Instructor too sharp?

Musefan

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone has had any similar experience and what they did about it. I'm well into my EDT with an instructor. I've paid in full. I find the instructor really sharp and cutting at times in their criticisms, they often raise their voice and shout in quite a shrill way if I make a mistake. I know that the mistakes are all my fault, and that I'm responsible for how the car is moving during the lesson.

One such example was when I was coming to a zebra crossing. I was slowing and my instructor shouted "EASY" and spooked me for a second and I hit the break quite hard. She was shouting at me up until the traffic lights about 20 seconds away , where they changed and out of nerves I hit the breaks a little hard again. She shouted "Jesus Christ, not this again for god's sake!" and kept at me all the way to the car park (this was about 2 mins from the end of the lesson). I know that I did a silly thing by hitting the breaks harder than I meant to, and it's dangerous, but I find it really hard to drive on when she is shouting. I'm not confrontational at all so I just stay quiet when this happens.

A second example is when I was indicating right into a car park and there was a car coming towards me. I was waiting in the box to turn right. I didn't feel like I would have all the manouvers (handbrake, clutch, biting point etc) done before the car came past so I was going to wait to let it pass when she started shouting "GO GO GO" at me and I moved off a little fast into the car park. She used her brake and stopped me very quick and proceeded to give out to me. I found it really hard to move the lesson on from there, as I was extremely nervous.

I wonder has anyone any tips for getting over nerves in these lessons. Perhaps I am not cut out for driving at all if I am so nervous of my instructor. Then again, I'm not sure if most driving instructors are like this?

moc moc a moc

You should speak to the agency and tell them that you want a more professional instructor.

You should also learn to air problems with the person responsible for said problems, particularly when you're paying them, but that's more of a general life tip.

Musefan

Thanks for the above, I know I need to work on my ability to confront others! Unfortunately it's not possible to ask for another instructor. The only other one is fully booked at the moment. Are most driving instructors like this?

TheChizler

Musefan wrote: »

Thanks for the above, I know I need to work on my ability to confront others! Unfortunately it's not possible to ask for another instructor. The only other one is fully booked at the moment. Are most driving instructors like this?

She sounds pretty awful in fairness, best to have a talk with her if you feel up to it or get a new instructor. Did you say you paid all up front?

Edit: Ah you did. Best to say something to her first, something like, no offense but your reactions are making me nervous. Hopefully she'll take it well cause she's probably got it before!

tim3000

The guy I'am doing it with is quite laid back and very patient. Perhaps you could say to her that you would not raise your voice as you are still quite nervous behind the wheel. Though I'd say that you may have to get a refund if possible and get a new instructor

WhiteRose90

I'm a learner driver going for my test and I think you should try talking to her before your next lesson. Just explain that her knee-jerk loud reactions are putting you off and affecting your driving. If she can't/won't try to stop this behaviour, maybe you should consider reporting her to the RSA or try and get an appointment with the other instructor you mentioned? I know you said they're booked up but they can't be booked up forever. Your instructor should be giving clear instructions and explaining if/where you go wrong so you can try and correct for next time to get you confident at driving, not shouting like a loon. I know if my instructor shouted at me, I wouldn't be where I am now - confident going for my test. Don't be afraid to speak up. It's your time and money. Good luck

jimmyw

You shouldn't have too put up with this, its not professional.I wonder is she even registered at all? Have you had many lessons with her so far? I would bring it up with her calmly the next time you have a lesson, and if she gets ratty again or scuffs at you, I would say that you are going to another instructor.All of the instructors are not the same, there are good ones and bad ones.

After all you are paying her.You will be a nervous wreck for the test if you carry on like this with this instructor.A loss of earnings for the instructor may buck her up.........then again maybe not.

downonthefarm

ah god be with the days when you could teach yourself to drive

65bl

In this instant forget the fact that you are the "pupil" and remember you are the "customer". There are many many driving instructors available these days and no business can afford to have unhappy customers.

In your summary you clearly rationalize what you did and why you did it. A good teacher should be aware of this and work to reinforce these positive reasons and not make you more nervous.

My own son is currently doing lessons and if he arrived in and told me what you have, I would not be shy about contacting the company. I,m sure you have a mother/father/partner who would be prepared to contact the company on your behalf.

Again let me say you are the customer and you have rights. Stand up for them.

Good luck and safe driving

Sunhill

Make a sound recording of your next lesson on your mobile and put it up here for our amusement

SureYWouldntYa

this is also why you shouldn't pay an instructor in full uphand without knowing what they will be like personallly

i know my instructor as he's a friend of my dad's but he's only taking payment lesson by lesson in case i dont like his style

Crazyteacher

I thought it was just mine, although I think me is quite deaf to be honest. Have a few days break from her and then try one more lesson, if there's no improvement in her behaviour then move on . Put yourself on the driver instructors wait list(if he/she has one) and be prepared to move on. Nobody has to put up with being spoken to in that manner, you dont learn anything in fear. That's my plan too:)

Musefan

Hi all, thanks for your replies. It seems as if the key is to be a little bit more assertive. I have taken a break for two weeks, and I plan on practicing in between with a different instructor from another school who I have been told is quite patient and nice. Hoping I can just learn to tune out her screeching and focus on the useful things she is telling me!

Crazyteacher

Hope things improve for you:)

ek motor

I agree with the rest of the posters, sounds like she's very unprofessional. A good instructor should be patient and put you at ease, not over react and shout when you make a mistake.

Paco Rodriguez

Hi OP

I too am doing my EDT. Your instructor sounds like she shouldn't be in the job. That is a terrible way too be.

Ive kept stalling one time at lights. The lights changed to green twice before I moved off but my instructor calmly told me just relax...much different to what you have received.

You are paying good money to the company and are entitled to change instructor. Good luck!

St. Leibowitz

Sounds like you've discovered the reason the other instructor is booked up and she's available.

You are the customer. You shouldn't have to put up with crap like that. She sounds very unprofessional. That style may suit some people, but not the huge majority.

I'd either look for them either to provide a full refund, or else book with the other instructor in the school, and look for them to provide lessons to replace the lessons you've already had with the looney.

fierceclever

I really feel for you OP, the last thing you need when you're learning is some wagon in the seat next to you making you feel even more nervous!

I've just started doing lessons and luckily managed to get a really nice guy - very cool and calm. When I've made a mistake I usually realise it too...no need for theatrics. He makes me to tell him where I went wrong and then explains the proper procedure calmly and we practise it a couple of times so that it doesn't happen again.

If you don't want to deal with her directly or have that confrontation maybe you could ring the office and explain the situation, as some of the other posters have suggested? They have a responsibility here too - unnecessarily upsetting you could be endangering other road users.

I presume your normal consumer rights apply with driving instructors?

Sam Kade

Sounds like she's in the wrong job if she can't control her temper. One thing you need to be a driving instructor is patience and plenty of it.