Is stairgate at toddlers door a big no no?

CarMe

My gut instinct tells me it is.

My two year old girl is able to escape from her cot now so for the first time ever I've had her in with me as I was afraid of her hurting herself. Her big bed arrives today but she's gotten so clingy she either wants to be downstairs with me, in bed with me or in my bed knowing I'll be there later.
Are there any tips or tricks for getting her to stay in her own bed tonight?

I would much rather reason with her than lock her in with a stairgate but any time I big up the idea of her new bed she says oh wow new bed, and when I mention sleeping in it "no, mammys bed". Also at least I would know she was safe and not roaming around the bathroom etc?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Would you laying down with her in her bed to read her a story kind of set her up with a routine? I don't have kids but I'd be a bit nervous having a child locked into her room.

Chattastrophe!

My parents used to have a really noisy windchime hanging over the bedroom door, so that the door would actually hit it whenever it was opened. Might be worth a try ... it won't keep her in the room, but at least you'll know if she goes wandering!

Hannibal Smith

Have you got a stair Gate at the top of the stairs? I didn't like the idea of a stairgate on the door either and we went through hell with our eldest getting him to stay in his bed. Especially when his brother arrived. But we just had to endure it until the novelty wore off, which it thankfully did.

GerardKeating

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Would you laying down with her in her bed to read her a story kind of set her up with a routine? I don't have kids but I'd be a bit nervous having a child locked into her room.

Before the child could not climb out of the cot, so even with an open door, they were trapped in the room, what's the difference if one now locks the door when then are in a bed.

ted1

GerardKeating wrote: »

Before the child could not climb out of the cot, so even with an open door, they were trapped in the room, what's the difference if one now locks the door when then are in a bed.

Just about to say that.

Chattastrophe!

GerardKeating wrote: »

Before the child could not climb out of the cot, so even with an open door, they were trapped in the room, what's the difference if one now locks the door when then are in a bed.

Whatever about having a stairgate at the door, I definitely wouldn't consider locking the door!

What if there's a fire, a locked door will almost certainly slow down anyone trying to get in to rescue the baby.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Tlachtga wrote: »

Whatever about having a stairgate at the door, I definitely wouldn't consider locking the door!

What if there's a fire, a locked door will almost certainly slow down anyone trying to get in to rescue the baby.

Same, like if there was a fire would that not slow down with getting into the room? At least with the cot the child just needs to be lifted out of it.

theLuggage

We have a stair gate on our little ones door (she's two and a half) - there's no way she could roam around upstairs and not cause mayhem/trouble! She's the kind to be into EVERYTHING. The stair gate is fine, easy for us to open and keeps her in her room, which is a completely safe environment for her to mooch around in. I just put her to bed at about 8:15 and I hear her up there walking around her room. I know she's safe and can get back into bed when tired. ;-)

CarMe

Oh TheLuggage, your message couldn't have come at a better time.

I've just spent a miserable two hours coaxing, bribing, sweet talking, cuddling, singing, being stern etc etc etc. And she isn't even in the new bed yet as I need a different screwdriver to tighten it.

DEFINITELY putting gate at her bedroom door tomorrow, safely wasn't really my main concern as I think its as hazardous on the stairs, I just had this idealistic notion that I would rather explain and have her understand rather than "trap" her but the stairgate is looking rather beautiful right now

wolfpawnat

I have seen this in two of my friends homes, never had to do it myself as I am in a small apartment where we would notice him in a moment, but it is a good idea IMO. If there is a fire, you would go through the gate and knock it even if you didn't think to open it! And they are safe and able to call you if they do open the door, rather than locking in the poor child.

January

I have a pressure mounted gate on my older two's door. They could push it over if they tried hard enough... It just means that if they wake and I or their father doesn't, they are contained safely in their room and not trying to switch on the toaster or the tv etc on their own.

pwurple

I think if they can climb out of the cot, they might be able to climb over a stair gate... I had to take mine off the stairs even, she was using it as a climbing frame.

What my friend did was sit outside the door on a chair herself for 3 or 4 nights with a book, and kept sending the child back to bed everytime they got up until they went to sleep. They stopped bothering on night 4.

Immolation

My wife made me watch an episode of Super Nanny where the parent was up until 11pm putting the child back into their bed over 40 times.
We gave ours one chance to come out then it was door locking time for any re-offending.
There were tears at first but total success with all our 3 inside a week.

staticdoor71

my daughter is still in a cot, and i have a stair gate on the door, just to keep the cat out.. But it will be staying there when she moves into a bed. I dont see a problem with it.. once its not used as a baby prison of course!! :eek::pac:

But she knows it opens and closes as she says open, when we are bringing her to bed.

Its all down to what works for each family

CarMe

Oh my god SUCCESS!!

First night of the stairgate up, I put her into bed, read her stories and left at 7.15pm which is a good bit earlier than usual but I was expecting a few hours of mayhem. She came to the gate when I was downstairs and shouted "out and play, out and plaaay" so I went back up, put her back into bed.
More roaring that I ignored and she's been asleep for the past ten minutes I'm DELIGHTED!!!

It's been at least 9 most nights since she outgrew the cot!!

Thanks so much for all the advice, a very very happy mammy!

theLuggage

Thats great CarMe! Glad its working for you and you're getting an early night :-)

Pwurple - the thought of her climbing the gate terrifies me! She hasn't yet and never did with her cot so hoping she doesn't discover it - actually it hadn't even crossed my mind - a new worry! ;-)

muttley-dps

Our little one recently moved from the cot to a big bed and for the 1st 2 weeks there were no real problems. However since this heat has begun every night she was running riot upstairs forcing us to move a stair gate in front of her door.

She does eventually settle but settling twice this past week has meant falling asleep on the floor beside the gate with the door opened.

Tonight I'm going to try and just leave the door open so that there is no need for her to go open it. Not sure what else to try after that. She's a month short of 2 years and has never had trouble going to sleep on her own.