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What should i do?

  • 09-07-2013 6:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So at the beginning of the college year, one of my friends was mad into me. I didn't feel the same, and besides he had got briefly involved with my best friend, and she was obsessed with him. But recently I decided to give it a chance, even though this basically meant losing my friend cos she was so upset.

    I realised that I liked him much more than i thought I would, and for two weeks everything was great. he treated me so nicely. But then he started to get withdrawn and worried. It turns out that he feels guilty because I feel more intensely than he does and it's eating him up, and he doesn't know what country he'll be living in in a few months etc. He also has various mental health issues. He says that he's not in love with me and doesn't feel he ever will be, but this is based entirely on how he has felt in previous relationships. He said the right thing to do was to break up with me, cos he doesn't want to hurt me in the future.

    I was so upset at first. Because of my friend, and because i was really just enjoying our time together. I wasn't looking into the future and worrying about it like he was. But now we've talked, and understand each other better. i asked him to reconsider. He said he'd think about it, but wanted to know if I honestly wouldn't be as or more upset if this happens in the future. I said we can't know how either of us will feel, but that we have nothing to lose by giving it a chance right now.

    Am i doing the right thing? I mean, I knew he had faults from the start but I chose to look past them. I want to make my own choices in this case too. I don't want him to be making his decisions based on how he thinks I'll feel in the future. I'm trying to be calm at the moment and let him think about it, but truthfully I'm very sad. I don't want to break up, especially so early into our relationship.


Comments

  • #2
    _dublinlad_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 243 ✭✭_dublinlad_


    It really is complete guess work on yours/his, and especially any readers here on whether you are doing the right thing.

    To be fair to this guy he has been straight down the line with you and expressed exactly what he is feeling. Sounds like he just doesn't want to mess you about. Which is very admirable.

    For what its worth, from my own personal experience and what you explained of your own situation... I would guess on the balance of probabilities more hurt will come your way if you guys get back together.


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