State Situations Vacant

AnOrdinaryJoe

State Employment Agency (SEA)

All of us at SEA are pleased to advise Ireland is at last demonstrating to the world that we are world class with regards to the oft used expression, growth industries and emerging markets.

It is in relation to our own growth industries / emerging markets that we advertise a significant and meaningful number of regional vacancies throughout the whole of Ireland as follows:

Vacancies (1): Emigration advisors


Vacancies (2): Anti Depression Counsellors
Specifically for parents of offspring who through necessity of trying to earn a living find it impossible to continue living in Ireland and are forced to emigrate


Vacancies (3): Anti Suicide Counsellors


Vacancies (4): Bereavement Counsellors


Vacancies (5) Funeral Assistants

Due to an anticipated increase in business levels the funeral industry is currently recruiting throughout the whole of Ireland


Vacancies (6): Suitcase/Travel Bag Salespersons

We have posts for all of the above available in every town and village throughout the country. Please check in local SEA job markets as applicable.


Vacancies (7): Banksterarseologists

These are new positions under the auspices of the Fraud Office. Applicants will be require to probe in relation to acquistion of materials and evidences relating to possible pending actions regarding banksters, especially in connection to the probing inside the arses of banksters for information, etc which might prove to be relevant.


** Persons losing jobs via natural wastage in the areas of regular job recruitment may apply for these posts **

Nemeses

ah what now?

The Backwards Man

Well, we're big rock singers
We've got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
For ten-thousand dollars a show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ux3-a9RE1Q

biko

GastroBoy

AnOrdinaryJoe wrote: »

State Employment Agency (SEA)

All of us at SEA are pleased to advise Ireland is at last demonstrating to the world that we are world class with regards to the oft used expression, growth industries and emerging markets.

It is in relation to our own growth industries / emerging markets that we advertise a significant and meaningful number of regional vacancies throughout the whole of Ireland as follows:

Vacancies (1): Emigration advisors


Vacancies (2): Anti Depression Counsellors
Specifically for parents of offspring who through necessity of trying to earn a living find it impossible to continue living in Ireland and are forced to emigrate


Vacancies (3): Anti Suicide Counsellors


Vacancies (4): Bereavement Counsellors


Vacancies (5) Funeral Assistants

Due to an anticipated increase in business levels the funeral industry is currently recruiting throughout the whole of Ireland


Vacancies (6): Suitcase/Travel Bag Salespersons

We have posts for all of the above available in every town and village throughout the country. Please check in local SEA job markets as applicable.


Vacancies (7): Banksterarseologists

These are new positions under the auspices of the Fraud Office. Applicants will be require to probe in relation to acquistion of materials and evidences relating to possible pending actions regarding banksters, especially in connection to the probing inside the arses of banksters for information, etc which might prove to be relevant.


** Persons losing jobs via natural wastage in the areas of regular job recruitment may apply for these posts **

Been workin on that chestnut for a while have ya?

Lenin Skynard

Is this a situations vacant advert? Why is it on the After Hours forum

Nemeses

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Is this a situations vacant advert? Why is it on the After Hours forum

Vacancies (7): Banksterarseologists

Because that is a real job title. lol


Hi, I'm your local "bankersfsdogerty54swhgfdsdr - logist" and I'm here to help you decide whats happen in the last 90 years of le banc!

gobnaitolunacy

RTE may have a comedy writing post for the OP.

Chucken

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Is this a situations vacant advert?

Yes. Yes it is

AnonoBoy

I didn't even get to the bit where the joke was.

Was there a bit where the joke was?

GastroBoy

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Is this a situations vacant advert? Why is it on the After Hours forum

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Lenin Skynard

Chucken wrote: »

Yes. Yes it is

Thanks, might apply for that Banksterarologist one. I always wanted to be an ologist of some kind.