teen children rallying around exwife

cantthinkof

losing my sanity ... my 19 and 14 year old teens seem to prefer exwife and "wanted for questioning" boyfriend . eldest believes mothers happiness is foremost ,younger thinks he's cool . Ex and boyfriend have left ireland to avoid authorities . younger now with them for summer holidays but I'm not given address where they're staying .Younger will be back ..i hope ...at end of school holidays . Eldest at college abroad , but spends much of off time with them. Trying to be "cool" ,but losing my mind . Before you ask ,i've never physically or mentally hurt exwife or children . At worst I was a boring workaholic . Know I've done somethings wrong . But nothing to justify this pain

EvanCornwallis

Most of us acted the same when we were that age , they will grow out of it in the coming years. I look back to my teens and how I acted with my parents , nothing majorly bad. Just immature typical teen and parent relationship.

Try not to push to much with them, from what you've said I know you are probably worried about them being with their mother and this guy. Situation doesn't sound great. Suppose at the moment , you can just be around and available if they need you.

cantthinkof

Tell myself the same thing. But it's bring me down so low i'm not sure i can recover . Its his own child that has made allegations against him .Not the first either...

EvanCornwallis

Well in that case , your kids are going to need you at some point. So you have to stay strong for them.

Lorna123

cantthinkof wrote: »

losing my sanity ... my 19 and 14 year old teens seem to prefer exwife and "wanted for questioning" boyfriend . eldest believes mothers happiness is foremost ,younger thinks he's cool . Ex and boyfriend have left ireland to avoid authorities . younger now with them for summer holidays but I'm not given address where they're staying .Younger will be back ..i hope ...at end of school holidays . Eldest at college abroad , but spends much of off time with them. Trying to be "cool" ,but losing my mind . Before you ask ,i've never physically or mentally hurt exwife or children . At worst I was a boring workaholic . Know I've done somethings wrong . But nothing to justify this pain

I understand your pain OP, but don't take all of this personally. Children tend to gravitate to their mother more so than their father until they get older. Fathers tend not to show their feelings and so your children probably feel that you are okay. This opportunity for them to go over to your wife is just something new for them but sooner or later the novelty will wear off. Keep in touch with them and let them know you care is about all you can do before they come to their senses and realize what a good dad they have.

Esoteric_

To add to what's been said, why would you allow a 14 year old child to go to an unknown address to reside with somebody who is wanted by the police? I realise that her mother is entitled to, and deserves, access, but the child shouldn't be around a man who is wanted by the police, when you don't even know where she is.