Thinking about asking herself to marry me...

Dr Nic

I think its right in every sense...
Anyone else when yere time came, think about it a lot? I dont even know what im doing with my own life not to mind asking her to join into the mayhem...

Couldnt we just stay doing the same old... Sure life is great right now!!

blatantrereg

Yes. Thinking about it a lot is definitely better than not thinking about it a lot.

I infer that your gf wants to get married.

She's probably joined in the mayhem a lot already. Or if she hasn't maybe a proposal really is premature. I think it's definitely a good idea to live with someone a while before thinking about marriage. You can see a different side to people sometimes when you do.

Research indicates it's a good idea. Seems to have a positive effect on the happiness of both partners and any children they have. Don't know why that is. Also there are tax incentives.

Of course it's only a good idea if your relationship is going to stay positive the whole time. So thinking about it is better than not thinking about it.

Dr Nic

Oh weve been thru the mill youve no idea, and still going 3 years later...

Shes a foreign student nearing the end of her current visa and for her to stay were going thru the de facto hoops. Feck it, why not get married instead. I do love her and I dont know why but I believe she loves me too...

I had planned to marry her anyway but in a couple of years time, which I was hoping to put off indefinitely for no real reason.

I still see myself as only a young lad even at 30. Were living together 2 years nearly now...

Oh fexk it...
Thanks!

IrishEyes19

I dont think you should have doubts, you should know 100 percent. yes, there will always be fear, the unknown and a few reality checks. But its a huge step that should be really only taken if its what you want, not what you think is the right thing to do. There is such a difference between those two things and you need to figure out what page you're on in regards to that before promising something you might be sure about. best of luck

LegacyUser

Marriage is a big step for both of you.
You need to ask yourself would you be thinking of getting married to her if she was not coming to the end of her visa and due to the problems she is facing getting another visa?
Deciding to get married should be based on more than the fact that she can stay in Ireland long term if you get married. Rushing into a marriage now is a bad idea for you both.

If your girlfriend is the right person for you she needs to get her visa sorted out in order to stay in Ireland once she is finished her studies.
I would not mention getting married to her at this stage. You need to she that she wants to stay in Ireland and is just not with you for the sake of staying here long term.
If she mentions getting married to you I would just tell her I am not ready to get married yet.

From what you have said to us I don't think your ready for marriage yet and this is not a bad thing. I have seen couples rush into marriage and within a few years there marriage have ended which has been very hard on both people and in some cases the children they had.
If you are planning to get married you need to have a strong relationship as you don't know what will happen in the future. I have known several married couples who had to deal with various hardships after getting married and unless they had a strong relationship at the start they would not have stay married after these.

JenEffy

I think that if you're not sure you should think about it more. Waiting won't hurt but getting married if you're not sure could be a disaster. Not proposing now isn't really something that you can regret. Plus, 3 years isn't really that long to be going out with someone.

Meauldsegosha

Dr Nic wrote: »

I think its right in every sense...
Anyone else when yere time came, think about it a lot? I dont even know what im doing with my own life not to mind asking her to join into the mayhem...

Couldnt we just stay doing the same old... Sure life is great right now!!

Dr Nic wrote: »

Oh weve been thru the mill youve no idea, and still going 3 years later...

Shes a foreign student nearing the end of her current visa and for her to stay were going thru the de facto hoops. Feck it, why not get married instead. I do love her and I dont know why but I believe she loves me too...

I had planned to marry her anyway but in a couple of years time, which I was hoping to put off indefinitely for no real reason.

I still see myself as only a young lad even at 30. Were living together 2 years nearly now...

Oh fexk it...
Thanks!

Your heart is not in OP, that's obvious from the bits in bold. Getting married because "ah feck it, we might as well" is only going to end in disaster.

dellas1979

People (should) marry for the right reasons. They steady and sturdy the foundations. More over, the right reasons makes it genuine. And it sets up a good case for giving the marriage at least a chance, when bumpy/ier roads are met, and time takes its toll.

If you think you are doing it for the right reasons, go for it. If there is any doubt, I would not.