Internet Dating.

Trebor176

Such a topic may have been discussed here before, so I apologise for starting another thread, if it's the case. Anyway, have any of you tried internet dating? If so, what were your experiences? What are you views on it?

I'll admit that I joined one site a few weeks ago, and haven't had much in the way of replies (so far). I joined out of curiosity, so I am not expecting to meet anyone through it, but who knows? I am a genuine person, and there are some seemably genuine girls on there, and others obviously just take the piss.

Now, I know people have mixed opinions about internet dating in general. I was a bit sceptical to start with, but just decided to try it in the end and see how things would go. Some reckon it's a better way to meet someone, rather than on a night out in a club or whatever, while others reckon it's a complete waste of time. I mean, there are plenty of other ways to meet someone, and I realise that, of course. I do have a decent social life, but perhaps I just need a little more confidence to approach someone, strike up a conversation and take it from there. Anyway, some are on these sites looking for romance, while others are just looking for friendship. I'm not entirely sure why for the latter. I would have said the former would be harder.

Anyway, just a brief view about it, but I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences

humbert

I could have lived my life quite happily without having seen LOL used as a sentence.

Sounds like your online dating experience will follow the same trend as your night out experiences; not initiating conversation and ending up alone.

superb choice of username

Yeah, learnt the hard way - don't be yourself. Gotta 'play the game' - act confident and that

Might be slightly easier than playing the confident person in the club...

smileyj1987

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSfUWegHjBU

KeithM89

I still prefer carbon dating tbh, its way more fun.

uch

My eyes hurt after reading that

confuseddotcom

Boards Discussion here for Online Dating Group.

policarp

Ah. You'll be all right.

Bozo Skeleton

I joined up on a free site about a year ago. I never thought I would, and it turned out, it's just not my thing. If I ever meet anybody, it'll be at a gig or in a bar.
Anyway, my point being. People who cannot spell, or write in text speak are a major turn off. They come across as idiots to me.

Canis Lupus

I currently work in credit card fraud and so get to see peoples spending. The amount of money people are spending on internet dating sites is mindblowing. I guess people just don't meet up like they used to.

As an aside, having to call someone to see if they joined up to a site called CougarLife was fun and awkward all at the same time.

Galwayguy35

"Anyting u wanna kno just ask"

"gjdfkgghdfgg will fill dis in later"

"not being mean but if you know your ugly don't reply"

Some of the well thought out profiles on POF.

I'm on a paid site and find it better, more genuine people who actually want to meet someone and not timewasters.

Karl Stein

Have you considered cocooning yourself in duct tape and staying in your bedroom?

kjl

Ok, so I travel a lot with work and don't really get much chance to go to nightclubs, so I joined an internet dating site thinking, maybe the tide has turned and this is how people meet nowadays. I sifted through facebook for a few photos when I thought I looked well and posted them up on OKCupid. Well I must have done something right because I started getting loads of messages from women on the site and here is my conclusion. There are two type of women on internet dating sites. Ugly ones and nigerian scammers trying to get you to send them money in some way shape or form.

There is an stench of desperation from most of the girls on the site. Every photo looks like they have been carefully selected from a thousand bad ones because the girl kinda looks less fat in it. You make a comment about something in their profile and they are eager to get chatting to you and finding out more. I find the whole thing pathetic, so I was correct about how people meet nowadays, just ugly people. People incapable of meeting someone in real life.

There is a certain stigmatism associated for using a dating site and I feel this should stay and not be lost. If you are not good enough to meet women in public, you should not be praised for having a laptop but be mocked for having to resort to it.

Bozo Skeleton

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

"Anyting u wanna kno just ask"

"gjdfkgghdfgg will fill dis in later"

"not being mean but if you know your ugly don't reply"

Some of the well thought out profiles on POF.

I'm on a paid site and find it better, more genuine people who actually want to meet someone and not timewasters.

A friend of mine met someone on The Guardian dating site, they clicked, moved in together, and now have a new born kid, a success story. Dating sites are not my bag really. I prefer real life interactions. Maybe that's why I'm single

just_be_nice

It's been around for a long time now and it has been gaining in popularity all the time. It's one of the most popular ways to meet partners in North America.

There isn't such a culture of asking people out on dates in Ireland so online dating is slower in developing but many people are using it.

I have not tried it but I think it's a great idea. It seems like a great way to meet lots of people, get some info on them, email and chat to find out more, then if all is good, go on lots of dates!

I know of a quite a few couples who met online and they are all very well matched and have a lot of fun together.

Karl Stein

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5UEZYeSVqA

Singularity 1

I tried it for 2 years and in that time I only went on 1 date. I deleted my profiles a couple of months ago. I found it too time consuming and over all just disappointing. The problem is there are so many creeps on it sending dic pics so the women become extra cautious and the whole thing becomes like an audition where you have to prove you're not a creep - guilty until proven innocent, a bit like the pub/club scene.

Although I find with the foreign women they're not as suspicious and will generally reciprocate the chat. This goes for online dating as well as real life, but that's just been my experience.

Duggys Housemate

kjl wrote: »

Ok, so I travel a lot with work and don't really get much chance to go to nightclubs, so I joined an internet dating site thinking, maybe the tide has turned and this is how people meet nowadays. I sifted through facebook for a few photos when I thought I looked well and posted them up on OKCupid. Well I must have done something right because I started getting loads of messages from women on the site and here is my conclusion. There are two type of women on internet dating sites. Ugly ones and nigerian scammers trying to get you to send them money in some way shape or form.

There is an stench of desperation from most of the girls on the site. Every photo looks like they have been carefully selected from a thousand bad ones because the girl kinda looks less fat in it. You make a comment about something in their profile and they are eager to get chatting to you and finding out more. I find the whole thing pathetic, so I was correct about how people meet nowadays, just ugly people.

People incapable of meeting someone in real life.

There is a certain stigmatism associated for using a dating site and I feel this should stay and not be lost. If you are not good enough to meet women in public, you should not be praised for having a laptop but be mocked for having to resort to it.

Extremely weird logic. You assumed they were ugly because they were talking to you when you wrote on their profiles despite the good pictures on their profiles?

I've never used online dating but that kind of logic makes no sense.

Canis Lupus

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

Extremely weird logic. You assumed they were ugly because they were talking to you when you wrote on their profiles despite the good pictures on their profiles?

I've never used online dating but that kind of logic makes no sense.

I like how he labels everyone on the site pathetic EXCEPT himself. I guess he ended up not getting laid.

Bipolar Joe

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I like how he labels everyone on the site pathetic EXCEPT himself. I guess he ended up not getting laid.

Also, the chicks photos looked like they were carefully selected so they looked good, which is bad, after he trawled Facebook selecting a picture where he looked good.

Thwip!

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Also, the chicks photos looked like they were carefully selected so they looked good, which is bad, after he trawled Facebook selecting a picture where he looked good.

Was just going to point that out

Esoteric_

kjl wrote: »

Ok, so I travel a lot with work and don't really get much chance to go to nightclubs, so I joined an internet dating site thinking, maybe the tide has turned and this is how people meet nowadays. I sifted through facebook for a few photos when I thought I looked well and posted them up on OKCupid. Well I must have done something right because I started getting loads of messages from women on the site and here is my conclusion. There are two type of women on internet dating sites. Ugly ones and nigerian scammers trying to get you to send them money in some way shape or form.

There is an stench of desperation from most of the girls on the site. Every photo looks like they have been carefully selected from a thousand bad ones because the girl kinda looks less fat in it. You make a comment about something in their profile and they are eager to get chatting to you and finding out more. I find the whole thing pathetic, so I was correct about how people meet nowadays, just ugly people. People incapable of meeting someone in real life.

There is a certain stigmatism associated for using a dating site and I feel this should stay and not be lost. If you are not good enough to meet women in public, you should not be praised for having a laptop but be mocked for having to resort to it.

I'm neither fat nor ugly, I don't have hundreds of photos to even sift through to find 'good' ones, I'm more than able to meet people 'in real life' (most of my relationships were with people I met offline), and I still think OD is great. It takes some time and effort because there ARE chancers and liars on it, just like in every walk of life, but people like you are the reason some stigma still exists.

miamee

confuseddotcom wrote: »

Boards Discussion here for Online Dating Group.

The social group is actually closed now but if you want to post/ask questions, PM me for access to our private forum

Esoteric_

miamee wrote: »

The social group is actually closed now but if you want to post/ask questions, PM me for access to our private forum

Or me.

starlit

So is it not ok to select a pic that shows the person in the best pose than something that might make someone run off.

Coffeeteasugar

Tried it, but wasn't for me, nothing much materialised out of it besides a lot of online conversations, so difficult to know whether you have the same chemistry in real life!

biko

Trebor176 wrote: »

Such a topic may have been discussed here before, so I apologise for starting another thread, if it's the case.

www.google.ie/search?q=Internet+Dating+site:boards.ie

starlit

Very mixed on it myself.

IM0

Id say for anyone serious about it they will join a paying one, for people that are not and are timewaster flirters married with kids and want to feel better about themselves OR/and butt ugly ect, they will join free ones. its a last resort thing Id say, wreaking of desperation usually. Id say its like finding a needle in a haystack though trying to find the ones who genuinely dont have time for going out too much for work reasons/kids ect and will tick your boxes, if you arent desperate and dont just want a shag yourself in any hole will do kinda way like the local bike

jackstapleton

I've never done it personally...but I had a friend who used it extensively going on three or four dates a week. Its actually not a bad idea, since you can kiss a lot of frogs, so to speak. If you are professional, and don't do bars, then internet is useful.

Daveysil15

The internet is great for meeting people. Any women I've met over the last few years have all been through the internet. Although only 1 of them was through a dating site.

kowloon

Canis Lupus wrote: »

As an aside, having to call someone to see if they joined up to a site called CougarLife was fun and awkward all at the same time.

I swear, I thought it was some sort of mountain lion sanctuary!

looking_around

I don't go out to clubs at all, and am a very reclusive person.

I joined a site, a forum, that wasn't just dating, but had "meet ups" and "online dating" as well.

Met my partner there. And I must say, it was much easier than trying to meet people in a place I never go. And better than the online gamers who don't seem to know anything else ..>.>
We've been together bout 2 and half years now. And I don't think I would've found someone as compatible ,as easily in the real world, as I did through the site.

beks101

Had a brief stint with it years ago, found myself on a bunch of dates with nice guys who I had zero chemistry with, the odd player out for the ride thrown in there for good measure.

That's the fundamental problem with the online thing for me. You simply can't gauge chemistry when you're not face to face with someone, and the continuous "I think you're lovely, but" conversations become exhaustive.

hairyslug

I met my now wife on a free dating site, 5 years and 3 kids later and still going strong.
Before i met her i met some right weirdos and nymphos but its all a bit of a laugh, I know guys who use it purely as a chance to get an easy ride though

April O Neill

beks101 wrote: »

That's the fundamental problem with the online thing for me. You simply can't gauge chemistry when you're not face to face with someone, and the continuous "I think you're lovely, but" conversations become exhaustive.

This was it for me too.

And to paraphrase Professor Frink: "But the computer matches would be so perfect clincal as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest."

I'm actually a member of the online dating forum here on boards, and find it an interesting topic, but personally it wasn't for me.

Galwayguy35

beks101 wrote: »

Had a brief stint with it years ago, found myself on a bunch of dates with nice guys who I had zero chemistry with, the odd player out for the ride thrown in there for good measure.

That's the fundamental problem with the online thing for me. You simply can't gauge chemistry when you're not face to face with someone, and the continuous "I think you're lovely, but" conversations become exhaustive.

But is it any worse than trying to meet people in pubs/clubs where many patrons are drunk?

ToddyDoody

I can honestly say I have had no luck whatsoever with internet dating sites and don't think id ever use one again. The match making festival is a better option, a drunk night is a better option, friends of friends is a better option. The single colleague might even be a better option. Why? Its just too un-natural really. Do swans, who mate for life, sign up to myperfectfellowdesperate.com? No.

beks101

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

But is it any worse than trying to meet people in pubs/clubs where many patrons are drunk?

If you meet someone in a pub you generally know straight away whether or not you fancy them. Or at least I do. I don't usually get so drunk that I can barely recognize physical attraction.

When I think of my exes and imagine the kind of profiles and pics they might have had on a dating site - I probably wouldn't have given them a second look. But because we met in the flesh at a house party or through work or whatever, I felt something right off the bat, so knew there was a point to pursuing something.

In my limited experience of online dating, I felt the opposite. It all seemed a bit pointless when I got to the stage where it was "great guy, just not for me" for the fourth/fifth/Nth time.

Galwayguy35

beks101 wrote: »

If you meet someone in a pub you generally know straight away whether or not you fancy them. Or at least I do. I don't usually get so drunk that I can barely recognize physical attraction.

When I think of my exes and imagine the kind of profiles and pics they might have had on a dating site - I probably wouldn't have given them a second look. But because we met in the flesh at a house party or through work or whatever, I felt something right off the bat, so knew there was a point to pursuing something.

In my limited experience of online dating, I felt the opposite. It all seemed a bit pointless when I got to the stage where it was "great guy, just not for me" for the fourth/fifth/Nth time.

Yeah I suppose everyone has a different take on it.

Personally I would favour internet dating though because I never had much confidence approaching women in pubs/clubs.

Think it's important for people to have a pic up though, met someone once who hadn't and although she was a very nice person there was just no attraction there at all.

Ruudi_Mentari

couldn't possibly subscribe to it.

knucklehead6

I love the AH answers here.

B.A._Baracus

Internet dating on paper is a great thing. The chance to meet someone who you never would of crossed-paths with, finding that perfect someone etc etc.

The problem is in reality that doesnt always happen. In fact, out of everyone I know who admitted to being on a dating site to me, the vast majority found internet dating to be terrible. Don't get me wrong i know a few people who are in relationships because of it (the success stories) ... but more people just experience the same 'old thing' - replies stop after a few mails, having to send dozens of mails to get a reply, meeting people with baggage, users, weirdos, etc. It's always the same core reasons when someone doesnt find internet dating to be of any use.

I actually know a woman in her late 40s who used internet dating. To sum it up she said "I've had dozens of younger men between 18 upwards message me. Most looking for sex. They can't all be into older women. They have to be mailing girls around their own age too. So why are they mailing a woman double their age?" - she went on to say these younger girls aren't getting back so blokes fire out mails to anyone and everyone... and I would agree with her.

Shenshen

jackstapleton wrote: »

I've never done it personally...but I had a friend who used it extensively going on three or four dates a week. Its actually not a bad idea, since you can kiss a lot of frogs, so to speak. If you are professional, and don't do bars, then internet is useful.

This, pretty much.

I seriously never understood how people can meet anyone in a nightclub - how on earth would you be able to talk to someone in a place that makes your ears bleed it's so noisy?
I was on a dating site for a while, went out for a few dates and eventually met the man I later married.

I'm sure it's not for everyone, but I did like the fact that you get to chat a little online and get to know the person a little before actually meeting up. It made me much more at ease, and it allowed me to sort out the people I had nothing at all in common with straight away - something I'm not very good at in real life, how do you tell what a person's interests and views are just by looking at them?

Shenshen

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I can honestly say I have had no luck whatsoever with internet dating sites and don't think id ever use one again. The match making festival is a better option, a drunk night is a better option, friends of friends is a better option. The single colleague might even be a better option. Why? Its just too un-natural really. Do swans, who mate for life, sign up to myperfectfellowdesperate.com? No.

Are you saying swans have regular drunk matchmaking festivals?


Does Bill Oddie know about this? :eek:

Hardonraging

As the official outrageous poster of AH I shall attempt to answer this in a manor that will please all ... (as per the norm )

Internet dating, it's great, but only if you learn from it, I'll use the analogy of closing a car door on your hand, sure you might try it once, but then you'll realise it's not productive, and perhaps using the handle is more beneficial, or you could try the old 'get out and pull the door back towards you as you spring out of the way' routine, or the open handed push on the window approach ..

Either way, if you try internet dating, and find that something, be it your approach, your attitude, your pictures etc, is causing you to fail miserably you need to change .


I'll try not to generalise here, but you need a tough skin, a devil may care attitude, patients, and the ability to hold a conversation / listen to what a person is saying if you hope to be in any way successful.


I tried it for the past 12 month's, and found it to be incredibly rewarding, on several levels, the caliber of women, both from a conversational perspective right up to a ' I know what i want ..ahem ! ' perspective was fantastic ..


I suggest for those of you who are thinking about it to join the ODG, it's a fantastic platform to ask questions, and to get feedback on issues.

There has a goggle plex amount of threads about on line dating on boards, it one of those topics that come up again and again, it would be really interesting if someone did a Meta analyses of all the threads on boards and see what topics come up the most frequently, anything to do with the human condition come up a lot.

I met my husband on a dating site and had a few relationships form a dating site so for me it was good, but that dose not mean I didn't meat a fair few oddballs, men only looking for sex( mostly just harmless eejits ) men who were grand but there was no chemistry ( met a lot of them).

I also know someone getting married later this year to someone she met on a dating site. It dose work for some people on the other had I do know people who have had dreadful experiences, so while I would recommend giving it a try be realistic.

stateofflux

Hardonraging wrote: »

As the official outrageous poster of AH I shall attempt to answer this in a manor that will please all ... (as per the norm )

Internet dating, it's great, but only if you learn from it, I'll use the analogy of closing a car door on your hand, sure you might try it once, but then you'll realise it's not productive, and perhaps using the handle is more beneficial, or you could try the old 'get out and pull the door back towards you as you spring out of the way' routine, or the open handed push on the window approach ..

Either way, if you try internet dating, and find that something, be it your approach, your attitude, your pictures etc, is causing you to fail miserably you need to change .


I'll try not to generalise here, but you need a tough skin, a devil may care attitude, patients, and the ability to hold a conversation / listen to what a person is saying if you hope to be in any way successful.


I tried it for the past 12 month's, and found it to be incredibly rewarding, on several levels, the caliber of women, both from a conversational perspective right up to a ' I know what i want ..ahem ! ' perspective was fantastic ..


I suggest for those of you who are thinking about it to join the ODG, it's a fantastic platform to ask questions, and to get feedback on issues.

Its always rewarding when you are a consultant

Hardonraging

stateofflux wrote: »

Its always rewarding when you are a consultant

I'm a struggling doctor .... what can i say !!

I am a bit hesitant about asking this, but it always wondered about this when I was on a dating site.

Do some people not realise that they are either odd, needy, weird, angry or even all four?

Why lie about your weight or hight because for the simple reason when you meet someone they are going to see you as you really are so why do it in the first place?

Do a lot of people have no insight in to themselves at all? or even are a lot of people completely delusional about themselves.

Hardonraging

mariaalice wrote: »

I am a bit hesitant about asking this, but it always wondered about this when I was on a dating site.

Do some people not realise that they are either odd, needy, weird, angry or even all four?

Why lie about your weight or hight because for the simple reason when you meet someone they are going to see you as you really are so why do it in the first place?

Do a lot of people have no insight in to themselves at all? or even are a lot of people completely delusional about themselves.

One of the key issue's would be the lack of confidence / social skill's, this is not always apparent when communication over a long period of time is kept to a written medium.

AS for the lie's about look's weight, height, people will always chance there hands to gain an advantage, it's no real difference in any aspect of life, recently I heard of a girl who went to meet a guy, after he produced one picture, he refused to sent a picture from him phone , and was 'not on facebook' needless to say the chap who appeared was described as A) not resembling the original picture, and a mountain troll ..