Noisy neighbours - downstairs

Baileyboo1

Hi we're living in an appartment where sound proofing isn't great at all . We're on the top floor . There is a family under us that obviously have a toddler that is constantly running up and down and jumping around late into the night . The noise of this running and jumping echoes up to us and is loud . We ignored it for the first 6 months but its got to the point its driving me nuts . I left them a very polite letter explaining our issues but nothing changed . I appreciate its their own home and their child should have the right to run about . Do we have rights to be complaining about this

ted1

Baileyboo1 wrote: »

Hi we're living in an appartment where sound proofing isn't great at all . We're on the top floor . There is a family under us that obviously have a toddler that is constantly running up and down and jumping around late into the night . The noise of this running and jumping echoes up to us and is loud . We ignored it for the first 6 months but its got to the point its driving me nuts . I left them a very polite letter explaining our issues but nothing changed . I appreciate its their own home and their child should have the right to run about . Do we have rights to be complaining about this

No none what so ever, they are living on there apartment and not doing anything that could be counted as out of the ordinary.

What you could do is check the apartment to see if it was constructed to code and then seek the builder to redress the issues , but he is probably going bust

the_syco

If you own the apartment, check if there's any soundproofing. If there isn't, there's a chance that they're ignoring you as they get a lot of noise from your apartment, but ignore it as it's part of apartment living?

Eibhlin2011

I live in a very echoey building too with an apartment above us. It never occurred to me that our neighbours might be able to hear our child running around or dropping toys. However it would be very difficult - impossible - to stop her. The only thing that would help would be to have carpets put down.

Your neighbours might hear a lot of noise from your apartment too. We hear every single footstep - and if they are wearing any heel or boot its like listening to a little hammer. We hear wardrobe doors closing quite loud to the extent that it nearly wakes up our child at night. And chairs noisily being scrapped on the floor when someone sits down.

We don't complain about these ordinary noises we hear as we can't expect people to be creeping about like mice. If they were making unreasonable noise like playing loud music them i would complain.

I think leaving a note is the wrong approach. I know it can be difficult to catch people when they are in - but I think speaking to people personally is much better.

djimi

ted1 wrote: »

No none what so ever, they are living on there apartment and not doing anything that could be counted as out of the ordinary.

I dont know about that. It depends on how late at night; most complexes will have a policy of all noise must be kept to a minimum by 10pm or whatever. I wouldnt get away with jumping up and down and making noise in my apartment that late at night; I dont see its any different just because its a toddler involved? As far as Im concerned if the child is causing a lot of noise (and I stress if, as we dont know how much noise is involved or whether or not anything can be done to prevent it) then its up to the parents to find a way of ensuring that the neighbours are not disturbed.

Gatling

That is nearly impossible to keep a toddler quite at the request of others unfortunately kids don't work like that

djimi

Gatling wrote: »

That is nearly impossible to keep a toddler quite at the request of others unfortunately kids don't work like that

I wasn't allowed to run around wild at night when I was a kid. None of my friends were either. It's seems to be a very modern notion that you can't keep kids quiet.

Grandpa Hassan

Is the problem here the combination of the toddler and wooden floors? If parents have a noisy toddler, the least they can do is lay carpets

And I agree with djimi. When did it suddenly become the accepted norm that toddlers run and jump around late into the night!?

Gatling

One of the problem with posters on this subject they have zero experience raising kids in an apartment,
Remembering how much noise you may have made 18 -30 years ago dosent count,
I've 2 kids living in an apartment and they both can make a fair racket when they want to,
And no matter what anybody says to them they don't just instantly stop ,

djimi

Gatling wrote: »

One of the problem with posters on this subject they have zero experience raising kids in an apartment,
Remembering how much noise you may have made 18 -30 years ago dosent count,
I've 2 kids living in an apartment and they both can make a fair racket when they want to,
And no matter what anybody says to them they don't just instantly stop ,

If you choose to raise kids in an apartment then its up to you to find a way to not disturb your neighbours. Im not suggesting that noise should instantly stop, and of course from time to time kids might make noise (we all do) but if its an ongoing issue then there is a problem there and it is up to you to find a solution to it.

Eibhlin2011

People don't always choose to live in an apartment with kids. I'd say most people would much prefer a house with a garden - but can't afford the higher rent for this. And some people bought apartments before they had kids and now can't trade up due to negative equity.

There are way worse neighbours out there than noisy toddlers.

Gatling

djimi wrote: »

If you choose to raise kids in an apartment then its up to you to find a way to not disturb your neighbours. Im not suggesting that noise should instantly stop, and of course from time to time kids might make noise (we all do) but if its an ongoing issue then there is a problem there and it is up to you to find a solution to it.

But unfortunately it doesn't work like that ,in a similar previous thread I've put foam mats on our 3 rd floor apartment living room that has woodlen flooring and tiles in our hallway ,after that I've to put up with teething ,colic,general whiny high pitched crys and a very active 4 year old who bounces around till 7pm when she goes to bed ,
Now i also get to put up with stupidly load music sometimes till 3 am ,
High heels on wooden flooring below us ,
People constantly banging or metal hand rails on the stair well,
People kicking in doors due to losing key's
And so on and so on

djimi

I accept that not every noise is avoidable, but I would have thought that "a toddler that is constantly running up and down and jumping around late into the night" is a very specific problem that should be simple enough to sort. I have no issue with kids making noise (within reason) during the day and into the evening, but after 10pm the question has to be asked what on earth are the parents doing allowing a kid run around making noise that late at night.

D3PO

where has 10pm come form there is no mention of 10pm in the opening post.

I disagree with this you have to keep your kid quiet stuff. Im sorry but if you live in an apartment you have to expect a certain amount of living noise. Children are inherently noisy, the fact they are inherently noisy makes this noise normal living noise IMO.

The OP''s neighbour isn't running their washing machine or dishwasher at crazy hours, blaring music or their tv etc, they are just living in their accomadation in a natural way.

If your going to be so sensitive about natural noise then quite frankly go move to a detached house.

djimi

I took late into the night to mean later than 9pm. Most complexes will have rules regarding noise levels at night, usually after 10pm.

Like I said, if I was jumping around my apartment late at night and disrupting the neighbours then something would be said; I fail to see why its any different for a toddler. You have to expect a certain amount of noise when living in an apartment, but likewise you have to accept that you dont live in an detached property and you have neighbours who's right to peace and quiet you have to respect. Kids will create a certain amount of noise that cannot be helped; allowing your kid to jump around the house at night most certainly does not fall into this bracket however.

D3PO

djimi wrote: »

Like I said, if I was jumping around my apartment late at night and disrupting the neighbours then something would be said; I fail to see why its any different for a toddler..

Because as an adult you have a comprehension of the noise your making and the impact such noise has on your neighbours a toddler does not.

Toddlers cannot be expected to be held to account in the same way adults are that is why for example being tried in court as an adult or a juvenile exist.

Of course as the parent of a child living in an apartment you should be cognoscent of your child and the noise they are making but you cannot be expected to tie them to the furniture or gag them to keep them quiet either.

djimi

D3PO wrote: »

Because as an adult you have a comprehension of the noise your making and the impact such noise has on your neighbours a toddler does not.

Toddlers cannot be expected to be held to account in the same way adults are that is why for example being tried in court as an adult or a juvenile exist.

Of course as the parent of a child living in an apartment you should be cognoscent of your child and the noise they are making but you cannot be expected to tie them to the furniture or gag them to keep them quiet either.

Never heard of bed time? Im not entirely sure what kind of parents allow their toddler to be up running around late at night anyway.

And just so were clear, Im obviously not suggesting that a toddler be held personally responsible for their actions...

D3PO

djimi wrote: »

Never heard of bed time? Im not entirely sure what kind of parents allow their toddler to be up running around late at night anyway.

...

First of all we have no idea what "late at night" from the OPs post refers to might be 9 for all we know different people have a different definition of late.

Secondly we don't know that the parents don't put the child to bed and the child gets back up kicking and screaming. The child makes noise its not unreasonable it happens, you live in an apartment you have to deal with it.

Natural living noise versus unnatural noise are two different things. What next a note through the neighbours door because their new born baby is crying at 3am....

theres a level of common sense needed in apartment living, the noise is not unreasonable.

Gatling

djimi wrote: »

Never heard of bed time? Im not entirely sure what kind of parents allow their toddler to be up running around late at night anyway.

And just so were clear, Im obviously not suggesting that a toddler be held personally responsible for their actions...

Toddlers tend to be very free spirited and fear less we can put them to bed in my case both kids are on 630pm /7pm bed times but they will both get up and bounce around till they actually fall asleep ,
Go to bed
Stay in bed
Get back into bed
This can literally repeat for hours ,
At times we parent's are completely powerless imagine the scenario where you have two parents literally screaming at kids to get into bed on top of a child /children screaming and jumping up and down
There's no easy solution despite how some people believing how easy it is to control a child/kids

Pawwed Rig

Gatling wrote: »

Toddlers tend to be very free spirited and fear less we can put them to bed in my case both kids are on 630pm /7pm bed times but they will both get up and bounce around till they actually fall asleep ,
Go to bed
Stay in bed
Get back into bed
This can literally repeat for hours

This is a parenting issue rather than a child issue. It is covered nearly every episode of Super nanny. You should give it a watch. It is about bed time routine and being firm with your kids.
It would not be normal to take hours to get a child settled.

Gatling

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

This is a parenting issue rather than a child issue. It is covered nearly every episode of Super nanny. You should give it a watch. It is about bed time routine and being firm with your kids.
It would not be normal to take hours to get a child settled.

Really ,

You watch a tv programme and become an instant expert

It doesn't work like that in real life

Pawwed Rig

Nope, I'm not an expert but Super Nanny is and this issue is always covered and resolved. I wouldn't try to offer advice on parenting, that is why I referred you to the expert.

whippet

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Nope, I'm not an expert but Super Nanny is and this issue is always covered and resolved. I wouldn't try to offer advice on parenting, that is why I referred you to the expert.

super nanny is an entertainment programme .....

My take on this is that Kids are part of society and will always be .... should you choose to live in an urban / complex environment you will always be in close proximity of the best and worst of society and the associated noise.

It is impossible to expect a child to be quite at any given time; anyone who has reared children will tell you that; so by living in an apartment complex you either condition yourself to dealing with the nuisance of the surrounding environment or move to another location.

I moved to a rural location as I just didn't like the noises / environment of urban living .. and I am delighted for it.

Children are and will always be noisy and no amount of watching Super Nanny will change that.

Gatling

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Nope, I'm not an expert but Super Nanny is and this issue is always covered and resolved. I wouldn't try to offer advice on parenting, that is why I referred you to the expert.

I'm no expert but I am a parent raising kids in an apartment ,

But keep watching I'm sure if its on TV its real

OldNotWIse

Grandpa Hassan wrote: »

Is the problem here the combination of the toddler and wooden floors? If parents have a noisy toddler, the least they can do is lay carpets

And I agree with djimi. When did it suddenly become the accepted norm that toddlers run and jump around late into the night!?

Find myself in agreement, and I'm pretty sure it would constitute a nuisance, so you have grounds to complain.
I dont think anyone should be expected to put up with other people's noisy children just because they refuse to keep them quiet. A lot of people living in apartments would love ot be living in a "rural" setting but this is not logistical. Telling someone to "like it or move to the country" is...well...ridiculous. Children are members of society yes but...so are the ones who have to put up with them!

Pawwed Rig

whippet wrote: »

super nanny is an entertainment programme .....

I realise that and perhaps I was a little flippant with the Supernanny example but it is not normal for children to be still bouncing off the walls hours after being put to bed so I would suggest that if this is happening then an expert opinion should be sought by the parent. Especially in an apartment situation where you are disturbing other residents.

OldNotWIse

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I realise that and perhaps I was a little flippant with the Supernanny example but it is not normal for children to be still bouncing off the walls hours after being put to bed so I would suggest that if this is happening then an expert opinion should be sought by the parent. Especially in an apartment situation where you are disturbing other residents.

You weren't listening. Children are free spirited members of society. They are allowed to make as much noise as they want 24/7. Their parents are also absolved of all responsibilities to keep them under reasonable control. It doesnt matter if you pay rent, your rent is not as valuable as rent from parents, and if you dont like it...off to tha country with ya!

Wabbit Ears

I am a parent of a toddler and Supernanny actually has it 100% correct. Its about routine and firmness. Having kids refuse to goto bed is just ineffective parenting and saying that its not like that in the real world is a cop-out, Its exactly like that in the real world.

runawaybishop

Gatling wrote: »

Toddlers tend to be very free spirited and fear less we can put them to bed in my case both kids are on 630pm /7pm bed times but they will both get up and bounce around till they actually fall asleep ,
Go to bed
Stay in bed
Get back into bed
This can literally repeat for hours ,
At times we parent's are completely powerless imagine the scenario where you have two parents literally screaming at kids to get into bed on top of a child /children screaming and jumping up and down
There's no easy solution despite how some people believing how easy it is to control a child/kids

This is bull****. Kids need to learn to do as they are told and keep the noise down, get your discipline sorted.

whippet wrote: »

super nanny is an entertainment programme .....

My take on this is that Kids are part of society and will always be .... should you choose to live in an urban / complex environment you will always be in close proximity of the best and worst of society and the associated noise.

It is impossible to expect a child to be quite at any given time; anyone who has reared children will tell you that; so by living in an apartment complex you either condition yourself to dealing with the nuisance of the surrounding environment or move to another location.

I moved to a rural location as I just didn't like the noises / environment of urban living .. and I am delighted for it.

Children are and will always be noisy and no amount of watching Super Nanny will change that.

This is also bull****. You cant absolve yourself of responsibility with a "kids will be kids lolollololol" attitude. Constant noise from kids is not normal, to be expected or acceptable.

OldNotWIse

Gatling wrote: »

Toddlers tend to be very free spirited and fear less we can put them to bed in my case both kids are on 630pm /7pm bed times but they will both get up and bounce around till they actually fall asleep ,
Go to bed
Stay in bed
Get back into bed
This can literally repeat for hours ,
At times we parent's are completely powerless imagine the scenario where you have two parents literally screaming at kids to get into bed on top of a child /children screaming and jumping up and down
There's no easy solution despite how some people believing how easy it is to control a child/kids

Nobody is saying its easy, but thats the choice you make as parents. Its not the choice your neighbours make.

Gatling

runawaybishop wrote: »

This is bull****. Kids need to learn to do as they are told and keep the noise down, get your discipline sorted.



This is also bull****. You cant absolve yourself of responsibility with a "kids will be kids lolollololol" attitude. Constant noise from kids is not normal, to be expected or acceptable.

Nothing wrong with my kids discipline
And as I stated in an earlier post we have to put up with a hell of a lot more noise coming from idiots adults who think its acceptable to slam heavy doors all hours day or night ,
Loud music ,loud sex ,parties ,setting off fire alarms ,

So amateur child physo babble and general cranks keeps bringing a smile to my face on these threads

OldNotWIse

Gatling wrote: »

Nothing wrong with my kids discipline
And as I stated in an earlier post we have to put up with a hell of a lot more noise coming from idiots adults who think its acceptable to slam heavy doors all hours day or night ,
Loud music ,loud sex ,parties ,setting off fire alarms ,

So amateur child physo babble and general cranks keeps bringing a smile to my face on these threads

Nothing wrong with your kids....its the adults paying rent who refuse to move to the country that are in the wrong yeah?

Gatling

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Nothing wrong with your kids....its the adults paying rent who refuse to move to the country that are in the wrong yeah?

What's has this got to do with my kids exactly

OldNotWIse

Gatling wrote: »

Nothing wrong with my kids discipline And as I stated in an earlier post we have to put up with a hell of a lot more noise coming from idiots adults who think its acceptable to slam heavy doors all hours day or night ,
Loud music ,loud sex ,parties ,setting off fire alarms ,

So amateur child physo babble and general cranks keeps bringing a smile to my face on these threads

Gatling wrote: »

What's has this got to do with my kids exactly

you tell me...you're the one who brought them into it.

Citycap

Eibhlin2011 wrote: »

People don't always choose to live in an apartment with kids. I'd say most people would much prefer a house with a garden - but can't afford the higher rent for this. And some people bought apartments before they had kids and now can't trade up due to negative equity.

There are way worse neighbours out there than noisy toddlers.

That's true. He can look forward to when they are teenagers. Then he will have something to complain about.

runawaybishop

Gatling wrote: »

Nothing wrong with my kids discipline

Gatling wrote: »

Toddlers tend to be very free spirited and fear less we can put them to bed in my case both kids are on 630pm /7pm bed times but they will both get up and bounce around till they actually fall asleep ,
Go to bed
Stay in bed
Get back into bed
This can literally repeat for hours ,
At times we parent's are completely powerless imagine the scenario where you have two parents literally screaming at kids to get into bed on top of a child /children screaming and jumping up and down
There's no easy solution despite how some people believing how easy it is to control a child/kids

This sounds like a discipline problem, I sympathise with your situation but it is not typical and it is certainly not acceptable for your neighbours to have to put up with.

Gatling wrote: »

And as I stated in an earlier post we have to put up with a hell of a lot more noise coming from idiots adults who think its acceptable to slam heavy doors all hours day or night ,
Loud music ,loud sex ,parties ,setting off fire alarms ,

Some adults make noise so we should ignore what the kids do?

Gatling wrote: »

So amateur child physo babble and general cranks keeps bringing a smile to my face on these threads

This isn't child psychology or crankism. Maybe you think all parents have to live with kids like you describe but that is not the case.

Gatling

My kids are well behaved actually its a generalisation of situation's happening in every apartment block in the country ,