Inability to express

STD_06

I met a guy at work who joined the same BU with me and who also happened to be from my college same batch though I never knew him at college.. After few days I realized that I started falling for him but controlled my feelings because by then he was already attracted to my beautiful best friend and roommate who also joined with me at the same company, though we remained good friends and I didn’t let anyone to know about my feelings..Along with time, I was successful to burry my feelings for him until my best friend got engaged to another guy her parents arranged for her.. I don’t know if it’s out of missing her or something else, my crushed guy started being close with and nice to me with regular messages and also in office.. Though my brain kept telling me ITS WRONG, ITS WRONG.. if he can switch interest from one girl to another so easily, I should not be close to him.. But I just could not resist being close to him, chatting with him.. The way he was showing he cares for me felt so good and right. I was happy for sometimes ..
Things started getting wrong during a trip to my best friend’s wedding when I started realizing all his care, closeness etc is limited to chat alone.. In reality, everything is just fake. When we are with other common friends, my existence doesn’t matter to him. Only his other close friends matter. I felt so heartbroken or rather say humiliated after realizing that I was just a chatting timepass for him after work at night or during holidays. I was nothing but just one of the chatting partner in his long-listed chatting lists. I was so stupid!!!! After returning from that trip, that full night I cried like hell for my stupidity.. I decided to stop talking with him slowing. But my bad fate, we both were assigned to the same team at the same time. I was so devastated. It became impossible for me to work with him sitting next to me… I lost concentration… But he was as normal as ever.. I just could not show any anger, share what I think to anyone.. Because I knew he was just another friend .. he didn’t commit to me for anything… Its my fault that I was thinking like something so stupid.. These things effected me like anything.. I stopped talking much to friends and ppl,. Crying every now and then without any reason , His thoughts always haunt me to avoid which I started working at office more n more unnaturally.. Friends started asking what’s my prob.. Even he kept asking what’s wrong with me.. Why I have become like this.. I don’t know what to say tohis ques.. to laugh or to cry… He still cares for me .. But like a friend, not like I thought it was. Like he does to any other friend.. But I was too stupid to understand these things.. I am just not to able recover from this.. He didn’t stop pinging ,just the frequency is reduced. He replaced me with another our common friend.. I understand everything that I am stupid, I am giving unnecessary importance to him in my life , But nothing worked…It still hurts like hell.. I just don’t know how to come out of this…

shy_boy

STD_06 wrote: »

I met a guy at work who joined the same BU with me and who also happened to be from my college same batch though I never knew him at college.. After few days I realized that I started falling for him but controlled my feelings because by then he was already attracted to my beautiful best friend and roommate who also joined with me at the same company, though we remained good friends and I didn’t let anyone to know about my feelings..Along with time, I was successful to burry my feelings for him until my best friend got engaged to another guy her parents arranged for her.. I don’t know if it’s out of missing her or something else, my crushed guy started being close with and nice to me with regular messages and also in office.. Though my brain kept telling me ITS WRONG, ITS WRONG.. if he can switch interest from one girl to another so easily, I should not be close to him.. But I just could not resist being close to him, chatting with him.. The way he was showing he cares for me felt so good and right. I was happy for sometimes ..
Things started getting wrong during a trip to my best friend’s wedding when I started realizing all his care, closeness etc is limited to chat alone.. In reality, everything is just fake. When we are with other common friends, my existence doesn’t matter to him. Only his other close friends matter. I felt so heartbroken or rather say humiliated after realizing that I was just a chatting timepass for him after work at night or during holidays. I was nothing but just one of the chatting partner in his long-listed chatting lists. I was so stupid!!!! After returning from that trip, that full night I cried like hell for my stupidity.. I decided to stop talking with him slowing. But my bad fate, we both were assigned to the same team at the same time. I was so devastated. It became impossible for me to work with him sitting next to me… I lost concentration… But he was as normal as ever.. I just could not show any anger, share what I think to anyone.. Because I knew he was just another friend .. he didn’t commit to me for anything… Its my fault that I was thinking like something so stupid.. These things effected me like anything.. I stopped talking much to friends and ppl,. Crying every now and then without any reason , His thoughts always haunt me to avoid which I started working at office more n more unnaturally.. Friends started asking what’s my prob.. Even he kept asking what’s wrong with me.. Why I have become like this.. I don’t know what to say tohis ques.. to laugh or to cry… He still cares for me .. But like a friend, not like I thought it was. Like he does to any other friend.. But I was too stupid to understand these things.. I am just not to able recover from this.. He didn’t stop pinging ,just the frequency is reduced. He replaced me with another our common friend.. I understand everything that I am stupid, I am giving unnecessary importance to him in my life , But nothing worked…It still hurts like hell.. I just don’t know how to come out of this…

Maybe you should go to some1 you trust just so you can compreend what happend a little better you sound broken hearted and left down by yourself for letting it happen it think talking to a councillor could really help you get your head around things good luck !

STD_06

Hi All,
I am really obsessed with one of my best guy-friends at office. He has never made any kind of advantages on me. He is extremely great friend with rare qualities and I really value his friendship. I really hate having this stupid crush because then I can't just be his friend. We've always had fun together and I'd like to keep it that way. He's not the cutest, smartest or funniest; just very sweet and loving.
Initially I thought I can live with this sweet crush on him without letting anyone know about it as it’s harmless.. But recently I am realizing that I am not able to accept his closeness and friendship with any other girl.. Accidently I got to know about his growing closeness with one of our common friends and it started haunting me like hell.. During a get together, they were just talking casually, but it was burning and bleeding inside me.... So stupid I am!!!... I tried really hard to think negative about him, but can't think anything badly of him, he's just too good!!!!... After work @home or during holidays, when am free and alone, I can’t think anything else except him talking to someone else. I literally feel suffocation or say kind of chest pain then .. I am just losing myself everyday slowly with everything kept inside myself…Its transformed me overall from a happy forever tension free girl to a broken hearted depressed personality .. I feel like in the span of few months I have grown few years older. ... The effect of this is so visible in me that everyone shows concern what’s wrong with me.. I have to hide with excuses of work-tensions, homesickness etc… Being a good friend he always tries to make me happy.. Sometimes I had to fight hard to resist myself from telling the truth when he interrogates me with great care about my problems.. But I just can’t say anything to him because I can’t afford losing his valuable friendship.. I heard one best way to get over a crush is to stay away from your crush for few days.. But unfortunately I don’t have this option too as we work in the same team in the same dept under the same manager sitting next to each other.. I have to face him in thousands of meeting every now and then. I am really having a hard time just relaxing and being myself around him. And I don’t know how to get rid of it. Should I leave my current office or act with more maturity!!!

discus

Ask him out?!

Taltos

OP - we have merged your threads.
Per our charter you are asked to only start one thread here at a time. Older threads will be closed but repeatedly starting new threads is viewed dimly and does result in moderator action.

Maybe just take a few minutes to review the charter as this is a strictly moderated forum.

Thanks
Taltos