What does he mean

LegacyUser

Ok, so I got introduced to this guy by a friend of mine a while back. We were texting for a couple of weeks an he seemed lovely. He asked me out for a drink so I went along and we got along so well, we have so much in common like. We ended up kissing an stuff an he told me he really likes me, and he had so much fun with me and cant wait to see me again. Naturally, I was chuffed with my self. So the next day he texted me, he actually texts me most days, and said we should organise another date. So that was grand, then last night we were chatting and he told me he just wants to have a bit of fun, no pressure for the moment.
Like what does that even mean? After all he said to me I thought he would want more. Any advice, even from a males point of view would be great appreciated.

Neyite

What does he mean? wrote: »

Ok, so I got introduced to this guy by a friend of mine a while back. We were texting for a couple of weeks an he seemed lovely. He asked me out for a drink so I went along and we got along so well, we have so much in common like. We ended up kissing an stuff an he told me he really likes me, and he had so much fun with me and cant wait to see me again. Naturally, I was chuffed with my self. So the next day he texted me, he actually texts me most days, and said we should organise another date. So that was grand, then last night we were chatting and he told me he just wants to have a bit of fun, no pressure for the moment.
Like what does that even mean? After all he said to me I thought he would want more. Any advice, even from a males point of view would be great appreciated.

It means what it means. He likes you. He wants to see you again. He wants to enjoy your company and maybe see where it goes.

Its been one date. You seem very full on for such early days. What was the chatting about before he said that he said that? Were you asking where he saw the relationship was going?

LegacyUser

I dont think im being full on, yeah it was only one date but the stuff he was saying, if anything he was being a bit full on.
He mentioned about going out again an I said yeah what about this weekend, an he said no make it next weekend an got into the whole having fun and no pressure. Im just confused coz of the stuff he said an then there was a complete turn around. If anything I just wanna know what 'have fun' means?

ash23

If a guy says to me he "just wants to have a bit of fun, no pressure for the moment", I would think that he's saying that he still wants to see other people and I should have no expectations of him at any point.


Now, if you've been coming on strong he might be just trying to get you to back off a bit. If you haven't then he's keeping his options open imo.

Personally (as I tend to play things cool), I would take it to mean he has no intention of getting into a relationship with me, no matter how many dates we go on. But only you know what to take from it or what context it was meant in.

Merkin

What does he mean? wrote: »

then last night we were chatting and he told me he just wants to have a bit of fun, no pressure for the moment.
Like what does that even mean?

It means exactly what he said.

You know if you listen hard enough and don't go hunting for a subtext then people will normally tell you what they mean. He has explicitly said that he just wants a bit of fun. I would take that to mean that he is not looking for anything serious or exclusive and that he doesn't want a girlfriend. I wouldn't over analyse it, he has been quite honest so no point in looking for hidden meanings here. Very straightforward.

At least he's being truthful and upfront with you from the beginning, instead of stringing you on. If you're happy with just that, then great, but if not, then move on.

dellas1979

What does he mean? wrote: »

I dont think im being full on, yeah it was only one date but the stuff he was saying, if anything he was being a bit full on.
He mentioned about going out again an I said yeah what about this weekend, an he said no make it next weekend an got into the whole having fun and no pressure. Im just confused coz of the stuff he said an then there was a complete turn around. If anything I just wanna know what 'have fun' means?

To me, it sounds like classic moves of a player. They are (too) full on at the start (thats to "hook" you. At this stage, alarm bells should go off in your head as to their intention), and then when you want more (i.e., as simple as prehaps another date), they will walk away, or say something like the above. Its a bit like hooking a fish (the bait being the charmer part). Youve been warned.

PS: No you are not being too full on asking if he wanted to meet up. Thats nonsense to believe that.

_dublinlad_

OK, two points spring to mind right away when I read this post.

First of all I would tend to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and not label him as a player (yet). As a male that has been through heart break with his last relationship, I am seeing a new girl now and am a little past were you two guys are. Although I really like this girl and see great potential there I want to take things slow and just enjoy her company for now and have fun - as your guy says. Maybe he is going down the same road.

Secondly, it is a fine balancing act we play at the early dating stage with someone new. Trying not to come across as over eager or overly aloof is a small mine field in itself. Maybe this guy is saying what he thinks you want to hear from the vibes you are giving him and acting aloof.

Anyway just food for thought from a guys perspective.

Savvy girl

_dublinlad_ wrote: »

OK, two points spring to mind right away when I read this post.

First of all I would tend to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and not label him as a player (yet). As a male that has been through heart break with his last relationship, I am seeing a new girl now and am a little past were you two guys are. Although I really like this girl and see great potential there I want to take things slow and just enjoy her company for now and have fun - as your guy says. Maybe he is going down the same road.

Secondly, it is a fine balancing act we play at the early dating stage with someone new. Trying not to come across as over eager or overly aloof is a small mine field in itself. Maybe this guy is saying what he thinks you want to hear from the vibes you are giving him and acting aloof.

Anyway just food for thought from a guys perspective.

Agree sounds like a player. Dump his ass.

Irish_Elect_Eng

He could have a near future life commitment, college, work, family illness or emigration, etc that means that he does not want to get too involved at this point.

Osborne

Savvy girl wrote: »

Agree sounds like a player. Dump his ass.

Great contribution there. They've been for one drink so "dumping his ass" isn't necessary.

I'd be under the impression that he's being genuine and upfront. I think he's being honest in telling you he's not ready for a relationship. Having said that, it doesn't mean that a relationship couldn't end up being formed down the road.

At the end of the day, if you enjoy his company and you're careful not to be taken advantage of, I wouldn't see the harm in seeing him again.