Bulimia

JenEffy

Hi, I've been suffering from bulimia/binge-eating disorder for about nine years. I see a therapist but it's hard when I can't talk to someone who's gone through the same thing. I was doing well but I'm having a massive relapse at the moment. Is anyone else going through the same thing?

Kevster

Hey, you might not believe me, but I suffered bulimia for around 10 years. It has really diminished recently, though, and I believe that the cause of this change is that so many other changes have happened in my life.

If you tried to picture the bulimia as a cycle, you might find some way of getting out of it. At the moment, you probably binge on food and then 'purge', and then repeat everything over again. What could you change to alter this cycle? It is all about habits and trying to put yourself in new situations where the bulimia doesn't exist.

It took me years of ups and downs with bulimia. The best thing I ever did was to not try to always run away from the bulimia. Instead, saying that - 'yes, I'm bulimic' - and then moving on from there was a help. Also, letting my parents know helped, as then they gave me less stress when we went out eating somewhere.

Kevin

NB - It's important to remember that purging is not necessarily vomiting the food - it can be doing other things, such as rigorous exercise or taking laxatives.

weevixx

I have suffered from the same for the last 8 years, going through very bad stages at certain points. I made some sort of break-through this year after a bad episode before Christmas made me reaslise that I needed to change something.

In December I was in a really horrible place mentally and that's when it was at it's worst. So I decided to make a change. I took time out from work and took a holiday for over a month...literally cut myself off from everything for 4 and a half weeks. When I got back I changed my living situation, as I knew that this was a trigger, and I changed my attitude to my health. Started eating a clean diet and tried to stop cut back on the excessive exercise.

It's been over 3 months (nearly 4) since my last episode, which isn't long but it's a positive start, and the longest I've ever managed. I'm sure there'll be setbacks but I agree with Kevin, in that looking at it as a cycle has helped. I've tried to pinpoint my triggers and eliminate these from my day to day life as much as possible. I also confided in two close friends which has helped a lot. I think there's a possible link to the fact that I feel like I'm in a happier place now as well. When things aren't going well I seem to fall back into bad habits so the challenge for me personally is finding other ways of dealing with that.

LegacyUser

Hi,
This is the 1st time I have ever come out and stated that I have an eating disorder! I have struggled with bulimia and anorexia for the last 6 years. I have also been in serious denial about this. I understand what triggered the behaviour years ago but since then my life has changed hugely in a positive way but the disordered eating has remained with me since. I am obsessed with food, it has taken up a huge part of my life. Where other people lapse into daydreams, I think about food, weight etc. I don't seem to know how to eat properly anymore and how to maintain a healthy weight. Initially I struggled with bulimia only, which was quite easy to hide as my weight stayed the same for years like this. Eventually I moved into a cycle of eating very little and purging after every meal. This is when I managed to lose weight. In addition to the weight loss, I looked awful -very pale, dry skin, my head looked too big for my frame etc. but at the time all I could see was the size 8 clothes tag that I was able to wear. It came to a head when a friend confronted me-nearly 2 years ago. This was a devastating time for me as it was a very public confrontation that lots of people were privy to-long story, but it made me face facts and begin to sort myself out. I had been doing quite well, eating healthily, developing a better attitude towards food and I stopped weighing myself- which I had previously done every morning- but the bulimia remained though to a lesser degree. I got to the stage where I managed to purge only once a day, or sometimes once every 2days. That sounds absolutely awful now, but believe me, it was a lot worse before that. In the last year I have steadily put on weight and am now nearly a stone heavier than at my lightest. I am finding this particularly hard to come to terms with and although I have decided to 'fix' myself I have kept putting it off until I can reach a more satisfactory weight. It has taken a lot to admit this to myself-that my problem is still there full force.

The biggest issue for me at the minute is the dentist. I hadn't been in years and eventually was forced to go about 6 months ago with an abscess. It was the most terrifying ordeal of my life. My dentist was wonderful though, but we never discussed my eating disorder. I am sure she knew though as my enamel is very thin and I needed a LOT of fillings. I went back to her every Thursday for weeks to get it all sorted and was determined afterwards to stop purging once and for all. Since then there had been a bit of improvement but not enough. I am fairly certain I have at least one more cavity which has developed in the last few months! I broke down earlier this week and told my fiancé everything. He is absolutely fantastic, and although he had known quite a bit about my problem, he hadn't realised the full extent which is shocking. He is being extremely supportive, but with my wedding fast approaching I am terrified that I won't be able to beat this thing with his support alone. I feel I can't tell my family so instead he is going to come with me to the GP this week and also to the dentist- I am going to a new one as I can't bring myself to go back to my last one out of sheer embarrassment and shame- and I am going to tell the dentist from the outset that I am bulimic, something I hope I'll be strong enough to do with my fiancé there.

I read someplace that eating disorder sufferers often have children who develop eating disorders too. I love kids and want to start a family after I get married but am terrified that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant that I wont have conquered my problems in order to have a healthy pregnancy for my baby, that I will someday pass on this awful illness to him/her, and that I have damaged my own physical health so much that my own life may be cut short!

This is a long post I know, but I feel that you have reached out to others like yourself and am hoping that, like you, I can get some help from talking to others. I am not on the road to recovery yet, I have yet to manage a full week without purging, but I am determined now more than ever to try. Best of luck to you with recovery!!! It is my aim to post again sometime, hopefully having recovered from this dreadful illness. Thanks for reading!