Jokes by stand-up comedians that have been done to death

Welsh Megaman

Heard a stand-up comedian on the radio the other day (didn't catch his name) who 'dissected' the song 'Ironic' by Alanis Morrisette as part of his routine - noting that the things she mentions aren't actually ironic, the punchline being the fact a song called 'Ironic' with non-ironic situations is in itself ironic.

:rolleyes: I rolled my eyes back so far, I snapped my optic nerves. Practically every comedian, from Sean Hughes to Ed Byrne to Abie Philip Bowman to Jo Brand, has talked about 'Ironic' in their routine, to the point where it is no longer funny.

Also jokes about 'Bully's Special Prize' in 'Bullseye' always being a speedboat.

Done. To. Death.

So boardsies, what topics have comedians told waaaaaay too many times, and should never be discussed again?

fryup

Billy Connolly and the prostate gag, funny first time but now..nah

ArnoldJRimmer

Bono: 'Every time I click my fingers, a child in Africa dies'
Person in crowd: 'well stop doing it then'

matt-dublin

Your ma's been done to death by stand ups

The Backwards Man

Two men walk into a bar.

You'd think one of them would have seen it.

SV

No joke has been done to death imo, the delivery of a joke is the most important part.

AnonoBoy

Jokes about optic nerves snapping.

Sub-McIntrye stuff really.

Bipolar Joe

Routines about the Iraq War and George Bush. I'm amazed, this far on, it still happens. Women joking about their children and how their husbands can't do a something. Get a new schtick, you lazy assholes. Tommy Tiernan doing pretty much anything, and that annoying idiot that does the hilarious impressions.

Panthro

Des Bishop and his "Did you remember to turn off the Immersion?" routine.

Aquagakka

Air travel.

Allyall

Ed Byrne appearing on Quiz/Panel shows.

Done to Death after the first time.

The Superman/Drugs Joke. - "Its not the drugs, it's the idiots. If they thought they could fly, why not take off from the ground?"

In fairness, I have only ever seen a couple of unknowns repeat it on Mr. Hicks, (One on that cráp Sky One 'Comedy' show), One on Channel 4 - Possibly the same guy and i didn't recognise him.
And a guy in Cork at some show.

But it should never be repeated by a professional anyway.

Karl Stein

Where's me washboard, eh?

Allyall

Oh oh oh!!

Anyone that does an impression of somebody from the Country, and makes him a dirty old man, or her unwashed..

Jaysis.. If anything has been done to death and dug up and done to death again, it's that.

Timmyctc

Female comedians doing routines about basically how they are women. Jo-Brand and her routines about being a fat woman. Oh. The comedians from Africa or Asia who base their routines on as much.

keith16

What's the deal with airplane food?

Sir Osis of Liver.

Brendan Grace hasnt changed his routine since the early eighties.(Bottler,Drunken father of the bride,priest,etc.)

Although he was funny in Fr.Ted in fairness.

Andersonisgod

keith16 wrote: »

What's the deal with airplane food?

Ye I know, but seriously, what is the deal with airline food?

Sir Osis of Liver.

"Snakes on a Plane,
I wonder what thats about?"

keith16

Andersonisgod wrote: »

Ye I know, but seriously, what is the deal with airline food?

I can never open the packet of peanuts. And those little trays they give you?

Smeggy

Karl Spain..

I'm fat because every time I rode your mother she gave me a biscuit....
I've been single now for about four stone....

lkionm

Smeggy wrote: »

Karl Spain..

I'm fat because every time I rode your mother she gave me a biscuit....
I've been single now for about four stone....

He is a regular where I work and got his coffee and asked;

'You know the way you have whole milk and skinny milk there'
'Yeah?'
'Is the whole milk from a hole in the ground'


We then joked about customers being spastics, he was leaving and he came over to me and said he only realised I called him a spastic when he sat down.


Nice enough guy apart from that really bad joke.

Sir Osis of Liver.

lkionm wrote: »

He is a regular where I work and got his coffee and asked;

'You know the way you have whole milk and skinny milk there'
'Yeah?'
'Is the whole milk from a hole in the ground'


We then joked about customers being spastics, he was leaving and he came over to me and said he only realised I called him a spastic when he sat down.


Nice enough guy apart from that really bad joke.

He sounds like he could do with a punch in the face.

frag420

Take my wife for example!!

No seriously, take her!!

Nelson Mandela

Don't you hate pants...?

AnonoBoy

Timmyctc wrote: »

Oh. The comedians from Africa or Asia who base their routines on as much.

As opposed to all the Irish comedians who base their comedy around being from Ireland?

"IT'S MAD CAUSE IT'S IN IRELAND!!! WE'RE IRISH, SURE WE'RE MAD. THEY DON'T DO MAD THINGS LIKE US IN EUROPE, BUT WE DO CAUSE WE'RE MAD, CAUSE WE'RE IRISH!" etc. etc.

lkionm

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

He sounds like he could do with a punch in the face.

I told him he shouldn't quit the day job due to his bad milk joke.


If I am ever at his gig and he uses that joke I will run down and shove a steam arm up his nose and lobotomise him.

gobnaitolunacy

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Brendan Grace hasnt changed his routine since the early eighties.(Bottler,Drunken father of the bride,priest,etc.)

Although he was funny in Fr.Ted in fairness.

Why should he?
His core audience are senior citizens who don't like change.

Chabals Beard

Brendan Grace does not know the meaning of "new material"

efb

Panthro wrote: »

Des Bishop and his "Did you remember to turn off the Immersion?" routine.

Anyone and that rucking immersion gag.

efb

gobnaitolunacy wrote: »

Why should he?
His core audience are senior citizens who don't like change.

God bless alzheimer's

knucklehead6

The one that EVERY Irish comedian was doing during the Foot & Mouth crisis a few years back.

They'd start off into a rant about drugs getting into the country and guns getting into the country and illegal immigrants getting into the country and how nothing could be done about closing the border or monitoring the coastline or watching at the airports...

1 f*cking lamb gets an itchy hoof and BOOM the entire country closes borders and everything else.

boobar

Take my wife...no please take her....

That one never gets old.....actually it does.

EyeSight

anything to do with Michael Jackson being black or a pedophile. not done as much anymore but it got old fast about 10 years ago.
Also priests being pedophiles.
those jokes got so old and predictable. Always found them cheap and i still do

I am pie

Stevie Wonder blind gags. "have you seen Stevie Wonder's new blah de blah"

Instant hanging offence.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Oh yeah,and that desperately unfunny Kielty fella with his Low Fat IRA "joke".

lost in cork

I gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for Xmas he said it was the most violent book he had ever read

Timmyctc

AnonoBoy wrote: »

As opposed to all the Irish comedians who base their comedy around being from Ireland?

"IT'S MAD CAUSE IT'S IN IRELAND!!! WE'RE IRISH, SURE WE'RE MAD. THEY DON'T DO MAD THINGS LIKE US IN EUROPE, BUT WE DO CAUSE WE'RE MAD, CAUSE WE'RE IRISH!" etc. etc.

Do we really have that many? Thought it was just Tiernan and Bishop and both of them are effectively done as comedians in the eyes of the most.

Kielty used to base his entire gig around the 'RA and NI but recently his stuff has been funnier and less NI-centric.

Sofaspud

Panthro wrote: »

Des Bishop and his routine.

FYP

He's been living in Ireland for at least 23 years now, you'd think he'd have gotten used to the differences between Ireland and America.

Nelson Mandela

Most comedians routines can be summed up in one sentence

John Bishop - I've got a Liverpool accent.
Peter Kay - Who remembers stuff from 1986?
Tommy Tiernan - I'm from Navan and I used to go to mass.
Michael McIntyre - I went to a dinner party last night, then had awkward sex with my wife.

Bears and Vodka

Dara O'Briain and the Bible. But in fairness to him he makes up new stuff about the Bible quite often so eh fair play to him I guess.

Agricola

Karl Spain was in two gigs I saw in Kilkenny in consecutive years. In both he did the "If you don't know who the fúcking egit is in your group of friends, you're the fúcking egit!" routine.

And no, I didnt get a refund!

Apart from that hes a sound fella and a great commentator of bad football.

TheBody

Bashing the church routines. Done to death.

efb

Agricola wrote: »

Karl Spain was in two gigs I saw in Kilkenny in consecutive years. In both he did the "If you don't know who the fúcking egit is in your group of friends, you're the fúcking egit!" routine.

And no, I didnt get a refund!

Apart from that hes a sound fella and a great commentator of bad football.

You went to a Karl Spain gig???? Twice????

Standman

Sofaspud wrote: »

FYP

He's been living in Ireland for at least 23 years now, you'd think he'd have gotten used to the differences between Ireland and America.

Plenty of Irish people love to hear how 'mad' we are compared to those from other countries. Des Bishop taps right into that.

Agricola

efb wrote: »

You went to a Karl Spain gig???? Twice????

He was one of the four comics who was doing the gig, both years. Had to put up with him to see someone else!

efb

Eddie Murphy's homophobic jokes.

Nelson Mandela

efb wrote: »

Eddie Murphy's homophobic jokes.

Especially coming from someone who was caught picking up a tranny brasser

efb

Nelson Mandela wrote: »

Especially coming from someone who was caught picking up a tranny brasser

Methinks the lady doth protest to much...

AnonoBoy

Timmyctc wrote: »

Do we really have that many? Thought it was just Tiernan and Bishop and both of them are effectively done as comedians in the eyes of the most.

Frequent a few comedy clubs around Dublin and you'll see a lot of the mad Irish stuff being trotted out. Sometimes it's done well, a lot of the time it's lazy and boring.

Bears and Vodka wrote: »

Dara O'Briain and the Bible. But in fairness to him he makes up new stuff about the Bible quite often so eh fair play to him I guess.

Never heard O'Briain do anything on the Bible and I've seen him live about 5 times.

artanevilla

Dara O'Briain. "funny statement eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Duckworth_Luas

Female comedians who base their entire routine around their mothers!