Finding a Priest

BizzyC

Hey guys,


OH and I are getting married next year in Leitrim, but are having trouble with the ceremony.

She'd like to have a ceremony in a church (I'm atheist so less worried), but every church we contact requires we provide our own solemniser.

So my question is this, how do you go about finding a priest who can marry you in a church when you're living in another country?


PS, we've looked into the humanist option, but given they can't legally marry you we've decided against it.

tatli_lokma

Humanists will more than likely be approved by next year.

I assume the reason that a lot of parishes won't provide the priest, is because they want to have met with you and for you to have completed a pre-marriage course. If you are both coming from abroad this might not be possible so they say bring your own priest.

What about a civil ceremony in a nice setting? We had ours in a stately home which gave it the 'wow' factor.

Or another option might be the unionist church on Stephen's green - they seem to be a lot more flexible than the catholics!

howamidifferent

BizzyC wrote: »

how do you go about finding a priest ....

Try Portlaoise prison.

goz83

Perhaps her local priest could get in touch with a priest in Leitrim and ask a favour? Leitrim is a very closed off society in my experience. You might get lucky in Carrick-on-Shannon though. Your other option is to "bring your own priest". Personally I think going to the registry office is the best option. It's quick, requires little prep work and you don't need to take a marriage course, which imho is a load of boloney.

Moonbeam

could you bring your local priest?

?Cee?view

Little Ted wrote: »

Or another option might be the unionist Unitarian church on Stephen's green - they seem to be a lot more flexible than the catholics!

The Unionists mightn't be as welcoming

Jellybaby1

Little Ted wrote: »

.......Or another option might be the unionist church on Stephen's green - they seem to be a lot more flexible than the catholics!

It’s the Unitarian Church on St. Stephen’s Green. Coincidentally there was a service from this church on RTE yesterday morning and you can see it on RTE Player here: http://www.rte.ie/player/ie/show/10155741/ you might like to check it out. This is the church website: http://www.dublinunitarianchurch.org/life-events/weddings/

In case you're wondering, I've no connection with the church. I watched the service out of interest, but it's not for me.

BizzyC

Thanks for the replies guys.

Unfortunately we dont have a "local priest" to bring.
I obviously dont have any attachment to one, and the priest she would have thought of in this situation has retired...

January

Check here for a list of registered solemnisers in Ireland that can perform ceremonies for you. Some of them are priests, you can contact and see who will do it for you.

tatli_lokma

churchview wrote: »

The Unionists mightn't be as welcoming

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

It’s the Unitarian Church on St. Stephen’s Green. Coincidentally there was a service from this church on RTE yesterday morning and you can see it on RTE Player here: http://www.rte.ie/player/ie/show/10155741/ you might like to check it out. This is the church website: http://www.dublinunitarianchurch.org/life-events/weddings/

In case you're wondering, I've no connection with the church. I watched the service out of interest, but it's not for me.

DUH!!! bloody autocorrect strikes again!!!

Jellybaby1

Just clarifying.

BizzyC

To be honest, we've gone off the idea of a priest now (silent hurrah for me).

Every priest that we contacted was really snotty at the idea of people who don't have their own priest.

I really can't understand their attitude, they're desperate to have more people involved in the church but show contempt towards people who are doing their best to be involved....

I'm happy anyway, OH has decided she'd prefer the Humanist/Spiritualist route now.

Sunhill

The way it appears to me, the priests were deliberately but rudely pushing you towards the option you eventually chose.
If I were a priest being approached with a situation like this I'd run a mile. A church marriage is a sacred ceremony and I can't see why people who don't want to approach it as such want to get married in church. Or rather, I CAN see why: great background for photos; magnicent historic building, nice windows and statues, and a performing monkey in impressive vestments making everybody feel important.
You were doing the church no favours, they can see that you want nothing to do with the religious side of the marrige.

Jellybaby1

I'd go along with Sunhill to a certain degree. First of all lots of people who feel they do belong to a particular religion but never darken the doorstep, still feel the red carpet should be rolled out for them for weddings, so I can see where the priest's attitude is coming from on that score. On the other hand, the priest should be looking at it as an opportunity to welcome them in and he should also consider the children that couple will produce and therefore increasing the numbers of the faithful, if you like in years to come. Thirdly, there are other Christian churches that may have been happy to welcome you in but maybe that might be a step too far for your partner if she is still strongly Catholic. Best wishes, whatever you decide to do, just be happy.

tatli_lokma

Sunhill wrote: »

great background for photos; magnicent historic building, nice windows and statues, and a performing monkey in impressive vestments making everybody feel important.

Ah, if only more people realised that you can have all of the things you mentioned above (bar the vestments) for a civil or secular wedding! Lots of magnificant venues have been approved for civil and secular weddings so you don't have to compromise on these things anymore. Promising your future children's souls to the catholic church is too high a price for me for a nice venue - especially when a secular/civil venue can be got that equals and in many cases outdoes the grandeur of a church wedding.

But each to their own!

BizzyC

Sunhill wrote: »

You were doing the church no favours, they can see that you want nothing to do with the religious side of the marrige.

I didn't, but my OH did. She's a catholic, I'm not.

TBH, she's fairly pissed off with the church after talking to some of the priests.
In fairness, how many people out there know their priests personally?
The only priest she did know is retired and too old to travel, the priest who replaced him doesn't know her cause we live in London now.
Why is that reason for priests to talk down to her and get pissy with someone who wanted to involve the church?