Negative pregnancy test but why am I disappointed?

LegacyUser

I'm not looking for medical advice or for any lectures on unplanned pregnancies etc. I'm really hoping to hear from people who understand what I'm feeling and perhaps then feel better about the situation.

Myself and my boyfriend have been together 6 months. Not very long I know. We recently went away on holiday and I forgot my pill. Now I know we could have used condoms but we didn't and it was only when we were back home and in our normal routine that we began to wonder if I had become pregnant over the trip. I was certain I had. I started having unusual symptoms but of course, this could have been 100% related to coming off the pill without finishing the pack. My period normally comes 3 days after I take the last pill except this time. The missed period along with the sore breasts, getting up to use the loo twice in a night and a weird throbbing down low in my tummy made me almost sure I was pregnant. I took a few tests and all were negative but again since I was feeling different I assumed that 10 days after ovulation was too soon to get an accurate result. Then today I got my period.

I should be happy because I know it's too soon for a baby and it would have been totally unplanned but I must admit that deep down I am a tiny bit disappointed. I know if the test were positive I would have felt worried/anxious etc but I think because I was so certain I had conceived I had began to allow my thoughts to humour the idea of having a baby too much.

I know this is really stupid and I shouldn't be feeling bad. But I do. Has anybody felt this way about a potential unplanned pregnancy?

ShaShaBear

Don't worry hen, it's not as unusual as you think

Has happened me a few times, most recently just before Christmas. I had completely missed my period despite finishing all my pills, and on day 8 when I was due to go back on them I started getting sore breasts, very thirsty and a lot of bathroom urges. My mother advised I do not go back on the pill until I get my period, so that I would maintain regularity. One week into waiting, and I started waking up feeling very ill, and constantly smelling eggs. Now mind you, myself and OH are together a bit longer, and engaged, so while the timing would have been awful, neither of us would have been disappointed.

Like you, after the missed period I had pretty much convinced myself I was expecting, and over the following week I had come to accept and then relish the idea. Needless to say I was quite upset when the doctor told me I wasn't pregnant There were tears, and I was very disappointed, but once it passed I was quite thankful, as like I said the timing was abysmal.

Just take it as a lesson learned, and be more careful next time. Taking risks like that with your fertility and contraception is best left to a relationship where you and your partner are at least on the same wavelength when it comes to surprise babies :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Thank you Sashabear for the reply. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this feeling. I think one of the reasons I began to imagine my life with a new baby was because my boyfriend was really good about the whole thing, in fact just yesterday he was googling when to test for the most accurate results and he was definitely not unhappy about the idea. He feels a bit disappointed too but we both know it's a stupid way for us to be feeling. It's just I was so sure I felt different. I suppose it is what it is. It definitely is a wake up call though.

Thanks for the response.

ShaShaBear

thankssashabear wrote: »

Thank you Sashabear for the reply. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this feeling. I think one of the reasons I began to imagine my life with a new baby was because my boyfriend was really good about the whole thing, in fact just yesterday he was googling when to test for the most accurate results and he was definitely not unhappy about the idea. He feels a bit disappointed too but we both know it's a stupid way for us to be feeling. It's just I was so sure I felt different. I suppose it is what it is. It definitely is a wake up call though.

Thanks for the response.

Well look at the bright side then - you've learned that you have a very informative and supportive partner, who was very well aware of his equal part to play in your almost-accident, and he isn't against children. It's very comforting information in the long run
Ironically, a lot of pregnancy symptoms are actually identical to ovulation and menstrual symptoms. And if you are like most women and know all the pregnancy symptoms, it's very easy to develop what I like to call "Localised Hypochondriasis" (very swanky, I know :rolleyes: ). You work yourself into such a tizzy about the symptoms that they start to manifest. Next time you have sore or tired eyes, get really worked up about how it will turn into a headache, and you'd be surprised by how quickly you'll need painkillers

Lola18

I've also had that feeling of disappointment on a negative test. For four weeks I done a test each week thinking maybe it had just been too early to test and actually hoping that was the case.
I think I had just convinced myself that the signs were pregnancy and actually got excited about it. I was only 19 at the time and like you on the pill (i had to take antibiotics and didnt use extra protection) i also had a very supportive partner who was also a little disappointed. Your definatly not alone in your feelings.

LegacyUser

I could almost have written this myself. With himself almost a year and things are far from ideal timing wise, but I'm currently 11 days late and doctor assured me on Friday that I'm not actually pregnant and its just a pesky cyst.

I know I should be happy but I feel disappointed a bit too - which is silly, because I totally would have freaked out and it would have been really, really hard... but I think we're singing from the same hymn sheet.