I've Lost The Feckin Remote

The Backwards Man

I'm all set up here, laptop on my lap, eight bottles of heineken beside me, three bags of tayto cheese and onion, bowl to be sick in, po to piss in, and now I can't find the fecking remote for the TV.:(

What should I do? Ring SKY?

Mr.Prodston

Go home OP you're drunk....oh wait :eek:

mad turnip

some sky boxes have the buttons on the front use them!

Micky Dolenz

It's down the side of the sofa.

toastedpickles

Can I suggest maybe, looking for it?

Peregrine

My granda told me that back in his day they had buttons on TV

And they would somehow get up and use the buttons to control the TV

lost in cork

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The Backwards Man wrote: »

I'm all set up here, laptop on my lap, eight bottles of heineken beside me, three bags of tayto cheese and onion, bowl to be sick in, po to piss in, and now I can't find the fecking remote for the TV.:(

What should I do? Ring SKY?

press select on the set box 8 times the remote should beep

El Guapo!

Have you tried looking in the last place you'd look? People say that's where they find things.

The Backwards Man

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

It's down the side of the sofa.

Thanks Micky, I found three euro, a lighter and a Metrocard for the NY subway, but I still can't get Babestation off the telly.

Pretzill

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I'm all set up here, laptop on my lap, eight bottles of heineken beside me, three bags of tayto cheese and onion, bowl to be sick in, po to piss in, and now I can't find the fecking remote for the TV.:(

What should I do? Ring SKY?

It's left of the third bag of crisps, before the sick bucket not as far as the po...mind don't knock over the beers...

efb

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Thanks Micky, I found three euro, a lighter and a Metrocard for the NY subway, but I still can't get Babestation off the telly.

use the pad on the digibox- after you wash your hands

The Backwards Man

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I'm all set up here, laptop on my lap, eight bottles of heineken beside me, three bags of tayto cheese and onion, bowl to be sick in, po to piss in, and now I can't find the fecking remote for the TV.:(

What should I do? Ring SKY?

A po to piss in?? you're not wearing a string vest by any chance are you ?

The Backwards Man

efb wrote: »

use the pad on the digibox- after you wash your hands

Every time I try to get near the box I get distracted though, damn Babestation. I'm on the phone to sky as I speak, see if the can remotely turn my telly over to Only Fools And Horses or something.:)

GLaDOS

Have you checked your pocket?

endacl

Have you a long stick handy, OP? Or somebody you can shout at to come in and change the channel?

The Backwards Man

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Have you checked your pocket?

Yeah, my pocket is still here. No remote though.:(

The Backwards Man

endacl wrote: »

Have you a long stick handy, OP? Or somebody you can shout at to come in and change the channel?

Na, I live alone. The only contact I have with the outside world is my boardsie friends, Elton John on Spotify, and two Babestation hotties on Channel 909.:(

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Na, I live alone. The only contact I have with the outside world is my boardsie friends, Elton John on Spotify, and two Babestation hotties on Channel 909.:(

Will you stop making out that you want to change away from babestation, you're fooling no one!

Dr.MickKiller

Ring it.

The Backwards Man

Dr.MickKiller wrote: »

Ring it.

What, the remote or Babesation? €2.95 per minute!! I might be drunk but I'm not silly!

Capt'n Midnight

Nimrod 7 wrote: »

My granda told me that back in his day they had buttons on TV

And they would somehow get up and use the buttons to control the TV

Or get the kids to do it

or get a fing-longer

The Backwards Man

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Or get the kids to do it

or get a fing-longer

My Granda used to use his walking stick to change channel, he wouldn't have needed it if they had Babestation in his day.:pac:

Glico Man

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Or get the kids to do it

or get a fing-longer

He may be mad, but he's also a genius.

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071229220022/en.futurama/images/a/a8/Finglonger.jpg

Jordan 199

Would the remote be under a newspaper or something OP?

The Backwards Man

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Would the remote be under a newspaper or something OP?

Na, I don't buy newspapers. I have a Delia Smith cookbook and a copy of Kama Sutra but it's not under either of those.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Senna

Have you checked the fridge?

petes

Say a prayer to St. Anthony.

The Backwards Man

Senna wrote: »

Have you checked the fridge?

Yep, full of beer, cheese and strawberry yoghurt. Perfect for a session, no good for watching Deadliest Catch.

Capt'n Midnight

petes wrote: »

Say a prayer to St. Anthony.

Nah, I reckon at this stage it's time to get St Jude on the case.

The Backwards Man

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Nah, I reckon at this stage it's time to get St Jude on the case.

I was a hopeless case long before I lost the remote.:pac:

The Backwards Man

Found it!!

It was in the turf bucket.

Mods, mark this thread as resolved or something, and me as wrote off. Hic!!

Night Night all. Sweet dreams xoxox:)

wil

Did a bit of background checking to see if I could help.
If its not in the vacuum cleaner, better search miss dolly.
BTW, re Delia Smith and the kama sutra (not the movie) never repeat never make the mistake of mixing those two books up or you risk the worst food poisoning you could imagine.

Post findus
2 mins 2 late, advice still stands

IM0

well the solution is simple really, if you cant watch the tv you want then you need to thrash that badboy so that no one else can watch it either. for this you will need steel toed doc martins and memories of something which annoyed you to the pointof turning red. channel these memories while wearing the doc martins [very important step] and standing [or sitting even?] very close, to the tv.
????????
profit....or loss depending on who owns the tv

stefan idiot jones

I had a friend in Wales years ago who was a nurse. One day this obese woman was rushed in with breathing difficulties.
During the time she was there she had to be fully evaluated, washed etc. etc. and thats when they found her remote control.
As well as the coins embedded in her skin they 'found' her TV remote control in her armpit where it had been since it was last seen some months previously.

Sorry if this puts people off their breakfast, but WHAT AN IMAGE.

Mint Sauce

The Backwards Man wrote: »

What, the remote or Babesation? €2.95 per minute!! I might be drunk but I'm not silly!

My uncle did this a few years ago when he couldn't find the remote. Only to ask the girls to cover up as the wife was due home any minute.

The Backwards Man

irish-stew wrote: »

My uncle did this a few years ago when he couldn't find the remote. Only to ask the girls to cover up as the wife was due home any minute.

Did they?

Everyone should have one of these.

Except me because it wouldn't go with my sofa.

The Backwards Man

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Everyone should have one of these.

Except me because it wouldn't go with my sofa.

Doesn't say if it's machine washable though.

Capt'n Midnight

http://lifehacker.com/5913888/velcro-remote-controls-to-a-coffee-table-for-easy-uncluttered-access

The reason most of us lose remote controls is because they don't have a specific place to go. They might end up on a coffee table, an end table, or just slide behind the couch. Redditor actusual was sick of losing remotes, so he stuck them to a coffee table with velcro.