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Cancerous Lick Outs

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    From reading that, it looks like he's got it licked......


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    EDIT: Damn you Tom! :pac:

    Douglas, the husband of Catherine Zeta Jones, continued: "I did worry if the stress caused by my son's incarceration didn't help trigger it. But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it."


    It's not so much a bombshell when you knew it was a possible risk already, so no, it won't be changing my oral sex activities.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    Don't really believe it, mainly because I'd had my tongue in places another fella wouldn't even put his welly, and I'm still grand.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭ITS_A_BADGER


    As long as the carpet doesnt smell you should be fine


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,401 ✭✭✭Royal Irish


    I never perform cunnilingus. Its very hard to do it when their legs are bound.

    Mod: Banned


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus."

    So, let me get this straight............... To infest Michael Douglas' throat, cancer is flying over to America using a West of Ireland airline?


  • Posts: 26,920 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Don't really believe it, mainly because I'd had my tongue in places another fella wouldn't even put his welly, and I'm still grand.

    Where wouldnt guys put their wellies ..?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,432 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Fcuk sakes op, thread title of the year.:p:p:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭Prodigious


    I don't perform cunnilingus until the 5th date. Don't want to look like a lickarse.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,217 ✭✭✭✭m5ex9oqjawdg2i


    I never perform cunnilingus. Its very hard to do it when their legs are bound.

    What a disgusting comment...


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Prodigious wrote: »
    I don't perform cunnilingus until the 5th date. Don't want to look like a lickarse.

    That could be considered a slip of the tongue.....:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Beer before you lick her, not as bitter.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    Beer before you lick her, not as bitter.
    Thrush risk though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭Prodigious


    That could be considered a slip of the tongue.....:D

    T'was a tongue in cheek comment :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Prodigious wrote: »
    T'was a tongue between cheeks comment :pac:

    FYP...:pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Beer before you lick her, not as bitter.

    Uh... the bitter taste is from urine, not her vagina.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    HPV [human papillomavirus]

    Theres a specialist consultant in this in Blackrock Clinic

    Dr. Ulic Magee


    ...I'll get me coat.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,003 ✭✭✭handlemaster


    I cant see the HSE sponsoring an tv ad campaign on the risks involved in oral sex. If they did what celebrity would put out for it....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,003 ✭✭✭handlemaster


    Uh... the bitter taste is from urine, not her vagina.

    or a bad wipe


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Beer before you lick her, not as bitter.
    Uh... the bitter taste is from urine, not her vagina.

    http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/al620Xh6yww/hqdefault.jpg


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,827 ✭✭✭Prodigious


    Uh... the bitter taste is from urine, not her vagina.
    or a bad wipe

    Awkward quota exceeded for this thread. I'm out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    Aw, After Hours you never let me down!

    Classy as ever ..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 294 ✭✭JD DABA


    Best opening ever.


    (by which I mean opening sentence....)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Uh... the bitter taste is from urine, not her vagina.

    Damn women! They are tricksy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,591 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Fcuk sakes op, thread title of the year.:p:p:p

    Nah, that Phil Lynott thread title won't be topped this year.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    Typical of Michael Douglas to blame the wimmin, the aul git. If he's trying to impy Catherine had HPV the chances are very high she got it from him in the first place.

    Some facts:
    HPV is very common in men. It's actually more difficult to test for in men than other STDs, even when they are having regular STD screening. How many bloke do you know who regularly get sexual health check-ups?
    One in ten men is infected with HPV and most of them have no idea they have it.
    Many men only find out about it because it's been detected in their female partners.
    Oral sex does not count as safe sex whether it's a blow job or a lickout. There is a huge list of STDs that can be passed on through oral, yet most people are unaware of the risks. How many people do you know who've even heard of a dental dam? I know loads of people who won't have sex without a condom but don't think twice about oral.
    The most common way for anyone to get infected with HPV is through vaginal intercourse. Condoms are less effective at preventing HPV transmission than they are with other STDs.
    This is exactly why all women need to be given the HPV vaccine as a matter of course just like other innoculations.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    Asked whether he ascribed his 2010 throat cancer diagnosis to a lifetime of drinking and smoking, Douglas instead put it down to something he caught off a woman instead.

    What a jewel of denial.....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,547 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    mikom wrote: »
    What a jewel of denial.....

    Catherine's into wimmins lib...

    if ye're not careful Micky will let the libber at ye......:pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    mikom wrote: »
    Asked whether he ascribed his 2010 throat cancer diagnosis to a lifetime of drinking and smoking, Douglas instead put it down to something he caught off a woman instead.

    What a jewel of denial.....
    Yep. It's not my fault for living an unhealthy life. I blame the missus. D*ckhead.

    It's worth noting that the overwhelming majority of sexually active adults have already been infected with HPV in one or other of its many variants.
    Not to panic though, because in most cases the body is able to get rid of it. What makes you less likely to shake off HPV is your lifestyle. Stress, diet, and in the case of throat-bound HPV, smoking, Michael.


    Moral of the story:
    1. Don't take medical advice from a f*cking actor
    2. HPV is no reason to fear cunnilingus.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,363 ✭✭✭Juniorhurler


    mikom wrote: »
    Asked whether he ascribed his 2010 throat cancer diagnosis to a lifetime of drinking and smoking, Douglas instead put it down to something he caught off a woman instead.

    What a jewel of denial.....

    well played.


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