Made a mistake, what to do

LegacyUser

Hi,

I need some advice on how to handle a situation. I know this is not huge in comparison to others problems. Basically was out with the bf and a gang the other night. My first mistake was I drank way too much. There's a gang of us that usually head out together and one or two might head to a different part of the club or get separated periodically throughout the night, no big deal. My bf and I got separated at one stage, think I may have went back to the gang of friends as I didn't like the part of the club my bf was in with other friends. Anyways I can't really remember the exact details, but my bfs bro starting giving out to me saying if I had any respect for him or something, i'd go outside to him and something was said about me dancing with some other fella and was all over him. The guy in question was in our company. I have no idea or recollection of dancing with him, I love to dance and have the crack, but obviously if I was hanging out of some guy that's not on. My bf couldn't say exactly what he meant by being all over him, aparrentely I was messing his hair or something. I know I automatically felt like I was accused in the wrong and went back inside. When I met with bf I was very angry with him, and pushed him and told him to get away from me, I couldn't stop crying either. The next day I still felt like i'd been accused in the wrong. Thing is I had too much to drink so I don't know what exactly happened. I am annoyed I let myself get so drunk and that I was so mean to bf. I'm afraid this will cause a rift with me and his little bro. I was thinking of texting his bro and apologising, just telling him that I would never wish to hurt his brother. I totally respect the fact that he was looking out for his brother. Then if I didn't do anything i'm apologising for nothing, what do I do? My bf and I are fine now, but I still feel crap about the whole situation.

djimi

Drunkenly dancing and messing with someone is hardly stepping out of line in fairness. It doesnt sound like you crossed a line, so Id be inclined to (in the nicest possible way) tell the brother to back off and mind his own business. Theres a danger he will end up making the situation worse with your bf than it needs to be if he exaggerates what was going on and makes it sound less innocent than it appears it was.

LegacyUser

djimi wrote: »

Drunkenly dancing and messing with someone is hardly stepping out of line in fairness. It doesnt sound like you crossed a line, so Id be inclined to (in the nicest possible way) tell the brother to back off and mind his own business. Theres a danger he will end up making the situation worse with your bf than it needs to be if he exaggerates what was going on and makes it sound less innocent than it appears it was.[/Q

I thought about that too, but the bf also said that I was all over him and when I said I was probably just messing, he said No it wasn't like that. I asked him why did he not say something to me and didn't really get an answer. I get on well with his brother so don't want to jeopardise that. I still feel crap for pushing my bf and getting so angry with him, but that's why the whole thing doesn't sit well with me, if that was my reaction i'm guessing I felt very much accused in the wrong. Even yesterday when I woke up, I felt quite hurt and upset.

Chucky the tree

If you can't remember what happened I wouldn't go accusing the brother of crossing the line or being over the top. I just forget and be careful of how much you drink next time.

djimi

Girlfriendgonebad wrote: »

I thought about that too, but the bf also said that I was all over him and when I said I was probably just messing, he said No it wasn't like that. I asked him why did he not say something to me and didn't really get an answer. I get on well with his brother so don't want to jeopardise that. I still feel crap for pushing my bf and getting so angry with him, but that's why the whole thing doesn't sit well with me, if that was my reaction i'm guessing I felt very much accused in the wrong. Even yesterday when I woke up, I felt quite hurt and upset.

Surely if you had gone too far then the brother would have told you as much instead of saying you were drunkenly dancing with someone and playing with his hair? It sounds like he saw something and is filling in the details in his head about what he thinks might have happened.

LegacyUser

Chucky the tree wrote: »

If you can't remember what happened I wouldn't go accusing the brother of crossing the line or being over the top. I just forget and be careful of how much you drink next time.

I had considered that alright, I wish my bf had of said it to me at the time, he hasn't clarified what exactly I did. I asked him did he trust me and he said, yes of course, so i'm totally confused. My reaction seems excessive for someone who had just been completely direspectful towards their bf. The whole thing just isn't sitting right with me.

LegacyUser

My bf and his bro seem fine with me, even more confusing. I guess I should just write it off but its annoying me as I don't know exactly what happened.