Whats the biggest lie you have told

Specialun

I was browsng linkedin few mins ago and came across a lad from works linkedin profile

His whole profile is complete lies.his exaggerated positions and given himself fantasy island job titles/roles.. His results are not first cousin of the truth..im even 95% sure he didnt even finish his college course..

If he was pinnochio his nose would give sarah jessica parker a right good run for her money

My question to AH is what lies have you told?

Think my biggest one was years ago with an ex after she questioned me on an empty condom wrapper she found on the floor..i told her a mate had pulled and wanted my double bed instead of his single as she was a big girl...

WinnyThePoo

Telling my current girlfriend i love her.

neaideabh

I'm Keyser Soze!

Senna

Not the worst lie;
12 years ago I was dating this girl for a month or two and we were out shopping one day, after arriving back to the car she said to open the boot and we'd put the shopping in it. I said "you don't want to look in the boot, my dog got run over last night and the blood stained towel was still in there".

12 years in the future she's my wife and the "story" of my dog getting run-over came up in conversation a couple of weeks ago. At the time of the story I didn't have a dog, there was no blood stained towel and I have no idea what was in the boot that I didn't want her to see. But the lie must continue.

Esoteric_

'Yes, of course I came.'

The Backwards Man

When I was 10, I stole beer from the fridge and blamed it on the dog. Stuck to my story for years afterwards.

Potential-Monke

I lied about getting mugged to get a day off work to play games!

Peregrine

I have read and accept the terms and conditions




It's not the biggest but it's the most frequent one

JonathanAnon

Interesting subject.. But I dont have time to post, as I'm meeting Heather Graham for a pint in the Mercantile..

KeithM89

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I lied about getting mugged to get a day off work to play games!

Did the same for gta4 but said it was for a funeral. Picked a name out of the obituary page in case the bossman looked it up.

Lithium93_

When i was younger, i had the habit of blaming someone else for something i did,

TheBegotten

"I swear judge, the money was just resting in my account!"
"Of course I've studied enough..."

lahalane

I said that €250 was taken from my bedroom when in reality I had lost it betting on Punchestown festival.

3ndahalfof6

I am 6ft 4, green eyes, and dark hair, their faces formed a shape which could only be described like, oncoming combustion, when they met the 5ft 2, bald guy , with no eyes.

Archeron

What's a fantasy island job title? Is he pretending he used to be a south American midget?

Cee-Jay-Cee

I was going out with a crazy bitch years ago and was desperate to get rid of her but she was such a nut job that she'd threaten suicide and all sorts if I ever tried to dump her so I had to figure out a way to get her to dump me so I had a massive fake 'heart to heart' with her one evening in which I told her that I had been contacted by an adoption agency that a son of mine who had been adopted at birth wanted to contact me. I went further (as i wanted everything out in the open) and told her I also had two other children by different mothers but had no contact with them but that they may try and contact me at some stage in the future. I left her to stew it over for a few weeks and anytime she' d ask me whether I was going to make contact with them (she wanted me to ignire it and have no contact) I'd get all defensive and shout that they were my children and that I would make the decision when I was ready and no one could influence my decision. After about 3 or 4 weeks I arrived home after a night shift and she'd packed her bags and moved out. She left me a big long letter explaining how she couldn't handle the fact that if we had children that they wouldnt be my only children and how she couldn't face my kids arriving on our doorstep unnanounced looking for me and so she was leaving. Result.

Specialun

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

I am 6ft 4, green eyes, and dark hair, their faces formed a shape which could only be described like, oncoming combustion, when they met the 5ft 2, bald guy , with no eyes.

Bet you didnt see that one coming

TheDB

CJC999 wrote: »

I was going out with a crazy bitch yearsand desperate to get rid of her but she was such a but job that she'd threaten suicide and all sorts if I ever tried to dump her so I had to figure out a way to get her to dump me so I had a massive heart to heart with her one evening in which I te her that I had been contacted by an adoption agency that a son of mine who had been adopted at birth wanted to contact me. I went further (as i wanted everything out in the open) and told her I also had two other children by different mothers but had no contact with them but that they may try and contact me at some stage in the future. I left her to stew it over for a few weeks and anytime she' d ask me whether I was going to make contact with them (sge wanted me to ignire it and have nocontact) I'd get all defensive and shout that they were my children and that I would make the decision when I was ready and no one could influence my decision. After about 3 or 4 weeks I arrived home after a night shift and she'd packed her bags and moved out. She left me a big long letter explaining how she couldn't handle the fact that if we had children that they wouldnt be my only children abd how she couldn't face my kids arriving on out doorstep looking for me with out warning and so she was leaving. Result.

Jesus you sound like the loony one.

Specialun

CJC999 wrote: »

I was going out with a crazy bitch yearsand desperate to get rid of her but she was such a but job that she'd threaten suicide and all sorts if I ever tried to dump her so I had to figure out a way to get her to dump me so I had a massive heart to heart with her one evening in which I te her that I had been contacted by an adoption agency that a son of mine who had been adopted at birth wanted to contact me. I went further (as i wanted everything out in the open) and told her I also had two other children by different mothers but had no contact with them but that they may try and contact me at some stage in the future. I left her to stew it over for a few weeks and anytime she' d ask me whether I was going to make contact with them (sge wanted me to ignire it and have nocontact) I'd get all defensive and shout that they were my children and that I would make the decision when I was ready and no one could influence my decision. After about 3 or 4 weeks I arrived home after a night shift and she'd packed her bags and moved out. She left me a big long letter explaining how she couldn't handle the fact that if we had children that they wouldnt be my only children abd how she couldn't face my kids arriving on out doorstep looking for me with out warning and so she was leaving. Result.

Haha.class.you should try getting a part in fair ****ty

3ndahalfof6

Specialun wrote: »

Bet you didnt see that one coming

My dog told me all about it, as he laughed with the cat and gold fish.

Cee-Jay-Cee

TheDB wrote: »

Jesus you sound like the loony one.

If you knew her you'd understand how desperate I was. It took me nearly a year to come up with that story (at the time) as I knew it had to be something that would really effect her having sussed out how she felt about having children etc etc

3ndahalfof6

CJC999 wrote: »

If you knew her you'd understand how desperate I was. It took me nearly a year to come up with that story (at the time) as I knew it had to be something that would really effect her having sussed out how she felt about having children etc etc

New kids names to be entered into the, new kids name book.

humbert

My name's not really humbert.

pharmaton

Told a guy I was gay (more than one) so he would leave me alone, hooked up with a bi friend just to make sure he got the message and haven't looked back yet. Don't think I ever will either.

3ndahalfof6

humbert wrote: »

My name's not really humbert.

Hi, not really humbert.

Wedgie

I only have one account on Boards.

MrStuffins

pharmaton wrote: »

Told a guy I was gay (more than one) so he would leave me alone, hooked up with a bi friend just to make sure he got the message and haven't looked back yet. Don't think I ever will either.

You mean he could still be behind you?

3ndahalfof6

Wedgie wrote: »

I only have one account on Boards.

Let me guess you love oak.

pharmaton

MrStuffins wrote: »

You mean he could still be behind you?

He still haunts me but yeah for as long as he's alive I'll happily be the gayest women ever.

Cee-Jay-Cee

pharmaton wrote: »

Told a guy I was gay (more than one) so he would leave me alone, hooked up with a bi friend just to make sure he got the message and haven't looked back yet. Don't think I ever will either.

So your bi friend turned you gay??? I thought gay people were born gay and it wasn't something that could be forced or influenced but it seems not. I shall never speak to a gay person again in case they try and turn me into one of them, what would my wife say!!!

pharmaton

CJC999 wrote: »

So your bi friend turned you gay??? I thought gay people were born gay and it wasn't something that could be forced or influenced but it seems not. I shall never speak to a gay person again in case they try and turn me into one of them, what would my wife say!!!

There's a little bit of gay in everybody I found it where I wasn't expecting it.

3ndahalfof6

pharmaton wrote: »

There's a little bit of gay in everybody I found it where I wasn't expecting it.

Your arm pit?

MrStuffins

pharmaton wrote: »

There's a little bit of gay in everybody I found it where I wasn't expecting it.

Are you saying i'll have a bit of gay in me where I won't expect it?

Is that a threat?

pharmaton

close

dd972

The boom is getting boomier

Jojo15

My big lie was sleepin with someone on my ex and when he found out something was up I lied and just said it was a kiss and now it all came out were finished and it got me no where because I'm in the biggest confusion and messed up place now never lie and specialy too someone you love and never cheat .. I learned from my mistakes lying gets you no where and everyone finds out the truth sooner or later

wandatowell

Jojo15 wrote: »

My big lie was sleepin with someone on my ex and when he found out something was up I lied and just said it was a kiss and now it all came out were finished and it got me no where because I'm in the biggest confusion and messed up place now never lie and specialy too someone you love and never cheat .. I learned from my mistakes lying gets you no where and everyone finds out the truth sooner or later

tbh that hurt my head

MrStuffins

Jojo15 wrote: »

My big lie was sleepin with someone on my ex and when he found out something was up I lied and just said it was a kiss and now it all came out were finished and it got me no where because I'm in the biggest confusion and messed up place now never lie and specialy too someone you love and never cheat .. I learned from my mistakes lying gets you no where and everyone finds out the truth sooner or later

Hope Ur OK Hun xxxx

Stereomaniac

The biggest lie I ever told was the countless times I was unfaithful to girlfriends over the years.

Jojo15

wandatowell wrote: »

tbh that hurt my head

What u mean it hurt ur head?

Jojo15

MrStuffins wrote: »

Hope Ur OK Hun xxxx

Thank u I'm sure everything will fall into place there's a lot to my story then that little thing I wrote x

Mr Tibbs

I can say hand on heart I have never masturbated in my whole life. Honestly.

Stereomaniac

I lied for years to my parents and close family that I was not taking drugs and I drank normally.

COYVB

Jojo15 wrote: »

My big lie was sleepin with someone on my ex

How did he not notice that, eh?

NegativeCreep

"I'll only stick the tip in, I promise."

Stereomaniac

Are you referring to anal sex, and you reefed someone out of it without them expecting it prior?

NegativeCreep

Anal.

kraggy

Jojo15 wrote: »

What u mean it hurt ur head?

Your post has left us as weary and confused as your ex must've felt when he found out the bad news.

Punctuation; it makes things clearer.