If we arrive on an alien planet what would we do?

af_thefragile

If humans were to arrive on a planet that was already inhabited by an alien race that is fairly primitive and unsophisticated, what would we possibly do? Would we make friends with them and share our knowledge with them? Or would we, like we did on earth, plunder and try to colonise their planet?

We write many stories about how aliens try to invade earth through their technological sophistication. What is to say someday in the future we wont do the same to other planets as well??

scudzilla

Probably pick up a mobile and bitch about the signal

lahalane

**** their wives We suck...

How Soon Is Now

Have you seen some of the so called ''Earthlings'' going around these days.....

Ffs i think where already on another planet!!

Turtwig

Obey the Prime Directive.

Links234

Do what Kirk would do, sleep with 'em

endacl

We should stay well out of sight. From time to time we should trap one of the more stupid members, bring him back to our 'mothership', drug them, probe them, and shine bright lights in their face. They should only be trapped in isolated locations, at night, and returned to same. We'd have some craic watching them trying to convince the other aliens that it had happened at all!

WilyCoyote

Start singing songs about leaving Ireland

Pilotdude5

Check-in on Facebook

Sergeant

Reject their primitive beliefs in a higher power by giving them a reading from the Book of Dawkins.

Ihatecuddles-old

Pilotdude5 wrote: »

Check-in on Facebook

Damn it, was going to say that

WinnyThePoo

Hide all the mother f*cking honey!

wil

Set up a new Alien Planet forum in the Region - Abroad section of Boards

brokenarms

Miriam O'Callaghan

magick

Teach them our peaceful ways........by force

FionnK86

Start an after hours thread "I think an Alien fancies me", but ultimately crash and burn :S

endacl

We should start mining all their floaty island stuff. And blow up a big tree. And take far too long about it. In 3D.

Ihatecuddles-old

FionnK86 wrote: »

Start an after hours thread "I think an Alien fancies me", but ultimately crash and burn :S

Someone's bound to find a safe :pac:

endacl

We should make those freeloading alien feckers pay road tax. If they don't have roads, we force them to build roads. Then make them pay road tax.

Capt'n Midnight

Jernal wrote: »

Obey the Prime Directive.

They don't even obey it on Star Trek :rolleyes:

Wesley killed the flowers and don't even get me started on Voyager.


We don't have a manned space program. That leaves the USA, Russia and China. And they haven't covered themselves in glory down here when dealing with those with less economic, political or military clout.

Even if the ESA get there first, well look at how the rich countries make far more on interest payments on loans to Africa / transfer pricing from Africa (most of Zambia's copper is 'exported' to Switzerland and then sold for a profit) than is given back in Aid. And the whole WTO and unfair playing field when it comes to trade.

Kerplunk124

Make it with some hot alien babe..And, in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?

Senna

We'd start marking patterns in their corn fields.

Spread ourselves around.

The Backwards Man

Multigalacticulturalism, has it failed?

JD DABA

By then earth would be some kind of united planet.

We'd have to introduce ourselves, and since we have as much right to any part of the universe as any aliens it would be right that we announce our intention to claim this planet rightfully as ours by planting a united planet flag, or union flag as it would be known by then.

We'd then solidify our grasp on our new planet by planting individuals there to develop as some kind of native population in their own right, although infact they'd really only be a kind of tool for central command. We'll call them planters. They could make use of the alien peoples resources. Which would then become their own.

We're bound to have problems at some stage, but if things get to difficult we can negotiate with the aliens to keep only a certain portion of their planet, but we must make sure to set a border that will keep a human majority for some time.

Ultimately though in such a case our planted population would inevitably have to return control to the aliens who may rightfully treat them like shyte thereafter. But we'll be safe back in central command by then.

BillyMitchel

say another mass??

old_aussie

Put them on minimum wage, and to work in earths new salt mines.

Hownowcow

Five minutes after meeting them somebody would say something. Somebody else would shout "Racism" and same old same old.

REXER

Diss their beliefs and then import some kiddy fiddlers to convert them to christianity.

Son Of A Vidic

af_thefragile wrote: »

If humans were to arrive on a planet that was already inhabited by an alien race that is fairly primitive and unsophisticated, what would we possibly do?

Fight over something.

chughes

As I understand it, the NASA book on space travel states that if you meet an alien the standard opening statement is "take me to your leader".

Bigcheeze

af_thefragile wrote: »

If humans were to arrive on a planet that was already inhabited by an alien race that is fairly primitive and unsophisticated, what would we possibly do?

Sounds like Australia so we'd generally make a show of ourselves.

who the fug

make sure I am not wearing a red shirt

DEFTLEFTHAND

We'd corrupt it, We're a filthy race full of contradictions. eg....

I'm a man of honour, I swore the oath of omerta as the picture of Saint Joseph and the blood of my trigger finger burned in my hands. Now pay me or I'll put a bullet in your head!!

iDave

See if they've any decent footballers eligible for Ireland

Richard Hillman

We need to show them who is boss

limitedIQ

Call me cocky, but if there's an alien out there I can't kill, I haven't met him and killed him yet.

builttospill

There would obviously be so many amazing new things to experience but instead we would stick on the GAA jerseys and locate the nearest Irish pub.

Sin City

Introduce them to McDonalds and the Irish pub

wendell borton

We'd sell 'em whiskey and smallpox infected blankets.

mattjack

Look for Rent Allowance.

Anyone

Strip it of its natural resources, while all the time inflicting our ways and culture upon the inhabitants.

DublinArnie

Start abducting them at night and do krazy experiments on them.

Capt'n Midnight

Kerplunk124 wrote: »

Make it with some hot green alien babe..And, in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?

fyp

Peter The Pedo

Get my dick sucked by an alien babe.

bradlente

Die?

Peter The Pedo

bradlente wrote: »

Die?

Suit yourself mate, more alien babes for us.

FloatingVoter

We'd discover they hadn't discovered alcohol yet so we'd **** off somewhere that had a decent pub.

bradlente

Peter The Pedo wrote: »

Suit yourself mate, more alien babes for us.

Literally babe's in your case.Your way's may be common-place on an alien planet.
:P

Capt'n Midnight

FloatingVoter wrote: »

We'd discover they hadn't discovered alcohol yet so we'd **** off somewhere that had a decent pub.

In Alien Nation the aliens got drunk on sour milk. Lactic Acid most likely.



When the body metabolises glucose one of the molecules produced is pyruvate. We can convert it to lactic acid - it's what gives you a stitch - but yeast convert it to ethanol.

So yeah it's likely that simple metabolic intermediates that we can produce in industrial scale may have an effect on them.


In another story one ginger mimicked the lizards pheromones, and even down here there was research into a Gay Bomb
The irony is that it was the Sacred Band of Thebes who defeated the Spartans.

IrishExpat

Basing this on our species behaviour on our own planet, past and present:

far from sharing our technology or wanting to learn about them, we'd probably just enslave them, extract their resources against their will, take and divide up land and force some religion/belief system or doctrine upon them.

Humans are assholes.