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So so tired of being an addict

  • 24-05-2013 9:49am
    #1
    Sioni
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    I am tired of it, of them. Tired of feeling like I can't function unless I have my quota of cigarettes. They punctuate events. They push me in to doing things I don't want to do- 'I'll just have this cigarette and then I'll do whatever.'

    I don't want to be a smoker.

    However I am not ready to quit. I know I'm not ready. Yesterday i had a two hour quit. It was futile. I didn't prepare myself mentally. I'm trying to prepare myself now, which is why I'm on here.

    I still have fears. I fear I'll never be able to enjoy myself again, that the craving will never go away, I fear the initial withdrawal period. How will I relax at the end of the day without one?

    The worst part is I gave up for months last year when I became pregnant.
    Trying to remember how it felt like after a while of not being on them. I know I coped, but how?

    I guess I'm just trying to get a plan of action together.


Comments

  • #2
    Sioni
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭Sioni


    I'm trying to analyse how I feel when I have a cigarette, before during, and after. Trying to figure out what triggers my need for a cigarette.

    Went for an hour long walk. When I got back i thought I wanted a cigarette. (had been 3 hrs since my last one). I was also thirsty, and I know I sometimes confuse thirst with wanting a cigarette. Had some tea. That was another trigger, I always have a cigarette with some tea. Decided to have a cigarette even though I didn't have a physical craving for one. As soon as I lit it I knew I didn't want it. Smoked three quarters.

    That was about 10 mins ago, and despite not enjoying it, I now want another one. Weird.


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