Do you think society's attitude to homosexuality has changed you as a person?

eaglach

Do you think society's views on homosexuality, or perceived views, have changed you greatly in terms of your personality and overall life?

I grew up as a guy completely in the closet, avoiding any interactions with women, or men for that matter. Only in the past couple of years have I started to accept being gay. But this got me thinking, if I grew up in a society where homosexuality didn't have any negative connotations, my life would be entirely different.

I think being gay and in the closet has resulted in me being a bit of a shy and introverted person. I am less likely to speak about personal things or talk about problems that are bothering me for fear of judgement.

Conversely, I do not believe I would have done so well in school and college if I was "out" and it was generally accepted. I compare it to being straight - I think if I was straight I would be chasing girls, going out drinking every night of the week in college and in general spending less time focusing on studies. Basically I would be able to embrace dating life, which up until now I've missed out on entirely.

Has anyone else ever thought about this, the what ifs? Maybe I have too much time on my hands!

Soldering_Iorn

Meh, I would've been in the same kind of boat and have often thought the same as you, but I don't think it's worth dwelling on.

It's like anything in every aspect of life, what if I had of done different, what if this, what if that! You can't live your life on 'what ifs'.

It is interesting though!

AndrewJD

I think I'm a lot more socially liberal than I might otherwise have been. I'm far more tuned into women's and minority's rights, gender issues, transexual issues, marriage equality etc. I'm probably a lot more bullish on social issues just because I sit in a minority that is still not fully equal in society. If homosexuality was completely accepted I probably wouldn't be as aware or care as much about these sorts of things.

lyinghere

Yeah I think societies attitudes to homosexuality has a big impact on your personality. The thing is there are so many other things impacting on your personality too, your appearance, job, where you were raised, live, if you came from wealthy poor background etc. Sexuality is just one. Unfortunately the impacts do tend to be negative for those not out as you deal with coming out.

Overall though I don't think my personality would be that much different if I had of been straight and had not had to worry about societies attitudes. I reckon I would have been still mostly the same lad I am now. But maybe for last few years instead of stressing about coming out and letting those worries impact negatively on me I might have been in a relationship which potentially might have been impacting positively on my personality, who knows maybe that relationship might have been impacting negatively either. As mentioned above it does come down to what if's I guess, unfortunately this situation is kind of forced on us, we didn't have much choice in this and many are in closet because they worry about society attitudes.

It's only when we make a choice to come out to at least ourselves and not to let societies attitudes towards homosexuality impact on us anymore that we can start to let this aspect of our lives impact more positively on our personality. I think personalities are always changing slightly based on circumstances.

wonderfulname

I think I'm more vocal about, and engaged with, human and civil rights in general, although there are other influences in my life which would have contributed greatly to that as well.

L1011

I'd likely have gone to work in the UK instead of here had things stayed the same

Annasopra

Yes

I think I am much more interested in and focused on social justice as a result of my own experiences and general societal homophobia - I consider myself to be an egalitarian, socialist and feminist - I think if I wasn't gay I probably wouldn't have as strong a personal sense of social justice. When I was younger I was also very religious and conservative - I might possibly be still quite religious and conservative if I wasn't gay - I think it has also meant that the people that I am friends with are incredibly diverse - middle class, working class, people with influence, people with no influence, disabled people, immigrants, trans people, atheists, old people, young people - If I wasn't gay the vast majority of friends in my life would probably be what I call SCHWAM - Settled, Cisgender, Hetero, White Able Bodied Males.