Struggling to meet people

LegacyUser

I am 20yo guy and finding it really hard to meet new people especially girls. I'm not really a fan of night clubs as I find the whole scene like a bit of a game and it's difficult to talk to girls properly. I would be quite quiet and reserved when I don't know people which doesn't help at all.

Any one have any ideas or advice as I am out of ideas.

SebBerkovich

I would suggest taking up a hobby like Drama or a Yoga-like thing, something where a group of (sober) people are coming together as strangers.

boomchicawawa

As suggested already, you need to find your niche in life. A club of some sort, maybe tennis or sailing or a drama group. Have you thought of volunteering, many of my friends have met partners this way. I know lots of girls who bemoan their lack of dating opportunities so there are plenty out there. There is of course on-line dating, there are many free sites and you could have a trawl through these and just go out on fun nights to make friends. Best of luck !

ibarelycare

Check out meetup.com. There are loads various niche groups on there (groups for hiking, cycling, quizzes, languages, etc) but also more general groups, such as singles, people in their 20s, etc. You might find some things going on in your area that you are interested in and it could be a good way to meet new people!

LegacyUser

I've joined societies in college but didn't really get anywhere. Unfortunately, I am hugely shy when I'm around people I don't know and sort of socially awkward. I have a good group of friends although I find myself distancing myself from them as a lot of them are in relationships and I find it hard listening to them when I'm single. Just wish I could find someone. ( I'm well aware I sound desperate at this point!)

I'll give meetup.ie a go. Wouldn't be a fan of online dating not really sure why.

galwayjohn89

I would be similar to you regarding online dating. Not sure why, I would feel there is a stigma attached to it although I do think online is probably a very good place to meet people. I don't find clubs too good for meeting people properly, normally just go out have a good time but find it hard to talk to people and have a conversation with. Normally just load music and **** faced people.

Best thing I can say is just keep putting yourself out there in social situations. You can't force friendships. If you go out to have a good time and not with the sole aim of finding new friends you might find yourself having more fun

Esoteric_

There really isn't much of a stigma attached to online dating anymore. That said, I met the person I'm seeing now on boards, rather than on a dating site. :pac:

Online dating can be absolutely great, as many members of the Online Dating forum on boards can attest to, but it takes a very thick skin, and since you seem to be feeling a bit down at the moment, I don't think it'd be a great idea just yet for you anyway.

I'd go with what ibarelycare said and try meetup.com. Don't focus on relationships or girls, focus on finding more friends. Honestly, dating isn't the be all and end all. I was single by choice for about a year a while back and I loved every minute of it tbh. It's all about learning to be happy with the situation you're in. When you're happy, then if you want to change it, do. At least then it won't be changing it out of desperation, but with the knowledge that you want a healthy change, but can be happy with or without that change.