Mother with Alcohol issues

LegacyUser

My mother has suffered with chronic alcohol issues the last years

She is what some might call a functioning alcoholic but its got to the point now where I feel for her well being and general health. She is extremely thin. The family have decided to take action and would like to know what our steps are

She is extremely headstrong, insists she will stop herself but this is not an option at all.

I know the GP is the first port of call, but getting her there will be a real problem

Its a serious issue to ask for advice, but are there any alternative steps? Theres the option of getting a GP to the house, but they would surely not be used to someone who will simply not co-operate and refuses to acknowledge there is even a problem

Her health is definately in danger, we really don't know what to do

I've seen interventions and the like in the US, I wonder is this a real thing? someone professional is needed in this instance with such a serious issue

would anyone have such experience of something similar and be able to advise me from experience?

Thank you

username123

Yes, interventions are a real thing. I staged more than one and I got advice from AA and the Rutland Centre before I did it. Theres no guarantee it will help though but in my opinion you have to try everything.

Youre not going to like this but only the alcoholic can choose to change. You can drag them to doctors, do interventions, beg til youre blue in the face, but unless they want to stop drinking, they wont. You cant control it, you didnt cause it and you cant cure it. All the power regarding whether or not they drink is in their hands.

I would strongly advise the whole family to go to Alanon, there you will learn more about what you are dealing with and how not to enable the situation and how to cope.

I tried getting a GP to the house for an alcoholic in denial (it was my father) and the GP, in fairness to him, did a kind of pep talk and gave out to my father - but then told me that unless my father wanted help - nothing the GP can do.

My father at one point was admitted to hospital with alcoholic poisoning after collapsing in the street. He was dried out, pumped up with vit B and then a psych consultant came to interview him. She looked at the notes and said I see you had a blood alcohol level of whatever (very high) on Friday - he looked at her and said, totally straight, "there must be a mistake, I havent had a drink since last year". Thats how strong denial gets.

Back to the intervention - do speak to professionals like the Rutland Centre but a basic picture is that you do it when the person is sober. You collect up all concerned people - family, friends, anyone affected. The group must agree to stand strong and not back down because the first thing the alcoholic will do is deny everything, and possibly bully the people in the group and try to manipulate them. In our first intervention my father went after the weak link (a sister of his) and reduced her to tears by verbally insulting her etc...to the point she was so angry she lost the plot, forgot why we were there at all and ran crying from the house.

Everyone has to stay calm, and focused! Stick to the point, dont let the alcoholic change the subject. When they say "well what about your behaviour when you do whatever" you say "we are not here to talk about my behaviour".

Be prepared for them to agree with everything to stop the intervention. That was the end result of my first intervention, my father (after a lot of shouting etc) agreed we were all right, he was an alcoholic, he needed help etc... He agreed to go to the doctor the next morning. We were all so relieved, he walked away, upstairs and I heard a clink - ran up and he was chugging a litre of vodka - he never did go to the doctor btw.

Before going after the intervention Id say go to Alanon - you will get advice there too on doing it.

You cant do anything medically with an alcoholic in denial, there is no "lets get them committed under the mental health act until they see sense" - alcoholism is not seen as a mental illness but an addiction.

Im sure you will find out most of the above through your own investigations anyway. Best of luck, its a terrible disease.