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Irrational feelings towards my friends.

  • 19-05-2013 5:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm terrified of making contact with my friends.I love hanging out with them as a group,but when it comes to talking to them individually,I clam up.I can't bring myself to make a phone call to them and I feel so awkward trying to make conversation with them on Facebook or by text.

    I moved away from them last year,and have kind of lost contact with them as a result.I have this niggling feeling (which doesn't really have any rational basis) that they're glad to see the back of me. I've had these feelings ever since I've moved home and would get ridiculously upset when I thought about it.Strangest of all,when I did occasionally hear from them,I'd get so angry.When I got a thank you card from one of them,I started bawling and threw it away.I've blocked and unblocked them on Facebook a few times.While I'm no longer crying over them,my shyness over contacting them is still there.

    I guess the reason I'm writing now is because my birthday soon,and I'd like to invite them to stay and to catch up with them.I just can't bloody tell them that.I feel they won't be bothered if I do ask and that would be more upsetting than not seeing them at all. (I realise how ridiculous and self-centred all this sounds)Any advice on how to handle my feelings towards them?Should I try and make contact at all?


Comments

  • #2
    Strangerthings
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭Strangerthings


    Yes you should contact them and ask to meet up- try to repair the damage that has been caused. It sounds like you fell out of the loop becuase you moved away and know you feel like a bit of an outsider and you are taking this insecurity out on your friends.

    You need to try and repair the friendship if you want to keep these people in your life. t is very hard to make an entire new friend group. So talk to one or two of them that you are closest to and explain what you are feeling. If they are sympathetic towards your emotions then it is worth trying to salvage the friendship, if it feels like they are not that fussed maybe you would be best to move on.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yes, you should make contact and invite them over for your Birthday. Not to be flippant, but the ones who are bothered will come. The ones who aren't, you needn't worry about.

    I also think you need to get off facebook, because I bet you sit for hours going through their profiles, photos of nights out, and conversations with each other thinking 'look at them, they're having a great time without me, they don't miss me at all, they're better off without me' - am I right? You've put yourself outside the group and you feel like they've done that. They haven't.


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