Feeling sick over my situation

LegacyUser

So I'm in college and have finished my exams, and I think I many have failed a few. This is mostly down to me developing depression which I suffered from throughout the college year and still somewhat do, originating from what was then an undiagnosed underactive thyroid.

I'm afraid that I am going to have to repeat the year and it makes me physically sick because so many resources have gone into this year - its my second time in university and we had to pay fees and had to pay for accommodation, basically a big financial output. My parents see me as a bit of a waster I think, like I know in the past I have given them reason to think so, but this time it was genuinely different - but they don't really take my thyroid problem seriously, they are the type who would begrudge someone using that as an excuse, and I can live with that because they are good parents.

I feel like I have let them down and just feel terrible about myself. I'm annoyed that I have done this to them and I really don't know what to do. I am going to be getting extenuating circumstances with regards repeats but I don't know what I would do if I couldn't pass into second year. I am going to spend the entire summer catching up - I just pray that I can move on. If I don't pass the year it will kill them and severely damage our relationship I fear, and I just don't know what to do now.

Any advice or experiences would be beyond welcome.

Esoteric_

OP, have you spoken to a doctor with regards to getting a diagnosis/treatment for depression?

If you haven't, you need to do it. Colleges can be very, very good with these things, once it's all documented by a medical practitioner.

Look, if you fail, your parents will be angry. Of course they will, given what you've said about your college history. There's no point in saying that they'll be fine with it.

BUT, if you genuinely have depression, get a diagnosis, get treatment, and prove to them that you're ill and are striving to get better. That's all you can do right now. Also, cram over the summer for your repeats. Don't go out drinking, stay in studying. Get your grades up and you might not have to repeat the whole year.

Taltos

OP - definitely follow up as above with getting documented treatment and even ask for advice from your tutor. The college GP will have seen many cases of this and can best advise on how to inform your lecturers.

In terms of failing the exams - seriously don't sweat it - I failed exams every single year except for the final. Yes it messed with my summers but when I turned up for the re-sits I was amazed to see the huge number of students in the same boat - trust me - there will be plenty...
As to your parents - of course they will be upset - but stay calm and when you know you have failed for sure just let them know you are doing the resits along with a large % of the class. Takes guts to go back again and again - so don't give up.

Stavro Mueller

+1 to Esoteric_'s very sensible advice. You can still pull this situation out of the fire if you put your head down and hit the books. But please go get help and get in touch with your college.

As for your relationship with your parents, it's not going to damage it beyond repair. It probably will cause a bit of a wobble for a little while but they'll get over it and life will go on. It is true that some parents don't take problems like these seriously so all you can do is work around it as best you can.

If the worst comes to the worst and you do need to repeat the year, perhaps you should look into a Plan B. If your parents don't want to pay for fees/accommodation again, you could try taking a year out and getting a job to save up money (yes, I do know it's easier said than done but I'm throwing the idea out there for consideration).