What do you think?

Do you think the following is fair game or not on at all.

3 very attractive young women, 2 are in a relationship and 1 is not seeing anyone at the moment. They go out to a late bar, they get chatted up by 3 aul lads who they would never go near in a million years ( their description of them ) The men proceed to buy they drinks all night.

Next day they are chatting and laughing about this and think it hilarious that the men got them drink all night.

On the one hand I think its not on at all and the girls were basically using the men, on the other had the men couldn't be such eejits that they think the young women were really interested in them.

cantdecide

They don't know what those men were thinking. They can only surmise. They did know, however, they were leading these guys on...

I would be ashamed to call anyone that would do this my friend.

Chattastrophe!

Live and let live, in my opinion.

It's not something I'd do myself, whether single or in a relationship. But I wouldn't judge another woman for doing it - it's their own business. And I'm sure the men involved were well able to look after themselves, and they're free to spend their money as they wish.

December2012

I think it's a bit scangery on both sides tbh.

meeeeh

The old men had middle age crisis written on their foreheads and girls came across as gold diggers (the desperate kind). No harm done I guess.

I made disapproval known, but the fact that they were discussing it front of me made me realise they didn't think anything of it.

They are far from scangary they are broke students.

Back in the dark ages when I was young, I had a friend that used similar behaviour to get a life home for her and her friends from the local disco, I would never go with them because of what she was doing although to be honest it was mostly harmless.

eviltwin

I think its a bit low to take advantage of someone in that way.

I'll bet the girls didn't let on they were attached or not interested. No harm done but it was wasting the guys time, okay so they might not have been oil paintings and that bit older but they could have been genuine and its not nice to use them in that way. There are a lot of older people out on the dating scene now of both sexes who might have spent the last 10/15 years in relationships who are a bit green about things.

meeeeh

I would never do what they did but it's way more likley that those three men were deluded 'playboys' than genuine men. Genuine men usually don't chase college girls.

eviltwin

meeeeh wrote: »

I would never do what they did but it's way more likley that those three men were deluded 'playboys' than genuine men. Genuine men usually don't chase college girls.

Even if they were "playboys" so what? Is looking for a one night stand a bad thing? Do they deserve to be taken advantage?

username123

How were the men taken advantage of? They presumably chose to buy drinks for the ladies and they had the pleasure of their company for the night. Unless the girls promised something that they didnt deliver on I cant see the issue.

eviltwin

username123 wrote: »

How were the men taken advantage of? They presumably chose to buy drinks for the ladies and they had the pleasure of their company for the night. Unless the girls promised something that they didnt deliver on I cant see the issue.

You don't think them buying drinks all night was an act of altruism do you? They were probably looking for a shag. As I said its not the meanest thing you can do to someone but I wouldn't be into wasting someone's time like that. I wouldn't appreciate someone doing it to me.

username123

eviltwin wrote: »

You don't think them buying drinks all night was an act of altruism do you? They were probably looking for a shag. As I said its not the meanest thing you can do to someone but I wouldn't be into wasting someone's time like that. I wouldn't appreciate someone doing it to me.

Im presuming the 3 guys came to the 3 girls (by dint of the fact that the girls wouldnt go near them in a million years from the OP) - so whats the problem?

The men were taking a gamble, they hoped to get lucky and bought the girls drinks, they didnt get lucky - it happens. Had they not bought the drinks they probably wouldnt even have had a chance of a conversation with the girls.

I dont think theres anything wrong with it. If Im in a bar and someone offers to buy me a drink or drinks I think I can accept that drink or drinks without any obligation to take things further.

eviltwin

username123 wrote: »

Im presuming the 3 guys came to the 3 girls (by dint of the fact that the girls wouldnt go near them in a million years from the OP) - so whats the problem?

The men were taking a gamble, they hoped to get lucky and bought the girls drinks, they didnt get lucky - it happens. Had they not bought the drinks they probably wouldnt even have had a chance of a conversation with the girls.

I dont think theres anything wrong with it. If Im in a bar and someone offers to buy me a drink or drinks I think I can accept that drink or drinks without any obligation to take things further.

That's true

Maybe its just the fact the OP says the girls are laughing about it and the guys. Its just not something I would do myself. If I was being "chatted up" by someone and it was clear they were interested rather than just being friendly I would always put them straight.

username123

eviltwin wrote: »

That's true

Maybe its just the fact the OP says the girls are laughing about it and the guys. Its just not something I would do myself. If I was being "chatted up" by someone and it was clear they were interested rather than just being friendly I would always put them straight.

Theyre college girls, they were probably just giggling the way they would over anything.

I would think it was bad form if they set out to do it and approached men and indicated that things were going further etc... But to just accept a random event and have a laugh and then go home - no big deal. Particularly when its 3 guys - seems like there would be little up close and personal in a group of 6 people like that - so more likely it would be general chit chat and flirtyness and no promises implied or explicit.

meeeeh

eviltwin wrote: »

Even if they were "playboys" so what? Is looking for a one night stand a bad thing? Do they deserve to be taken advantage?

For different reasons I was around older men quite a bit (mostly work, certain pubs) and I can think only one who had genuine intentions. I was chatted up at work (not in a bar) by some idiot, a real looker btw, bald at the front, long hair at the back. His looks wouldn't matter if he wouldn't think he was gods gift to womanhood, so much so he didn't even bother hiding his wedding band or offering any kind of excuse when I asked him what his wife thinks if his behaviour. I thought I was obviously sarcastic but just in case I gave him my brothers number when he wanted to arrange the date. I thought nobody could be that deluded and that he was joking so I almost fell of the chair when he rang my brother's phone the next day. There were another two I went out for a drink with (I always buy them drink too). One listed all his possessions in first half an hour and the other one tried to make me jealous with explaining how his neighbour washes his car hoping that he will have sex with her and how sometimes when she is desperate enough he obliges. That was after I told him I'm not interested in going out with him or even just sleeping with him. The rest were not that bad. So I am a little bit cynical about genuine older men.

I hate it when girls try not to pay for drinks, regardless of their intentions but I seriously doubt that they took advantage of some poor oblivious men in this case. They had eye candy in their company for the night. It's an ego booster and they probably knew they aren't getting any from the beginning.

Legs.Eleven

Older men sometimes just like to have gorgeous young women in their company. Do they really believe they had a shot? Perhaps they were just happy to have the girl there as "eye candy" as Meeeh said.

Balmed Out

I would never have bought a girl a drink in a chatting up sense and think those who do are idiots and those who spend a night continuously accepting them without being open to meeting the guy again are pretty scummy. I wouldn't want to count either as a friend.

Gin77

username123 wrote: »

How were the men taken advantage of? They presumably chose to buy drinks for the ladies and they had the pleasure of their company for the night. Unless the girls promised something that they didnt deliver on I cant see the issue.

Yeah I agree just a bit of social prostituion

JimmyCrackCorn

Only issue I have is the women laughing at the blokes for buying them drinks.

December2012

mariaalice wrote: »

They are far from scangary they are broke students.

.

Being a student, broke or otherwise, does not prevent you from having scanger behaviour.

It would make no difference what their income is.

I think they are a little bit naive to be honest, I don't think they meant it badly they are young and pretty and get lots of attention, its not something they are doing every weekend or have done before so far as I know. I did say I did not approve of any one behaving like that ( man or woman ), every one had been young and stupid at some point then you grow up and get sense.

openup

They probably shouldn't have been laughing at them after but other than that I can't see what the problem is. If they were buying them drinks and expecting something in return then they deserved it, and if they were buying them drinks hoping for something, well they got company and that's fair enough.

And, as previous posters mentioned, in my experience older men do often buy younger women drinks just to be in their company.

I think there are two aspects to this.

I have seen this on nights out.

3 men in possible in their thirties approach 3 very pretty 20 year old girls the guys know they are not really in with a chance, but they are not going to turn down the chance if they get lucky, they are older have money and remember what it like to be young and broke, the girls are a laugh they have a good night no harm done.

But you do get SOME totally delusional middle aged men who think girls like that would be interested in them and thats where it gets a bit creepy maybe ever dangerous.

I was in Boston one time in a bar and a group of men sent us over drinks and I sent them back because basically I don't like it, I can buy my own drinks, the barman told me I was bit rude and that the men do not mean anything by getting me a drink. I am a bit paranoid about being independent though.

Princess Peach

mariaalice wrote: »

I was in Boston one time in a bar and a group of men sent us over drinks and I sent them back because basically I don't like it, I can buy my own drinks, the barman told me I was bit rude and that the men do not mean anything by getting me a drink. I am a bit paranoid about being independent though.

It's a very common thing for American guys to do. I had never had a drink bought me for me in my life till I went to America when I was 21, there I barely bought a drink for 6 months! My friends and I took full advantage of this, more often than not giving the guys just our company for the evening. Sometimes I think back on it and feel bad. We were young and broke and nights out were still our priority. It was take the drinks or be sober, and at the time it seemed fine as we were all single and the guys were generous.

My American friend who lived in Ireland would come to pubs here and try scout out who wouldn't buy us drinks. I said it doesn't work like that here at all :pac:

Doubt I would accept drinks now. I'm not single, but also as it's not really as common in Ireland I guess maybe that means the guy really does expect more, as opposed to in North America where it's just what they do. When I lived in Canada my male friends would often buy rounds of drinks for the girls.

meeeeh

I said I don't exactly belong to "poor men" club because if a woman can be bought with a drink then you would be better staying away from her anyway. I do however despise an attitude some girls have that they are entitled to be taken care of. Equal rights also demand equal responsibilities.

Emme

If they were three married oulfellas who thought they might get lucky by buying three young women drinks all night then they got exactly what they deserved. Most of these guys have MARRIED written all over them even if they don't have the ring on.

The girls are three broke students - it might have been a little opportunistic of them but they did no harm. My friends and I did this once or twice when we were young - primarily to teach married men who were out for one thing a lesson and get ourselves free drink into the bargain.

As long as they don't make a habit of it there's no big deal. The men were probably well able to afford it and enjoyed the company of the girls more than the girls enjoyed their company.

The girls weren't skangery - if they picked the guys pockets and robbed their wedding rings that would be skangery!

seachto7

The men are bigger eejits to be doing this kind of thing. If the women can get away with it, then why not. Though it's pretty pathetic behaviour from both sides....

What would the women have thought if the men, at the end of the night, didn't "get what they wanted", got violent?

Princess Peach

seachto7 wrote: »

The men are bigger eejits to be doing this kind of thing. If the women can get away with it, then why not. Though it's pretty pathetic behaviour from both sides....

What would the women have thought if the men, at the end of the night, didn't "get what they wanted", got violent?

Even though they took the drinks it's not their fault if that happens.

meeeeh

Emme wrote: »

If they were three married oulfellas who thought they might get lucky by buying three young women drinks all night then they got exactly what they deserved. Most of these guys have MARRIED written all over them even if they don't have the ring on.

The girls are three broke students - it might have been a little opportunistic of them but they did no harm. My friends and I did this once or twice when we were young - primarily to teach married men who were out for one thing a lesson and get ourselves free drink into the bargain.

If you would want to teach them a lesson you would say no to them, you wanted free drinks.

btw I have no problem with people accepting first drink, then you either buy a round back or move on if they don't interest you.

Oh and "got violent" argument doesn't work. Nobody has a right to expect sex after buying someone a couple of drinks.

Emme

meeeeh wrote: »

If you would want to teach them a lesson you would say no to them, you wanted free drinks.

btw I have no problem with people accepting first drink, then you either buy a round back or move on if they don't interest you.

Oh and "got violent" argument doesn't work. Nobody has a right to expect sex after buying someone a couple of drinks.

We only did this about twice and wouldn't have hung around very long. We were young at the time. Once we left college and started earning we would have bought our own drinks or bought back drinks for anyone who bought them for us. This was in the early 1990s when men who expected sex after drinks were more rare than now. In those days girls were allowed to say no to sex even if a man had bought her a drink. People didn't seem to take themselves as seriously in those days.

Maybe I'm wrong but these days it seems that a girl is expected to sleep with a man if he deigns to buy her a drink. If she refuses and thinks she's worth more than a drink then she's getting above herself and is on the take. Also if she refuses the man who bought her the drink has the right to get violent. OK, I'm being slightly ironic :rolleyes: but that's the impression I get from some posters here.

Basically three female students were having a bit of a laugh with some older men with money who bought them drinks and were probably having a laugh as well. What's the big deal? The men probably had a laugh about the girls afterwards as well.

Afollower

eviltwin wrote: »

Even if they were "playboys" so what? Is looking for a one night stand a bad thing? Do they deserve to be taken advantage?

YES

sunshine and showers

Why does someone buying you a drink have to mean you "owe" them anything? Those men chose to buy drinks for a group of young ladies and, as others have said, had the pleasure of their company for the evening. If they didn't like chatting to the girls, they wouldn't have bought them more drinks. Anyway, they could have bought those girls champagne all night and they still wouldn't have the right to expect sex in return. Talking to someone, buying the a few drinks, and even a bit of harmless flirting, does not entitle anyone to sex.

Really, the only problem here is the fact that the girls were laughing about it afterwards. That's cruel, but not unforgivable.

meeeeh

sunshine and showers wrote: »

Why does someone buying you a drink have to mean you "owe" them anything? Those men chose to buy drinks for a group of young ladies and, as others have said, had the pleasure of their company for the evening. If they didn't like chatting to the girls, they wouldn't have bought them more drinks. Anyway, they could have bought those girls champagne all night and they still wouldn't have the right to expect sex in return. Talking to someone, buying the a few drinks, and even a bit of harmless flirting, does not entitle anyone to sex.

Really, the only problem here is the fact that the girls were laughing about it afterwards. That's cruel, but not unforgivable.

While I agree they are not entitled to expect anything in return, I dislike a culture where women have to be taken care of. Sure they have to be provided for and since they don't really need to earn money for themselves, why wouldn't they stay at home and mind the kids and their man will treat them to something nice every so often. I took it to the extreme but would the same girls buy drinks to a man they just met and liked for the whole night if they had money.

Paddy Cow

eviltwin wrote: »

I think its a bit low to take advantage of someone in that way.

I'll bet the girls didn't let on they were attached or not interested. No harm done but it was wasting the guys time, okay so they might not have been oil paintings and that bit older but they could have been genuine and its not nice to use them in that way. There are a lot of older people out on the dating scene now of both sexes who might have spent the last 10/15 years in relationships who are a bit green about things.

How were they taking advantage? They didn't deliberately set out to find some guys to buy them drinks. The guys approached them and bought the drinks. No matter how long they might have been out of the dating scene, they'd have to be really naive to think that three women 20 years younger than them are going to want to play hide the sausage just because they got some drinks. I seriously doubt that the guys wanted a long term relationship with the girls or even expected a one night stand. It's more likely they could afford to buy the drinks and the girls boosted their ego's a little bit.

I know someone in her thirties who told me that when she was younger she worked in a pub and there was an older man who had a crush on her. She deliberately took advantage of him and would get him to take herself and her friend out for lunch/nights out because he would pay for everything. She had absolutely no guilt about it and while it's not something I would do myself, the guy was an adult and it was his choice to be taken advantage off. If it was one time then he could have moved on but if he was constantly paying for them, then he must've been happy to do it.

Paddy Cow

mariaalice wrote: »

Do you think the following is fair game or not on at all.

3 very attractive young women, 2 are in a relationship and 1 is not seeing anyone at the moment. They go out to a late bar, they get chatted up by 3 aul lads who they would never go near in a million years ( their description of them ) The men proceed to buy they drinks all night.

Next day they are chatting and laughing about this and think it hilarious that the men got them drink all night.

On the one hand I think its not on at all and the girls were basically using the men, on the other had the men couldn't be such eejits that they think the young women were really interested in them.

I bet you anything that the next day the three men were chatting and laughing about how they spent the evening flirting with three hot young ones. I doubt it affected the men's self esteem and they knew it wouldn't go further.

seachto7

Princess Peach wrote: »

Even though they took the drinks it's not their fault if that happens.

All the more reason not to do it. You just never know when you meet a nutjob.

Princess Peach

seachto7 wrote: »

All the more reason not to do it. You just never know when you meet a nutjob.

I'm not quite sure I understand your logic. Should people just not be going to bars at all so?

strobe

The men were free to buy drinks or not. They chose to, maybe with the hope of getting a ride, maybe to enjoy the company of the three girls, or maybe just cause they had a bit of cash to burn and figured meh, sure why not.

It was their choice. If they made the choice to buy the girls a few drinks I don't think the girls had any ethical obligation to decline because they had no intention of sleeping with the lads.

If they were going out chatting up aul lads and laying it on thick that implying that they'd sleep with them.... well that's pretty skanky, but even in that situation the men have the perogative of just not buying them drinks.

Doubt the lads were 'taken advantage of' in this instance. Men learn pretty quick that there are sosome women that are a bit skanky and will flirt like mad purely for a few drinks or whatever with no other intention. Unless these guys had led very sheltered lives they more than likely knew the score and had no expectations of anything other than having a bit of a laugh with a few young ladies (while maybe or maybe not being open to getting the leg over if things went that way) .

meeeeh

seachto7 wrote: »

All the more reason not to do it. You just never know when you meet a nutjob.

Women should also be completely covered. Maybe it would be better to stay at home all the time anyway and leave the house only escorted by a male relative.

seachto7

seachto7 wrote: »

All the more reason not to do it. You just never know when you meet a nutjob.

Some women, like the young women in the OP, shouldn't take the pi55. Now, the men could well have been fully aware of what was going on, but sooner or later the women will get free drinks off the wrong guy, a mentally unhinged member of society. :rolleyes:

It's not the woman's fault if she gets physically assaulted.

It's just the same as going in hard on a tackle in football. Sooner or later someone will nut you.

seachto7

meeeeh wrote: »

Women should also be completely covered. Maybe it would be better to stay at home all the time anyway and leave the house only escorted by a male relative.

Where in my post did I mention or allude to this?

Can you not see the danger in what the women did? If you can't, you're pretty naive..

I suppose I don't tolerate people who do this kind of thing (getting blokes or women to buy them drink all night). I've known plenty like this down the years, and a lot of the ones who continuously did it ended up pathetic versions of their younger selves when they reached their 30s. It would be best for these young women to enjoy their nights out and spend what they can afford rather than scamming freebies off horny men.

Funkfield

mariaalice wrote: »

3 very attractive young women, 2 are in a relationship and 1 is not seeing anyone at the moment. They go out to a late bar, they get chatted up by 3 aul lads who they would never go near in a million years ( their description of them ) The men proceed to buy they drinks all night.

mariaalice wrote: »

3 men in possible in their thirties approach 3 very pretty 20 year old girls the guys know they are not really in with a chance, but they are not going to turn down the chance if they get lucky, they are older have money and remember what it like to be young and broke, the girls are a laugh they have a good night no harm done.

Srsly?

Princess Peach

seachto7 wrote: »

Some women, like the young women in the OP, shouldn't take the pi55. Now, the men could well have been fully aware of what was going on, but sooner or later the women will get free drinks off the wrong guy, a mentally unhinged member of society. :rolleyes:

It's not the woman's fault if she gets physically assaulted.

It's just the same as going in hard on a tackle in football. Sooner or later someone will nut you.

seachto7 wrote: »

Where in my post did I mention or allude to this?

Can you not see the danger in what the women did? If you can't, you're pretty naive..

You've contradicted yourself here in the part I have bolded. You say it's not their fault firstly, but then go on to say that they have intentionally put themselves into this situation, which you claim WILL eventually happen.

Funkfield

Funkfield wrote: »

Surely?

On the second point, it was after a Christmas night one time. I saw what the guys were doing, my take on it was that the guy weren't really looking to chat up the girls as such nor were they looking for a one nigh stand they were looking to impresser the girls because they were now at a stage in their life where they were older and had a bit of money. I am certain the guys knew the score I would say they though it was a bit of a laugh.

While I think the above is essentially harmless that dose not mean I think it is right.

seachto7

Princess Peach wrote: »

You've contradicted yourself here in the part I have bolded. You say it's not their fault firstly, but then go on to say that they have intentionally put themselves into this situation, which you claim WILL eventually happen.

Split hairs if you will. Sounds like you're excusing their behaviour.

seachto7

mariaalice wrote: »

On the second point, it was after a Christmas night one time. I saw what the guys were doing, my take on it was that the guy weren't really looking to chat up the girls as such nor were they looking for a one nigh stand they were looking to impresser the girls because they were now at a stage in their life where they were older and had a bit of money. I am certain the guys knew the score I would say they though it was a bit of a laugh.

While I think the above is essentially harmless that dose not make I think it is right.

Seriously. Come on now.....:rolleyes:

So they thought they'd go out and "hey, let's impress some youngsters with our money!". Shur they could have impressed some homeless people and handed them a few 50e notes as well.

Time for a reality check ladies. They were looking to get their end away.

Lyaiera

seachto7 wrote: »

Time for a reality check ladies. They were looking to get their end away.

You must live in a seriously messed up world if you think people buying drinks for someone means they're only interested in sex. I know a load of people who buy people drinks just because they're well off and they have a feeling the person they're talking to isn't. It might be a bit presumptuous on the financial side but it's safe to assume that most students aren't rolling in cash.

The older guys I know who do it do it because they get a buzz from "partying" with young people. It gives them a chance to relive their youth and feel like they're young and in their mad days again. This ranges all the way from when I was 18 and my parents friends wouldn't let me buy myself drinks to guys I go out with in their forties who are just happy to spend their night chatting with anyone.

Princess Peach

seachto7 wrote: »

Split hairs if you will. Sounds like you're excusing their behaviour.

Well I don't think it's all that bad anyway.

What I'm mostly against though is your suggestion that if a woman takes some drinks from a guy and then refuses him and gets attacked, she deserved it for taking the drink in the first place.

seachto7

I can't believe you are this naive.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Well here my 2 cents as an "aul" (30 ) fella and a guy who likes heading out with friends and hitting the pubs and clubs.

Both parties acted a bit crappy socially imo.

Firstly the fellas didn't do themselves any favours by buying the drinks. It's comes across as fairly desperate as if they felt the need to "buy" a woman's company. It doesn't impress anyone, certainly not these girls and most guys see it as desperate behaviour too.

The girls probably made themselves look poor by accepting the drinks all night, particularly when they laughed about the whole thing afterwards. They probably made themselves look like sort of "golddiggers".

I've been asked (and my friends) by girls to buy them drinks before. Those women were just chancing the arm and myself and the lads made our excuses and move on (without buying them drinks). It's obvious what their game is.

Sometimes I will offer to buy a girl a drink if I think we're having a genuine interaction and I need to buy myself one anyway. Women have bought me drinks in the reverse situation too which is fair enough (and I always make sure to return the favour).

As far as lads go, the worst kind are the one who try to "ply a bird with drink" in order to lower their inhibitions. Really, really not cool (and depend how far things go criminal).

meeeeh

seachto7 wrote: »

Where in my post did I mention or allude to this?

Can you not see the danger in what the women did? If you can't, you're pretty naive..

I suppose I don't tolerate people who do this kind of thing (getting blokes or women to buy them drink all night). I've known plenty like this down the years, and a lot of the ones who continuously did it ended up pathetic versions of their younger selves when they reached their 30s. It would be best for these young women to enjoy their nights out and spend what they can afford rather than scamming freebies off horny men.

It's the same reasoning as "she had it coming, she was wearing short skirt". I met a few unhinged men, surprisingly enough none of them bought me drinks. You have every right to disagree with girls behavior but don't make it to be any more dangerous as it is, just because you don't like it.