Rough behaviour when drunk - typical in West Dublin?

JaneeMack

Hi, I have a question that I'd like to ask.

First off, I'm not Irish but I've lived here for a few years now. Secondly, I'd like to say that I don't want to pinpoint a particular area as a stereotypical bad place - I love this city in its bad and good!!

I'm seeing this guy from a southwest Dublin area, a place where some people would consider a bit rough. I have two friends who are buying a house and they said they wouldn't even view the houses in that area cuz it's too rough.

Now I have to say I used to have that idea in my head too until I started going over to his house and found it quite nice and peaceful although I wouldn't go out and walk around alone at night (me being a foreign girl and all!)

The relationship's been going great and we've gone out drinking on many occasions - even though we never got hammered together.

This weekend, we went out with our friends from both sides and ended up in a club. We were doing shots and had quite a lot to drink. Now, he was fine until about 2 am but then there was a small argument between his friend and another guy in the club and my guy got involved in it. Thankfully it didn't turn into a full blown fight (the security guards got involved and stopped them) but it was turning into a huge brawl in the club and I was scared to death that it might turn into something nasty. There was a lot of cursing and shouting and ppl got gathered around them while this was going on.

When we left the club, they were acting drunk and stupid at a chipper where we went to for a grub and he threw the can of soda at the wall out on the street really violently and thought it was hilarious when I got upset about it. He also started talking to girls on the street (in a jokingly way, not sleazy) and ran after one leaving me with his friend as if it was so funny. His friend told me that this is a typical Dublin behaviour and that I shouldn't worry - that I haven't seen a real Dub going out.

The next day he said he doesn't remember any of this and apologised.

So, is his friend right in saying that this is a Dub going out kinda thing or should I be worried about this guy? He is in his late 20's. I've gone out with a few guys and never seen anything like this?

howamidifferent

Dump his ass.

Seachmall

It's typical gobshite behaviour, not typical Dub behaviour.


Just another lad who can't handle his drink. They exist all over the country I'm afraid.

funk-you

Sounds like a bit of a Sap tbh.

-Funk

fishy fishy

JaneeMack wrote: »

Hi, I have a question that I'd like to ask.

First off, I'm not Irish but I've lived here for a few years now. Secondly, I'd like to say that I don't want to pinpoint a particular area as a stereotypical bad place - I love this city in its bad and good!!

I'm seeing this guy from a southwest Dublin area, a place where some people would consider a bit rough. I have two friends who are buying a house and they said they wouldn't even view the houses in that area cuz it's too rough.

Now I have to say I used to have that idea in my head too until I started going over to his house and found it quite nice and peaceful although I wouldn't go out and walk around alone at night (me being a foreign girl and all!)

The relationship's been going great and we've gone out drinking on many occasions - even though we never got hammered together.

This weekend, we went out with our friends from both sides and ended up in a club. We were doing shots and had quite a lot to drink. Now, he was fine until about 2 am but then there was a small argument between his friend and another guy in the club and my guy got involved in it. Thankfully it didn't turn into a full blown fight (the security guards got involved and stopped them) but it was turning into a huge brawl in the club and I was scared to death that it might turn into something nasty. There was a lot of cursing and shouting and ppl got gathered around them while this was going on.

When we left the club, they were acting drunk and stupid at a chipper where we went to for a grub and he threw the can of soda at the wall out on the street really violently and thought it was hilarious when I got upset about it. He also started talking to girls on the street (in a jokingly way, not sleazy) and ran after one leaving me with his friend as if it was so funny. His friend told me that this is a typical Dublin behaviour and that I shouldn't worry - that I haven't seen a real Dub going out.

The next day he said he doesn't remember any of this and apologised.

So, is his friend right in saying that this is a Dub going out kinda thing or should I be worried about this guy? He is in his late 20's. I've gone out with a few guys and never seen anything like this?

for somebody that is foreign, you have a great grasp of the language, slang and all.

You get eejits everywhere - not specific to a particular area - if you like the behavior stay, if you don't leave - you are the one that has to live with it.

flutered

i always told my kids if they were getting serious with some one and wanted to see what they were like, thake them out and get them drunk.

DeltaWhite

That's just what happens when someone drinks too much.. Nothing to do with where they're from etc, its just the curse of alcohol!

Duggy747

JaneeMack wrote: »

His friend told me that this is a typical Dublin behaviour and that I shouldn't worry - that I haven't seen a real Dub going out.

More like typical arsehole behaviour as a result of being drunk, not isolated to being a Dub thing at all.

SouthTippBass

Your relationship is new, so this lad has been on his best behavior around you up til now. Sounds like the honeymoon period is over!

Yamanoto

JaneeMack wrote: »

The next day he said he doesn't remember any of this and apologised.

...to the Court.

Simon Gruber Says

Dosen't matter if you're from Dalkey or Darndale, once you introduce alcohol into the situation, people become a**holes and this happens.

Esoteric_

No, it's not typical Dublin behaviour. It's scumbag behaviour.

xzanti

Run.

--Kaiser--

Unfortunately this type of behaviour is tolerated way too much in this country
"Sure I was only having the craic!"

JaneeMack

On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

Esoteric_

JaneeMack wrote: »

On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

The 'nothing like I expected because of where he's from' bit is REALLY condescending and a bit snobby tbh. If somebody thought that way about me because I live in a shít area, I'd be hugely offended.

Won't happen again is a load of crap. If he gets drunk, it'll happen again. Normal people don't get aggressive and act like louts when they're drunk. So, if he says it won't happen again, does that mean he's not going to drink again, since the drink brings it out of him?

If you want to give him another shot then fair enough, but anyone who's happy to stay with somebody showing aggression or violence while drunk is crazy IMO.

Dravokivich

JaneeMack wrote: »

he says he won't do it again?

How does he know he won't do something he didn't know he did?

Seachmall

JaneeMack wrote: »

he says he won't do it again

I don't know the lad but he will.

The only way to stop acting like a prat is to cut down on the drink, and cutting down is near impossible when you've already a few drinks in you.

SouthTippBass

JaneeMack wrote: »

Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

:rolleyes:

cml387

In fairness the lad is worth at least one more chance.

Esoteric_

cml387 wrote: »

In fairness the lad is worth at least one more chance.

Why is anyone who shows aggression or violence worth one more chance?

Dyr

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Why is anyone who shows aggression or violence worth one more chance?

Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.

SCOOP 64

howamidifferent wrote: »

Dump his ass.

+1

Esoteric_

Bambi wrote: »

Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.

:pac:

Context - her boyfriend got locked, threw himself into a fight, threw something at a wall, and left her alone to go annoy some random girls.

In that context, nope. Not worth another chance.

Annasopra

JaneeMack wrote: »

On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

Have you asked if this behaviour is common when you are not around?

I mean you say "in normal circumstances...."

What exactly is normal circumstances? Could it be that when he is with you that he is on best behaviour and his personality is modified and abnormal?

JaneeMack

Esoteric_ wrote: »

The 'nothing like I expected because of where he's from' bit is REALLY condescending and a bit snobby tbh. If somebody thought that way about me because I live in a shít area, I'd be hugely offended.

Didn't mean to offend anybody but it is just when you are not from this country and you hear such and such from other people, I guess you sometimes get this idea into your head. But since then, I've realised I'm completely in the wrong knowing how lovely himself, his family and neighbours are! Apologies if I offended anyone.

mike65

in before gettting locked

Sergeant

Uncouth jackeen bastards.

Seachmall

Bambi wrote: »

Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.

It's about being able to control your aggression, and drunk people aren't known for their self-restraint.

JaneeMack

mango salsa wrote: »

Have you asked if this behaviour is common when you are not around?

Yes I have asked this to himself and his friend who was also there and his friend actually told me he's never seen him acting like that.

Another chance and if he goes like that again, I'm not seeing him anymore.

ringadingding

Maybe he was a bit excited and was trying to show off in front of you a bit, give the guy a break, a bit of drunken buffoonary doesnt make him a bad person.


Also, are you hot ?

--Kaiser--

Bambi wrote: »

Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.

A common myth. Random aggression is actually a symptom of low testosterone

cml387

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Why is anyone who shows aggression or violence worth one more chance?

Well I say if he says he's sorry AND doesn't do it again he's worth a second chance.

The Backwards Man

What country are you from OP? Do they not have drinken louts there too?

Esoteric_

cml387 wrote: »

Kinda black and white with you, isn't it.

Not particularly, although in this instance, yes. I'm happy to look at grey areas, but I'm also not silly enough to give somebody displaying violence a second chance, because I don't condone scumbag behaviour. :rolleyes: Personal safety and that sorta thing, ya know? If he can fight with a randomer, he can fight with his girlfriend.

Esoteric_

cml387 wrote: »

Well I say if he says he's sorry AND doesn't do it again he's worth a second chance.

Yeah, but you can't know that he won't do it again until AFTER giving the chance, so really, all you have to go on is a 'sorry' and a potentially empty promise.

Also, nice ninja edit of your post. :rolleyes:

eamonnq

JaneeMack wrote: »

nothing like I expected considering where he's from.

Wow. Just wow.

JaneeMack

ringadingding wrote: »

Also, are you hot ?

No I'm not

JaneeMack

The Backwards Man wrote: »

What country are you from OP? Do they not have drinken louts there too?

We have drunk louts in my country too but none of my friends or family have been one. I guess I was just really scared cuz I've never seen anybody close to me do that.

Esoteric_

JaneeMack wrote: »

We have drunk louts in my country too but none of my friends or family have been one. I guess I was just really scared cuz I've never seen anybody close to me do that.

Exactly. You have them in your country, but none of the people you know are one. That should show you that no, it's not normal behaviour, and it's not acceptable.

anncoates

Some proper aul wans on this thread.

JaneeMack

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Exactly. You have them in your country, but none of the people you know are one. That should show you that no, it's not normal behaviour, and it's not acceptable.

You are bang on - I couldn't argue with that. I'm usually a logical person but because emotion is involved, I find it hard to just say 'no, get lost' to him.

fishy fishy

JaneeMack wrote: »

On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

go for it if thats what you want.

eamonnq

JaneeMack wrote: »

No I'm not

Are you honest ?

Come on everyone ends up in some sort of scuffle in a club or whatever at some point in their lives so he deserves a chance on that anyway, the breaking the can was silly more than anything. The running after a random girl was by far the most thing I would be questioning him on.

eamonnq

Genesis Swift Rawhide wrote: »

The running after a random girl was by far the most thing I would be questioning him on.

Was SHE hot ? :P

anncoates

Decent enough wind up thread though, given the quality of recent efforts in AH.

Esoteric_

Genesis Swift Rawhide wrote: »

Come on everyone ends up in some sort of scuffle in a club or whatever at some point in their lives so he deserves a chance on that anyway, the breaking the can was silly more than anything. The running after a random girl was by far the most thing I would be questioning him on.

Do they? I never have, and neither have any of my friends or siblings, or anyone I've dated.

If you're hopped on and defend yourself, sound. If you jump into a fight that has nothing to do with you, you're looking for trouble.

JaneeMack

eamonnq wrote: »

Was SHE hot ? :P

He wasn't even hitting on her, but just being stupid.

The girl had a funny looking bag and he ran after her shouting 'what do you have in your bag?' and came back after 5 minutes.

Joe prim

I have read the post and I have diagnosed your boyfriend as type 2 bi=polar, he is therefore actually ill rather than bad and if you break it off you are guilty of discriminatory behaviour and liable to a fine of ( up to ) 50 euro and/or imprisonment for (up to) six months, although, if you know the Guard ( or if your boyfriend is actually a Guard) we can let it go this time.

N.B. In relation to the above diagnosis, I am not a doctor, but I have a interweb connection and therefore know everything.

JaneeMack

Joe prim wrote: »

I have read the post and I have diagnosed your boyfriend as type 2 bi=polar, he is therefore actually ill rather than bad and if you break it off you are guilty of discriminatory behaviour and liable to a fine of ( up to ) 50 euro and/or imprisonment for (up to) six months, although, if you know the Guard ( or if your boyfriend is actually a Guard) we can let it go this time.

N.B. In relation to the above diagnosis, I am not a doctor, but I have a interweb connection and therefore know everything.

My ex husband was actually a type 2 bi-polar so I know for sure this guy isn't one. But thanks for your diagnosis and potential consequences. :P