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Rough behaviour when drunk - typical in West Dublin?

  • 13-05-2013 11:40AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 179 ✭✭


    Hi, I have a question that I'd like to ask.

    First off, I'm not Irish but I've lived here for a few years now. Secondly, I'd like to say that I don't want to pinpoint a particular area as a stereotypical bad place - I love this city in its bad and good!!

    I'm seeing this guy from a southwest Dublin area, a place where some people would consider a bit rough. I have two friends who are buying a house and they said they wouldn't even view the houses in that area cuz it's too rough.

    Now I have to say I used to have that idea in my head too until I started going over to his house and found it quite nice and peaceful although I wouldn't go out and walk around alone at night (me being a foreign girl and all!)

    The relationship's been going great and we've gone out drinking on many occasions - even though we never got hammered together.

    This weekend, we went out with our friends from both sides and ended up in a club. We were doing shots and had quite a lot to drink. Now, he was fine until about 2 am but then there was a small argument between his friend and another guy in the club and my guy got involved in it. Thankfully it didn't turn into a full blown fight (the security guards got involved and stopped them) but it was turning into a huge brawl in the club and I was scared to death that it might turn into something nasty. There was a lot of cursing and shouting and ppl got gathered around them while this was going on.

    When we left the club, they were acting drunk and stupid at a chipper where we went to for a grub and he threw the can of soda at the wall out on the street really violently and thought it was hilarious when I got upset about it. He also started talking to girls on the street (in a jokingly way, not sleazy) and ran after one leaving me with his friend as if it was so funny. His friend told me that this is a typical Dublin behaviour and that I shouldn't worry - that I haven't seen a real Dub going out.

    The next day he said he doesn't remember any of this and apologised.

    So, is his friend right in saying that this is a Dub going out kinda thing or should I be worried about this guy? He is in his late 20's. I've gone out with a few guys and never seen anything like this?


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    Dump his ass.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    It's typical gobshite behaviour, not typical Dub behaviour.


    Just another lad who can't handle his drink. They exist all over the country I'm afraid.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,744 ✭✭✭funk-you


    Sounds like a bit of a Sap tbh.

    -Funk


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,456 ✭✭✭fishy fishy


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    Hi, I have a question that I'd like to ask.

    First off, I'm not Irish but I've lived here for a few years now. Secondly, I'd like to say that I don't want to pinpoint a particular area as a stereotypical bad place - I love this city in its bad and good!!

    I'm seeing this guy from a southwest Dublin area, a place where some people would consider a bit rough. I have two friends who are buying a house and they said they wouldn't even view the houses in that area cuz it's too rough.

    Now I have to say I used to have that idea in my head too until I started going over to his house and found it quite nice and peaceful although I wouldn't go out and walk around alone at night (me being a foreign girl and all!)

    The relationship's been going great and we've gone out drinking on many occasions - even though we never got hammered together.

    This weekend, we went out with our friends from both sides and ended up in a club. We were doing shots and had quite a lot to drink. Now, he was fine until about 2 am but then there was a small argument between his friend and another guy in the club and my guy got involved in it. Thankfully it didn't turn into a full blown fight (the security guards got involved and stopped them) but it was turning into a huge brawl in the club and I was scared to death that it might turn into something nasty. There was a lot of cursing and shouting and ppl got gathered around them while this was going on.

    When we left the club, they were acting drunk and stupid at a chipper where we went to for a grub and he threw the can of soda at the wall out on the street really violently and thought it was hilarious when I got upset about it. He also started talking to girls on the street (in a jokingly way, not sleazy) and ran after one leaving me with his friend as if it was so funny. His friend told me that this is a typical Dublin behaviour and that I shouldn't worry - that I haven't seen a real Dub going out.

    The next day he said he doesn't remember any of this and apologised.

    So, is his friend right in saying that this is a Dub going out kinda thing or should I be worried about this guy? He is in his late 20's. I've gone out with a few guys and never seen anything like this?

    for somebody that is foreign, you have a great grasp of the language, slang and all. :D

    You get eejits everywhere - not specific to a particular area - if you like the behavior stay, if you don't leave - you are the one that has to live with it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 6,724 ✭✭✭flutered


    i always told my kids if they were getting serious with some one and wanted to see what they were like, thake them out and get them drunk.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 666 ✭✭✭DeltaWhite


    That's just what happens when someone drinks too much.. Nothing to do with where they're from etc, its just the curse of alcohol!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    His friend told me that this is a typical Dublin behaviour and that I shouldn't worry - that I haven't seen a real Dub going out.

    More like typical arsehole behaviour as a result of being drunk, not isolated to being a Dub thing at all.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,286 ✭✭✭SouthTippBass


    Your relationship is new, so this lad has been on his best behavior around you up til now. Sounds like the honeymoon period is over!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,489 ✭✭✭Yamanoto


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    The next day he said he doesn't remember any of this and apologised.

    ...to the Court.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,037 ✭✭✭Simon Gruber Says


    Dosen't matter if you're from Dalkey or Darndale, once you introduce alcohol into the situation, people become a**holes and this happens.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    No, it's not typical Dublin behaviour. It's scumbag behaviour.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,464 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Run.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    Unfortunately this type of behaviour is tolerated way too much in this country
    "Sure I was only having the craic!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 179 ✭✭JaneeMack


    On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

    Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

    Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

    The 'nothing like I expected because of where he's from' bit is REALLY condescending and a bit snobby tbh. If somebody thought that way about me because I live in a shít area, I'd be hugely offended.

    Won't happen again is a load of crap. If he gets drunk, it'll happen again. Normal people don't get aggressive and act like louts when they're drunk. So, if he says it won't happen again, does that mean he's not going to drink again, since the drink brings it out of him?

    If you want to give him another shot then fair enough, but anyone who's happy to stay with somebody showing aggression or violence while drunk is crazy IMO.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,380 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    he says he won't do it again?

    How does he know he won't do something he didn't know he did?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    he says he won't do it again

    I don't know the lad but he will.

    The only way to stop acting like a prat is to cut down on the drink, and cutting down is near impossible when you've already a few drinks in you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,286 ✭✭✭SouthTippBass


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,947 ✭✭✭cml387


    In fairness the lad is worth at least one more chance.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    cml387 wrote: »
    In fairness the lad is worth at least one more chance.

    Why is anyone who shows aggression or violence worth one more chance?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    Why is anyone who shows aggression or violence worth one more chance?

    Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 5,669 ✭✭✭SCOOP 64


    Dump his ass.

    +1


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Bambi wrote: »
    Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.

    :pac:

    Context - her boyfriend got locked, threw himself into a fight, threw something at a wall, and left her alone to go annoy some random girls.

    In that context, nope. Not worth another chance.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,232 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    JaneeMack wrote: »
    On a normal circumstances, he is a fantastic guy, nothing like I expected considering where he's from. I was just a bit taken aback cuz I've never seen anybody, including family and friends, acting like this.

    Just cuz he's such a nice guy, I want to give him another chance and we talked about this - he says he won't do it again? To be fair, I was quite drunk myself but I just have fun when I get drunk - no trouble - I will stay away from it.

    Have you asked if this behaviour is common when you are not around?

    I mean you say "in normal circumstances...."

    What exactly is normal circumstances? Could it be that when he is with you that he is on best behaviour and his personality is modified and abnormal?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 179 ✭✭JaneeMack


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    The 'nothing like I expected because of where he's from' bit is REALLY condescending and a bit snobby tbh. If somebody thought that way about me because I live in a shít area, I'd be hugely offended.

    Didn't mean to offend anybody but it is just when you are not from this country and you hear such and such from other people, I guess you sometimes get this idea into your head. But since then, I've realised I'm completely in the wrong knowing how lovely himself, his family and neighbours are! Apologies if I offended anyone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 88,968 ✭✭✭✭mike65


    in before gettting locked


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,362 ✭✭✭Sergeant


    Uncouth jackeen bastards.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Bambi wrote: »
    Because aggression and violence are evolutionary traits? It's all about context babes.

    It's about being able to control your aggression, and drunk people aren't known for their self-restraint.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 179 ✭✭JaneeMack


    Have you asked if this behaviour is common when you are not around?

    Yes I have asked this to himself and his friend who was also there and his friend actually told me he's never seen him acting like that.

    Another chance and if he goes like that again, I'm not seeing him anymore.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    Maybe he was a bit excited and was trying to show off in front of you a bit, give the guy a break, a bit of drunken buffoonary doesnt make him a bad person.


    Also, are you hot ?


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