Hassle on bus, what did I do wrong

LegacyUser

I'm a student and I normally cycle around Dublin and I only use Dublin Bus the odd time.

Got Dublin bus this morning and was heading into the city centre.
It was about 8:30am so busy with lots of workers and schoolkids on the bus.

No seats downstairs and no completly free seats upstairs. No problem, lots of people sitting on their own and the front of the bus is closest to the stairs.
I sat up in the top left of the bus, there was a man there on his own.

I didn't see before I sat down he had a bag by the window and he was taking over most of the rest of the seat,I was nearly hanging off it when I went to sit down.

I got a tiny bit of room by squeezing in a bit and he aggressively said "don't see it on me son!". I just replied I wasn't. I assume he said son as I'm a lot younger.

Got near the city centre and I hopped off and by the time I reached the stairs he was swearing at me for all the top deck to see. Everyone looking at me!

I didn't know what to do, yeah I just said "fúck off" back at him but I'm softly spoken and it was more of a whisper then a shout. I doubt he even heard.

Do I mess this up, have I done something wrong?
Are you not supposed to put your bag on your lap when the bus is busy?

He wasn't drunk, not a junkie. Stone cold sober and an ordinary middle aged man in a jacket and jeans. Wearing much the same as myself.

There are drunks on my local bus from time to time and a rough crowd too.
But this was 8:30am and he wasn't drunk so now I think this is my fault somehow

dubbus79

dubbus79 wrote: »

I'm a student and I normally cycle around Dublin and I only use Dublin Bus the odd time.

Got Dublin bus this morning and was heading into the city centre.
It was about 8:30am so busy with lots of workers and schoolkids on the bus.

No seats downstairs and no completly free seats upstairs. No problem, lots of people sitting on their own and the front of the bus is closest to the stairs.
I sat up in the top left of the bus, there was a man there on his own.

I didn't see before I sat down he had a bag by the window and he was taking over most of the rest of the seat,I was nearly hanging off it when I went to sit down.

I got a tiny bit of room by squeezing in a bit and he aggressively said "don't see it on me son!". I just replied I wasn't. I assume he said son as I'm a lot younger.

Got near the city centre and I hopped off and by the time I reached the stairs he was swearing at me for all the top deck to see. Everyone looking at me!

I didn't know what to do, yeah I just said "fúck off" back at him but I'm softly spoken and it was more of a whisper then a shout. I doubt he even heard.

Do I mess this up, have I done something wrong?
Are you not supposed to put your bag on your lap when the bus is busy?

He wasn't drunk, not a junkie. Stone cold sober and an ordinary middle aged man in a jacket and jeans. Wearing much the same as myself.

There are drunks on my local bus from time to time and a rough crowd too.
But this was 8:30am and he wasn't drunk so now I think this is my fault somehow

He was just an @sshole, OP. Someone who felt entitled to take up the whole seat and resented you having sat down. You should have just laughed at him as you went downstairs. You did nothing wrong!

spankysue

You shouldn't let this bother you so much OP, some people are just d1ckheads and there's nothing anyone can do about it. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong btw, you went to sit down, that's the point of getting on the bus.

Forget him and forget about the incident, Dublin is a big city, you'll probably never meet this idiot again.

StillWaters

You meet all of humanity on public transport. Some days you might encounter kindness, giving up seats for elderly people, or someone smiling kindly at and engaging with a child. Other days you see the worse, like this d1ck. You did nothing to provoke him, forget about it.

masterkenali88

Don't waste time thinking about that guy. You did nothing wrong, unfortunately some people just have an exaggerated sense of importance.

ruthiepie

Agree with all the above. Travel on the bus most days and the amount of people who think they're entitled to their own seat is crazy. He obviously thought if he did that with his bag no one would sit beside him. Oh well - I wouldn't give him a second though - he's not worth it!!

blatantrereg

You didn't do anything wrong. Not your fault.
You might not be the most assertive sort, judging from your post. The fact you didn't ask him to make space for you probably let him pick up on that - which probably made him feel like he could bully you.
People were looking at you because they were wondering what the shouting was about. I wouldn't worry about it, most of them would have inferred the guy was a dickhead.
You're best off just not engaging with people like that. You won't achieve anything useful by getting into conflict with them.

dd972

I commuted by Dublin Bus for three years solid and got grief from strangers on a handful of occasions, once even being told to f**k off by a driver as I got off the bus, (wasn't drunk, on drugs, or out of order in any way).

There's an all pervasive woe is me depressive attitude particular to Ireland, especially working class, middle aged Dubliners like the twat you met on the bus, in a nutshell, it's him not you that's the problem.

I'm generally a calm person but that selfish arrogant behaviour on a bus brings out a demon in me,this "my bag deserves its own seat" culture drives me mental.

People have every right to take up two seats-if they paid for two seats.

I wouldn't worry about it OP, you're the bigger person here, I'm sure you treat your fellow commuters with respect, I'd just wash my hands of it, you can't change morons attitudes.

Lorna123

I get the train on a regular basis and it never ceases to amaze me how many people sit on the outside of the seat (furthest from the window) in order to put anyone off from sitting beside them. Bags on seats are an everyday occurrence too. You were perfectly entitled to sit beside this man and he should have made half the seat available to you. You would have come across better had you not answered him back but I understand that he provoked you. There are some really bad mannered people on our public transport but it is best to just ignore them as they will never change.

justaskin likeyakno

Agree with all the above, you're just not used to the public transport mentality.

Maybe you're just a nice person that got on the wrong side of an a%%hole but you'll get a thicker skin with time, just don't lose your humanity in the process:)

Big Bag of Chips

The only thing you did wrong was you sat beside a knob! But you had no way of knowing that before you sat down The world is full of ignorant people, it just happens that in the confines of a bus you can't get away from them.

If anyone was looking at you it was because the partly felt sorry for you, and were partly relieved THEY hadn't sat beside him.

You soon grow a thick skin on public transport!

JD DABA

His fault - He should have bought two tickets.

ibarelycare

I wouldn't worry about it OP. I get bus rage every day! There's a middle-aged man just like that on my bus home. He carries one of those canvassy shopping bags every day that's just stuffed full of old newspapers. I'm convinced he carries it just so he can put it on the seat. He puts it beside the window and sits right in the middle of the seat. Even as the bus is filling up and everyone else is moving over or putting their bag on their laps, he doesn't make an effort to move. More often than not, people will get to the top of the stairs, see that there are no other seats left beside that one and just go back downstairs instead of asking him to move over. Then if someone does ask him, he shuffles over a tiny bit but doesn't move his bag at all, so the person is hanging off the seat beside him. SO rude, it drives me mad. There are plenty of other people like him on public transport unfortunately.

Anyway I wouldn't overthink what happened, you definitely didn't do anything wrong, you just encountered an asshole. Forget about it and move on

DeltaWhite

I get the bus everyday and I'm the most unsociable person on buses I get on - earphones in, and if someone has a bag on a seat I will park my ass down and pretend to be oblivious to their bag, they lift it out of the way quick and as usual I don't even bat an eyelid if I see them saying something, I take an earphone out and just enquire "is there a problem?" you need to toughen up to these @ssholes dude, I used to get the 78a for years and all the gear heads smoking up on the bus was enough to send my temper through the roof!

Now I'm well tough and thick skinned to deal with drunks, junkies and the obvious snooty muppets that believe that the bus is their own private limo... Take no sh*t in this world life is too short!

Dee01

You did nothing wrong at all. There are all sorts of lunatics on public transport.

I (unfortunately) use the bus four times a day. If I get on the bus and someone has a bag beside them/sitting on the outside etc, I will specifically stand in front of them and say excuse me, can I sit there please. I stare them down til they do. I know I'm a bit mad, but that's what the bus does to you. Stick to the bike if u can!!