Does She? Doesn't she?

LegacyUser

Hi... Anyone able to help me out here... sorry it's bit of a story!

I was at a party in my friends girlfriends house 3 years ago... There were all her brothers and sisters there but one of her sisters came into the room, seen me, next thing sat on my lap! I was like "who the f()ck is this one?" She was sweet!
The night continued, we had the craic and then went home!

I found out a few days later that that girl was going out with someone! oh well.
It was not long until we bumped into each other on nights out! Sometimes she would be with her boyfriend and other times she was out with with her friends or her sister (my mates girlfriend).

At the end of one night, she hung out with me and one of my friends and my friend went home and it was just me and her. I was kinda freaked out with being in public with her and alone with me. Didn't enquire with her bout the boyfriend so didn't know what was goin on there! We shared a taxi home. Dropping her off at her house she asked did I want to come in. I said no. There wasn't a hope I was going into that house while she still had a boyfriend!

Any time, I met her out, I would be hoping, she was single. Felt uncomfortable whenever I met her out when she was out with the boyfriend.

In the meantime, I started seeing this other girl. But was not happy in that relationship and had intended of finishing it.

Anyways, one night I was out with my friend and his girlfriend. His girlfriend turns to me and said that her sister was no longer with the boyfriend but not to say anything bout it to her! My world lit up but tried to look not overshocked!
So we all went into town and met her sister later! Straight away when she saw me she came over to me and we started chatting. She said she heard I was seeing someone. I told her what was going on there! At the end off the night, we all left the pub and the group made their separate ways.

This girl and I walked towards the chippers. She grabbed my hand. We were in the chippers. We talked. I asked her what the story was between her and the boyfriend. She said they were finished and she was still down over it! She asked me about my girlfriend. I told her the story and that I wanted to end it but wasn't sure how!

She told me to finish it with her if I wasn't happy!

We got a taxi home again, and she asked again if I would like to come in again. I said no! Would've have felt bad if I did. And maybe I could have thought it might look good! I don't know!

So, I woke up the next morning and I know she's not going out with him. I am really happy! A few days later, I broke up with girl I was seeing.

Next time I was out with my mate and his girlfriend she said to me not her sister was very drunk the last time we were out. So, I was taking that as, no she's not interested.

At that time, I was out and expecting to see her out some night, with the intentions of asking her out or making a move. But never saw her out til recently. It was on stephens night and when i saw her and she saw me she came straight over to me. As it was Stephens night, there was loads of people we knew out and we were distracted from each other. She was asking me for a house party, but I couldn't get one going. After, we were all outside the pub, she went home with her friend!

Me and my mate who goes out with her sister were walking home while trying to get a taxi. I ask him, Whats the deal with that girl? Whats? her number? He didn't have it. Does she like me coz she's always leading me on! He started off by saying that she does like me she thinks I'm sound next thing the taxi came and that conversation was cut short.

I had intended to just text her in the next day or two but next thing I started to feel unwell, had a health concern and did nothing for 2 months.

A few weeks later met her out and at the end of the night, me, my mate, his girlfriend/her sister all went back to her house for a few drinks. She lives with her sister (my mates girlfriend) ... We drank and had the craic then she went to bed. I crashed on the couch and got a taxi home the next morning!

Met her out last weekend on her birthday. She was with her friend and some fella. She waved us over and insist we sit down with them. The other fella went off. Was chatting to her friend and we all went on to the club after. I got chatting to someone and by the time I turned around to talk to her she was gone chatting to some other lad. Next thing they were all gone.

Was out the night after and met her with her bothers and sisters and my friend!

We were chatting and having the craic! She hinted to me that she wasn't with anyone the night before? At the end of the night we were chatting with each other. We were joking with each other. Then when it was just myself and my friend who goes out with her sister... I asked him, whats the story, am I wasting my time going for her? ie: Does she have her eye on someone else? He said that he doesn't know and the only way I'll find out is that I ask her. End of the night came and we all had to leave. She went home with her brother and sister in law, and I went for chips with my friend and his girlfriend (her sister). He started making that point with me again, that I should ask. His girlfriend said to me that she can be a flirt. We ate our food chatted then said our good byes then made our separate ways home.

So, what's the deal? Is this girl genuinely interested in me? Had she ever been? What should I do? Text her? Facebook her? What will I say? Twice before I have left it too late when going for girls who I liked and had a chance with. This girl is too good to lose! I tried to do the right thing and miss out on the best opportunity to be with her. Have I blew it???

judgefudge

You've obviously thought about this a lot...

Nobody here is going to be able to definitively tell you if she likes you or not. You have to just bite the bullet and ask her out. I would suggest doing it the next time you see her in person.

However, she does seem to be a flirty person (since she sat on your lap when you first met her) so I'd prepare yourself to be knocked back. Not that I'm saying it'll happen. But it's possible she's just a flirt.

RossFixxxed

If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you.

From your post she's a flirt and loves male attention. Personally, I'd avoid like the plague.

Honey-ec

RossFixxxed wrote: »

If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you.

She's single. How would she be cheating with him?

OP, honestly, you've been obsessing over this girl for three years but you haven't ever actually told her you like her or asked her out?

It's time to either p*ss or get off the pot. Sorry to be so blunt.

Chucky the tree

Judging by her behaviour when she had a bf I'd avoid her big time.

LegacyUser

Honey-ec wrote: »

She's single. How would she be cheating with him?

OP, honestly, you've been obsessing over this girl for three years but you haven't ever actually told her you like her or asked her out?

It's time to either p*ss or get off the pot. Sorry to be so blunt.

I haven't being obsessing over her for three years. I met her for the first time three years ago. She was going out with the boyfriend at the time. I thought I hadn't a chance all considered.

Then it was only in the last year that I found out she and the boyfriend had finished!

All my friends say she's into me. But, I'm fear I may have left it too late and she prob has lost interest!

RossFixxxed

Honey-ec wrote: »

She's single. How would she be cheating with him?

OP, honestly, you've been obsessing over this girl for three years but you haven't ever actually told her you like her or asked her out?

It's time to either p*ss or get off the pot. Sorry to be so blunt.

She was very flirty sitting on his lap when she was with someone. Would he like her doing that when they are together.

She didn't actually cheat, and I missed that she is NOW single, but my point is pretty much the same. And the advice: Don't.

beks101

hbaediaen wrote: »

Any time, I met her out,His girlfriend said to me that she can be a flirt.

Sounds like a simple case of this to me.

But you'll never know unless you ask, will you?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Being honest I feel I was in the same situation before, although as the girl in my case. From my experience you should definitely tell her how you feel, ask her out for a drink just the two of you, or on a date. The longer this goes on the harder it is, I know in my case I really liked the lad and thought it was obvious but we both ended up just meeting each other on nights out or having a quick tea and chat during the day and it felt like we were both being strung along and not saying how we felt. Evidently nothing really happened between us properly until it got to the point where we both seemed to give up even though with hindsight we never were completely honest with each other about how we felt.

So my advice is go for it, you'll never know unless you try, she clearly does like you from what you said in your post, and there's only one way to find out how much she actually does. Give her a text, and take it from there. Don't put this off if you do like her, you might never have the opportunity again.

Honey-ec

hbaediaen wrote: »

I haven't being obsessing over her for three years. I met her for the first time three years ago. She was going out with the boyfriend at the time. I thought I hadn't a chance all considered.

Then it was only in the last year that I found out she and the boyfriend had finished!

All my friends say she's into me. But, I'm fear I may have left it too late and she prob has lost interest!

You remember every detail of every meeting you've had for three years. That speaks volumes.

Anyway, chances are yes, you have left it too long. But there's only one way to find out. Ask her out. It's not rocket science, seriously.

msg11

Two things can happen here, well three .

1. She says no
2. She says yes
3. You'll never know

Just ask is my advise, it's hard to do at first once done it's done.

Distorted

Is there any reason you are incapable of phoning up this woman and asking her out on a date?

Katgurl

Honey-ec wrote: »

You remember every detail of every meeting you've had for three years. That speaks volumes.

Not necessarily. Some people have very good memories for details, I'm one of them, i can regurgitate conversations verbatim years later.

OP seriously, get her number, phone or text her and ask her out for a drink. She's invited you in twice, she always approached you when out, she tried to get a house party going in yours, she's certainly given you signals in the past.

Ask her out for a drink.

If she says no, it's not the end of the world. She probably won't though.

Idle Passerby

You're overthinking this way too much.

You've fancied this girl since you first met her. All you can tell from your post is that she likes your company because she always makes an effort to speak to you when she see's you. The fact that she sat on your lap and basically said she thought you were attractive the first time she met you means just that. 3 years ago she was a bit flirty, obviously with no intention behind it since she had a boyfriend at the time.

Inviting you in after a taxi ride home doesn't necessarily mean she wanted anything to happen between the two of you. Suggesting you break up with someone you didnt want to be with was just reasonable advice.

Going on all of that, I dont think anything you've mentioned is particularly significant. You fancy someone, all I can tell from what you've said is that she thinks your a nice guy. Ask her out.

Defiler Of The Coffin

Ask her out OP! Worse thing that will happen is that she will say no and you can finally put her behind you. You don't want to pass up other girls because you were still holding a torch for this one!

LegacyUser

Met the girl in question out the other night...

We had a talk in private and I told her that I like her. She basically told me she loves me but as a friend and all that! I kinda seen it coming but was still saddened by her being not interested! She recently got a really good job and is moving away to another town. So, whether she actually liked me or not, I think her moving away may have had an influence on her thinking.

Having finally set the record straight, I should just let her go and move on but I want to keep trying because, the fact is that she definitely showed interest in me before. My friends said it to me that she liked me. But the main reason I think I still have a shot is because twice she asked me home and I declined because I was only trying to do the right thing and not step on anybody's toes! I could have went home with her and we may have been with each other but because I wanted to do the right thing, I may never know!

I want to send her a message on facebook and ask her for a coffee as a friend and simply tell her she gave me opportunity before and I did not jump at these opportunities because I wanted to do the right thing! I don't want to miss out on this girl because of that! She told me she is not with anyone at the mo and that she was with someone 2 weeks ago but that's it! Somehow, (I may be totally wrong) I feel that she is telling me she is available but she is not going to entertain me unless I make an effort!

What would one do?

Idle Passerby

Leave her alone. She's spelled it out for you that she isn't interested in you romantically. Going for coffee wont change her mind. Move on.

Esoteric_

She's told you she's not interested. Leave it at that.

I thought some of the posts saying you were over-thinking and being obsessive were a bit harsh previously, but I actually agree with them after seeing your latest post. She told you in no uncertain terms that she isn't interested in you romantically or sexually, and you're trying to organise dates and try to make her change her mind? Seriously? She doesn't fancy you, sorry, but that's how it is. Move on.

Meauldsegosha

hbaediaen wrote: »

Somehow, (I may be totally wrong) I feel that she is telling me she is available but she is not going to entertain me unless I make an effort!

What would one do?

Yes you are totally wrong. She told you straight to your face she is not interested in you romantically. You really need to let this go OP you are starting to sound obsessed.

Distorted

You rejected her and she lost interest in you. She might have liked you, but from what she's telling you in very clear terms now, she no longer sees you romantically. You've faffed around too much and many women find this off-putting.

If you "wanted to do the right thing" way back, then you could have suggested a date instead of going back to hers and leaving her hanging. You had a chance, you messed up and its time for you to move on now.

beks101

For the love of God man let it go.

She's not interested and she has spelled that out to you in no uncertain terms, rendering any previous flirts meaningless at this stage.

She 's not an idiot, she knows how you feel and if she felt the same she'd make that perfectly clear and not let some new job get in the way.

And don't facebook her. I've been on the receiving end of a few similar fb messages after already making my lack of romantic interest clear and to be frank, it's just annoying and a bit embarrassing to be put in the position of having to explain yourself and essentially shoot someone down, AGAIN. Hold onto your dignity and walk away.