What should I do now? Good signals from her, but I'm now confused

LegacyUser

Hello!

I need some advice here. Let me give you some background info here. I'm 21. There is this girl that I have known for quite a long time and I've always had a small bit of a thing for her. We have always got on well and are from the same town. I wouldn't class ourselves as close friends, but we are friends.

Over a year ago we randomly shifted on a night out. She had a bf at the time (I wasn't aware at the time. They are broken up now) so I thought nothing of it and we pretty much set off as we were before.

Skip to a few weeks ago where we ended up sleeping together after a night out (no sex, shifting and a bit more). Next time i saw her was the other night. We ended up shifting that night in the club and she was saying how she enjoyed the night she stayed over at mine. The next day we were chatting on fb and she says she doesn't remember anything from the night before. We were both drunk but it was only at the very end of the night where she was very drunk, but I wasn't expecting no memory! I filled her in on what happened, and she was annoyed she couldn't remember anything.

So last night I sent her a text asking her if she would like to go for drinks some time next week. But she hasn't replied yet. I've seen her online on fb in the meantime.

Would I be right in being confused? As far as i can tell the signals have been good and at least a reply should be in order Should I text her in a few days?

Cheers

Esoteric_

I wouldn't text her again. You've made your intentions clear, so the ball's in her court now.

Honestly, she sounds like a head wrecker. Cheated on her boyfriend with you, stayed with you after a night out but says she can't remember it, you text her asking her out and she ignores it, but has the time to go on Facebook. If she has the time to go on Facebook, she had the time to send a text tbh.

I'd leave it. You've done all you can and it sounds like she's a bit of a messer.

Stavro Mueller

It looks like she's not into you. Simple as. Nothing she has done suggests she sees you than more than a diversion. The ignored text says it all I'm afraid. People ignore texts when they don't want to engage with the sender.

desbrook

I'm quite sure this is all going nowhere OP . I'm not sure whether she's a head wrecker or not but regardless neither of you acted maturely and even used 50% of the brains you were born with !

While you aren't responsible for her behaviour you are for your own . You spent the night with her a few weeks ago . What did you say to her in the morning ?? "nice day - bye - don't forget your keys ? " If you liked her you should have had the guts to ask her would she like to do xyz that night next week of whatever ! Sorry but sounds like you didn't have the balls unlike when you were under the influence the night before and took her to bed .

Fast forward a few weeks and you meet her again having never bothered to make contact . Drink taken by both of you again . Afterwards you chat on Facebook and text her . Big deal . Sorry but your generation make very little effort with the opposite sex and yet expect blissfully happy relationships to just appear . Drink and keyboards are too easy to hide behind .Great lubricants to getting the ball rolling but they only go so far .

Guts and balls are in very short supply particularly on the lads side . Respect for yourself is not the just preserve of females . There's nothing wrong with a guy wanting to find out if the girl he just slept with (sex or not is immaterial ) has any feelings for him or desire to meet again . Unfortunately talking openly face to face and sober seem to big an ask . Sad .

Honesty, openess and respect will help avoid this kind of confusion .

LegacyUser

hello, thanks for the replies.

@esoteric: She remembers the night she stayed over, just not the one in the club. And we were in contact between that night and the one in the club.

Anyway, I don't think I'll contact her again. I'd say we'll bump into eachother within the next few weeks anyway so might see what the craic is then.

thanks again

blatantrereg

Listen to esoteric.
The girl you like gives good signals to lots of guys. Don't feel special. It's all about her. She strings people along and casually cheats on bfs. You're silly to trust her.
Developing a healthy sense of repulsion for people like that is one of the secrets to a happy life.

_dublinlad_

I was about to write a reply but then I read the above comment from 'blatantrereg'... and that summed up exactly what I was going to say.

Heed those words. Stear clear of women like that, its all about them... they string lads about and see them as play things. It is a blessing if she dosent respond to you by the sounds of it.

Unless your 100% purely interested in the sex... if so give her another shout sure.

msg11

_dublinlad_ wrote: »

Unless your 100% purely interested in the sex... if so give her another shout sure.

Classic. But yeah I do agree , sounds like this is all she wants ..