Babyface

LegacyUser

My boyfiend of 6 years has broken up with me because i am too young looking! Im 25 but i look so much younger some people say i look 15, i always get asked for id. I have tried everything from changing my hair style, wearing older clothes everything but i never get taken seriously by anyone. I am a 25 year old woman but i can not even go into a nice restaurant to book a table without getting strange looks. Even at job interviews i get told i am so young looking no one would ever say to a person you look so old that would be seen as offensive but it hurts me so much when people say i look young i go out thinking im looking at least like a woman in her 20s then i get the usual o are u stil in school. even going to the hairdressers is a pain asking are you sure your mum will be happy with this colour in 25 wtf!!!

Now this is the last straw my boyfriend said he cant handle the contast looks and comments he gets when people see us together everyone thinking a grown man is dating a teenager. He said it was fine a few years ago but now he just does not find me attractive which i cant blame him he wants a woman not a little child!

Im not sure what to do now iv tried everything and im sick of getting looked over and not taken seriously im even considering plastic surgery but not sure what to get done what do i even say i want to look old! i think the problem is iv a round face and im only 5 foot 4 and size 8. Im so sick for the line o you will be happy in a few years to look young.

Stavro Mueller

If your boyfriend dumped you for such a stupid reason then you're better off without him. Don't even think about changing anything about yourself or ruining yourself with plastic surgery. There is nothing wrong with you. I'm sure you are gorgeous.

Maybe your boyfriend only used this as the excuse he was looking for to break it off. People aren't always fully truthful when they dump someone.

Czarcasm

OP in all honesty, that is one of the dumbest reasons to break up with somebody, and I've heard a few clangers in my time. Your boyfriend knew you had issues with your physical appearance, and then broke up with you because he was sick of people staring at him when he was with you? I hope you don't mind my saying so but he sounds woefully immature.

I also think you yourself are blowing this issue WAAAY out of proportion and contributing to your own misery about it. 5'4" and size 8 is normal for a 25yr old woman, and you have a heart shaped face, theres plenty women do, but how you became so focussed on your appearance is what I'm struggling to understand. People in general aren't that immature, especially in business where they're usually required to have a bit of tact.

I don't mean this to be funny or anything OP but you need to grow up a small bit and learn to ignore it when you pick up on these constant comments about your looks, I know your boyfriend didn't help matters, but that's HIS problem, not yours, best just chalk it down to experience and move on. People aren't all the superficial twats you're now given to thinking they are.

username123

Im only 5ft 2in myself and when I was your age I was only a size 8 or 10 as well. I remember in particular one pub in Dublin City centre that only let me in after I was in my 30s!

I used to just carry proper ID with me for pub/restaurant/off licence situations and other than that - feck the begrudgers.

Your ex bf - thats not a real reason, thats just something he is saying. People could just as easily be looking because you are gorgeous or because he was punching so much above his weight with you or because either of you was wearing something nice or different. Or not even looking at all. Dont be so quick to assume everyone is looking at you thinking "wow - look how young she is" - theyre not.

Im sorry to break it to you, but you are barely a blip on the landscape for most people who are going around wrapped up in their own mental world of what time to put the dinner on or what excuse for being late for work.

And without being flippant - you are 25. You ARE young. So be glad you look young, because there are plenty of haggard, old before their time, 25 year olds out there.

You need to grow up, not be so paranoid, toughen up a bit - ie, people make comments to you? Tell them to eff off.

Esoteric_

Op, I'm 24 but pass for 16 and am 5'1. I always get asked for id, even for films, and any boyfriend I had looked a good ten years older than me. But what's the issue with that?

You sound extremely insecure about how you look, given the annoyance you seem to feel about being questioned on your age.

I doubt how you look was the only reason for your ex to break things off and if it was, he's a bit of an idiot.

I'm not going to say enjoy being young because you'll love it when you're older, but I don't see why it's such a huge issue.

I look like a teenager most of the time, but I don't care and why should you?

I think you're putting way too much focus on how you look and not enough on who you are. Work on your insecurities because looking young really is a good thing. Yeah, it's annoying to carry id around, but it's not the big deal you seem to think it is.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, I was regularly asked for ID up until I was 27. I started going out with my husband when I was 22. His father asked him how old I was, because I looked so young (but knew we worked together, do knew there was nothing 'dodgy' going on). It used to embarrass me a bit.

Now I am 35, and NEVER get asked for ID. And somehow, that's worse I also suddenly look like someone in their 30s!

You are young. You look young. It's not going to last forever. I highly doubt people are 'giving you looks'. Sometimes when we are uncomfortable or insecure with things, we feel like everyone else is making an issue of it too.

The hairdresser, for example, doesn't even remember you.. yet you are bothered by something she asked in passing conversation. It's what hairdressers do!

I used to laugh it off when it happened. I never got offended, and always thought the other person would get slightly embarrassed when I'd produce my ID. Although that was probably all in MY mind, and they didn't care less!

Last time I was asked for ID was in Tesco, when I was 31. I had 3 kids who had had the chicken pox. I had spent a couple of weeks of sleepless nights and dragging myself around. When the lady at the checkout started eyeing me up, I got that familiar "here we go" feeling. And when she asked me I nearly kissed her! I think she was sorry she asked, after.I gushed out my whole chicken pox/sleepless nights/feeling wrecked story to her.;)

I got married to my husband at 25. Looking like a child. Nobody cared! They are making passing conversation, and once you've passed by, they've forgotten you.

Your bf isn't being fully honest with you.

anewme

When I was younger I always looked younger than all my friends. Even with make up, I was always the one stopped going in to pubs, clubs, the group could not go etc because of me. Im not particularly small, or very slim, just very young looking in the face.

Now, I no longer get stopped, I'm well over 40!!!! But I still look way way younger than my age and long may it continue! People always do a double take when I tell them my age. Last week some person thought I was 29! Thats pushing it a bit far I think, but if I said I was 10 years younger than my actual age, people would believe me. Met some very old school friends from my leaving cert year (over 25 years ago) a few weeks back, and I was stunned because I expect people to look the same and these people look years older than me. They said to me, you havent changed a bit and it brought it home to me how young looking I am!

It also must be in the genes, my Dad is over 70 and looks about 50, hardly a line on his face.

Its flippin great to be young looking, make the most of it!

LegacyUser

I agree with the above posts. I know a few people who look younger than there age.

Most people think I am a few years younger than my age. As I have got older I like to see people faces when I tell them my age. I have heard a few times I didn't think you were that old.
I think your boyfriend broke up with you due to more than you looking young.
After going out with you six years this is a total cop out on his part.
At this stage you need to move on and stop thinking every one thinks I am a teenager.
As you get older and meet the people you grew up with you will be thankful to look younger than they do.

Pippy1976

I'm 36 and was asked for i.d. in a supermarket recently when I was buying a bottle of wine - as us mature people are wont to do!! [Might I add that I was kept there for ages whilst the cashier grilled me about my age, meanwhile the Q grew and grew. Mortifying]

It happens to me ALOT. People always say 'isn't it great that people think you're in your 20's'. It's not great. It's extremely annoying so I know where you're coming from.

However, you need to embrace it as annoying as it gets it's a huge compliment. You are who you are. You look like you look. You cannot change it so there's no point being glum about it. It does get hard but suck it up and move on.

I think your boyfriend needed an 'out' here and that was the best he could come up with. He doesn't deserve you.

a posse ad esse

I look rather young for my age. Barely 5'1" with a babyface but it never really dawned on me until I got pregnant, I remember some of the stares and the worst was a comment from the OB/GYN when he first saw me and told me he did not work with teenage pregnancies!

I think my husband had it worse than me as he was more self conscious because he turned grey by thirty. He thought others were calling him a paedophile. What changed things for us was the moment we stopped caring. We've learned to become comfortable and confident in our own skin. Once you do that you are not going to have a care in the world what anyone else thinks.

Today I still go through with it. At work some people think I am the student or intern until they see my identity tag and it shows my position. The difference between how I would have handled it then versus now was that now I laugh it off but then I would have been upset and more self-conscious.

Lone Stone

Well im 30 and i have always looked much younger than my age and people never believe me when they find out im 30, their isnt anything i can do about it so what can ya do aye. I find it fairly annoying because women my age snub me because i look to young. And if your boyfriend dumped you because you look young for your age you really are better off with out him, its an absolutely idiotic reason to break up with some one after six years.

Pippy1976

Lone Stone wrote: »

women my age snub me because i look to young. .

I find people in work snub me because they think I'm in my mid-20's and not socialising with these young ones.. so they think I'm being anti-social. When in fact the truth of the matter is I'm ALOT older than them and have no interest in binge-drinking!

It does cause problems. I can totally understand.

Emme

OP, forget your ex, he sounds very superficial. Unfortunately you're always going to find superficial people no matter how old you are. I always looked younger than my age and when I was in my 20s I used to get chatted up by 18 and 19 year olds.

Now it's a bit different. I am in my 40s but still look young for my age. I was out last weekend and a man well into his 50s started chatting me up. So far so good until he asked me my age. I told him and he said "Oh, I thought you were about 35" and soon after that made his excuses and left. I found out afterwards that the same man makes it a point of never dating anyone of 40 or over, despite being late 50s himself. The point is that looking younger isn't necessarily beneficial when you get older either.

Perhaps your ex will grow up to be an older man who only dates women under 40. Eitherways it's never good to date a man who is obsessed with a woman being over or under a certain age.

Go to a good hairdresser and see if a more sophisticated hairstyle will make a difference. I think that looking young in your 20s can sometimes be a hindrance professionally - I always found that older looking girls seemed to get promoted faster!

BlimpGaz

username123 wrote: »

Im only 5ft 2in myself and when I was your age I was only a size 8 or 10 as well. I remember in particular one pub in Dublin City centre that only let me in after I was in my 30s!

I used to just carry proper ID with me for pub/restaurant/off licence situations and other than that - feck the begrudgers.

Try being male. I once saw a man who looked 40 get asked for ID at a club. If you're a woman of course, usually you just gotta show up and you're set; this applies to all realms of life, not just getting into clubs.

a posse ad esse

Lone Stone wrote: »

Well im 30 and i have always looked much younger than my age and people never believe me when they find out im 30, their isnt anything i can do about it so what can ya do aye. I find it fairly annoying because women my age snub me because i look to young. And if your boyfriend dumped you because you look young for your age you really are better off with out him, its an absolutely idiotic reason to break up with some one after six years.

I find it hardest with women in my age range also. They would feel that I am some sort of competition especially around work functions. These were the women that did not want to introduce me to their husbands/bfs, meanwhile I was introducing mine to everyone. My female workmates that I have become very close with are either older or younger than me. They were ones I've looked up to and the younger ones would look up to me. No matter how nice I am or hard I work it was never good enough for my age peers. Meanwhile the others were content and supportive of my work. Like I said, once I stopped caring it no longer bothered me.

OP, be assertive, confident and stop caring. Desensitising yourself is the only way forward in this world. If you take this at heart, you are going to feel down about other things. Move forward and be more positive. Find something that you are happy about yoo. Thinking this way will take a little time but believe me, once you do you will be a lot happier and comfortable in your own skin and it won't bother you anymore.

As far as your ex, even just if, it had to do with you looking too young, think of it this way, he has been with you for 6 YEARS not days, weeks or months! So all in all, it is very highly unlikely it had to do with your looks but using an excuse as stupid as that makes me think you've dodged a bullet.

Ickle Magoo

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