College

LegacyUser

I've posted here so many times before. It's so tragic it's almost funny. I'm first year in College, and ****ed up the first semester so badly there isn't a chance of me being progressed into next year. I hate it, and just can't face repeating. It's not the course, it's education in general. I can't stand being around students, I can't sit in a hall listening to lecturers I have no respect for for hours every day.

I missed most of semester 1 exams because I spent around three months in bed depressed thinking about death. The reality of my situation hitting me is pushing mme back into a depressive mess.

The thing is, I'm intelligent. I run a small business which I focus my time on but I can't get the career I want without a degree. I'm so lost, I just don't have a clue what to do. I'm coming up to exam time again, and time to plan next year. There won't be any next year in College given that I've failed everything

I'm so ****ed up and lost. Dunno what to do.

LegacyUser

Firstly go talk to your GP about your depression/suicidal thoughts. Secondly if you are intelligent enough to run a business, you should be able to get through the degree. If your spending the day in bed and not going to lectures of course your going to fail. How are you managing to keep your business alive if your staying in bed?

RossFixxxed

Hey, sorry to hear things are so bad. Let me start by saying that things CAN change. I know it seems impossible but that's the insidious lies your brain tells you when you feel this low.


Is college that important to you. Not to dismiss it or anything, but I struggled and suffered through my degree and in hindsight wasted 4 years of my life. It is worth being qualified nowadays, sure, but not when you are in such a dark place. You can always take a year out and return.

Ok so what can you do? Well firstly go and talk to the college, explain you are having issues and need time out/repeats and see what options are available. They are usually accomodating if you approach them.

Get to a doctor ASAP. I know I say this a lot but it is a big step. It's the first really positive step towards fixing this. Remember you aversion to this, averstion to meds or doctors or therapy is your brain fighting against you and fighting change. There is a paradoxical comfort in a default state of misery. You can change this. College is not the be all and end all, especially right now. Get to the doc, talk to your college and see what can be done.

Best of luck OP, there is help out there, and we're here for support if we can help at all!

ElleEm

Firstly, you should go to your GP regarding your depressive and suicidal thoughts. Everything else will seem impossible til you address those issues.

Have you considered distance learning to get your degree? You seem to have an issue with students and lecturers, so maybe learning in isolation would help you get your degree.