Brother struggling in Oz

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Just looking for advice and perspective. My brother is just over 9 months in OZ, recently he's run in to money problems, a guy he did a job for did him over and wouldn't answer his phone, leaving him out of pocket. He since borrowed money off a relative but it hasn't lasted long. He is due to start a new job, but needs to get proper clothes etc and money to live off until he gets paid. He's asked me for a lend of money. I'm really torn, i'm not exactly loaded myself but had money I was going to put in to savings I could lend him. I'll feel guilty if I don't help him out.

Mr Benevolent

Don't bother, if you hand them the money they'll just come back for more. I ran out of money in Australia and just had to come home.

judgefudge

Realistically what are the odds you'll get this money back? Considering he already owes another family member?

Generally you shouldn't lend money unless you can afford to write it off.

iusedtoknow

If you know he is part of the party scene over there, then I'd let him suffer through and come home early.
I was in Australia for a week for work last month and was pretty sickened by the irish lads I saw in Sydney, made me glad I wasn't ever part of that scene ever. One lad I spoke to came out with 10000, and was pretty close to blowing through it and "would have to get a job soon enough" to survive.

Talk to him, get a feel for what he is doing with his money, then decide from there.

DeltaWhite

Omg I could have written this post!

If you give him the money - dont expect to see it back! I'm actually so annoyed with this whole "oz life" thing because my bro is over there and I've sent him money lots of times (I am by no means on a good wage in Ireland) never got a whiff of the money back as he is struggling.

I would never turn my back on him but I'm fed up! How can oz be so great and wonderful if the cost of living is SO high? I don't get it! If you have the money to spare then go for it, but don't be leaving yourself stuck. I think it's shocking that I'm sending my money to oz, when we have f all here in Ireland.. Never again!!

LegacyUser

I've given him money as he promised he will pay it back as soon as he gets paid. In fairness to him he's been working since the get go over there and has gone off to do the farming work but there was little or no work with the monsoons over there. So I don't think its fair to describe him as being part of the party scene.He only borrowed that money last week from the other relative, so hasn't got money since. He is starting another job tomorrow. I really hope he doesn't let me down on this.

Da Shins Kelly

I'd give it to him, if I had it. You say he's starting another job, and he just needs a bit to keep him going until he gets paid. That sounds reasonable to me. It's not like he's asking to fund his lifestlye beacuse he's blowing his money. He got screwed over by an employer, which left him short, and that's pretty unfair and a sh*tty situation to be in. It doesn't sound as though he'd be asking unless he really needed it. I think it's times like this that family members should come through.

UrbanSea

Some really loving people on here. I'd give it if I had it. Probably wouldn't be that mad if my sibling didn't pay it back either, they'd help me out if I were stuck.

LegacyUser

Yeah I didn't have the heart to leave him in that situation. Hopefully for his own sake, he will try put a little bit aside when he gets paid in future.

fiona-f

I would say it depends on how much you believe he is to blame or otherwise for finding himself in this situation. If you think his story is credible and it matches with his character/maturity, then I would be more open to his request. If you think he could be exaggerating or outright lying to cover up something that his own fault, then be much more careful. It may be kinder not to lend the money if he'll be forced to learn a valuable life lesson. Or if you think he'll learn from this and be more financially astute in the future, then it could be worth you choosing to bail him out just this once. But if shows any signs of a pattern, then your help would only be enabling his behaviour and not really helping him.

To be honest, knowing nothing of the situation beyond your post, the explanations sound a little far fetched to me. In particular the fact he has already had a loan from another relative would ring alarm bells for me - before you lend anything, talk to that relative and see if his version of events matches your brother's, particularly around the amount of money concerned.


Also remember mixing money and friends or family rarely leads to happy overall outcomes. Also be fully prepared never to see a penny of the money again, there are no guarantees whatsoever. You clearly a savvy person if you have put aside savings from a small income. Think carefully before deciding. Remember, money does not equal love and if you have any doubts, then don't let your love for your brother guilt you into something you're unsure of.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

If you have the money and you want to give it to him, why not give it to him? I'm assuming you can manage to give it and that you like him and he's not some sort of horrible person who regularly does you out of money.

Helping your brother is a no-brainer I would have tought.

LegacyUser

fiona-f wrote: »

I would say it depends on how much you believe he is to blame or otherwise for finding himself in this situation. If you think his story is credible and it matches with his character/maturity, then I would be more open to his request. If you think he could be exaggerating or outright lying to cover up something that his own fault, then be much more careful. It may be kinder not to lend the money if he'll be forced to learn a valuable life lesson. Or if you think he'll learn from this and be more financially astute in the future, then it could be worth you choosing to bail him out just this once. But if shows any signs of a pattern, then your help would only be enabling his behaviour and not really helping him.

To be honest, knowing nothing of the situation beyond your post, the explanations sound a little far fetched to me. In particular the fact he has already had a loan from another relative would ring alarm bells for me - before you lend anything, talk to that relative and see if his version of events matches your brother's, particularly around the amount of money concerned.


Also remember mixing money and friends or family rarely leads to happy overall outcomes. Also be fully prepared never to see a penny of the money again, there are no guarantees whatsoever. You clearly a savvy person if you have put aside savings from a small income. Think carefully before deciding. Remember, money does not equal love and if you have any doubts, then don't let your love for your brother guilt you into something you're unsure of.

Best of luck.

Think you've misread something somewhere. The loan from the relative was just over a week ago, he has only just secured a job which is why he needs more money until he gets paid. It was me he spoke to first when he needed money so I know the score. Your right I do let me "guilt" cloud my decisions some times, but I genuinely think he'll pay me back.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, as you have already given the money to your brother and you are confident he will pay you back as soon as he can, I will lock the thread, as your original issue is resolved.