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It's All Been For Nothing

  • 18-04-2013 9:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Single dad fights over 5 years to be in his child's life. During that time has been in court oer 40 times. Child's mother and family do everything to keep them separate...een going so far as disappearing for nearly a year. All throughout this the dad does everything he can to support his child and keep sane and balanced and work his a$$ off and do everything he can to be a good dad even when the courts only give him every 2nd weekend for the mums' sake. Then mum gets permission to leave country and despite her and her family's cruel comments and texts and surveillances and blatant lies and the emotional turmoil they put the child through, they win and dad loses appeal and off they go, happy as larry.

    dad searches for jobs across the pond and finds none that can sustain him and allow him financially support son. Mum ignores texts. Solicitors are ineffective at best. Judges shrug. This is hell. True utter hell.

    Friends, family, counsellors, meditation, CBT, thorough self-esteem-boosting through sheer force of will...and yet its an inevitable slide. Child will hate dad thanks to things family will tell him. Child loves dad now but weeps and runs at pickups. Child is the true victim. And laws are the enablers.

    What to do. How to continue and stay in control. Know all is lost and worse to come. Some dads walk away from the wars and tensions for their health and their child's peace of mind. That would kill this dad. But living abroad dad is a title. Job taken away.

    Judges shrug.

    And so it goes.

    Anyone else been here and found light at the end of the tunnel, please tell me. I'm not suicidal. I'm rock bottom. Broke from court fees, broken from court battles. Exhausted. Did everything for my child and look how evil prevails.


Comments

  • #2
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    I kind of know what you mean OP as my brother went through similar.

    All I can say is you may have lost the battle but NOT the war. I would keep trying to maintain links with your child. I'm not sure from your OP whether you and the child are in the same country or not. Make every effort to make yourself available, and traceable.

    Just remember - Children won't always be small. One of these days, your child may very well come looking for you. When that happens, and they're emotionally ready, I would show them every single piece of documentation showing how much effort you've made in trying to remain in child's life.

    As an aside. In my brother's case. My mother went to court to get visitation rights. The child suffered physically as well as emotionally as my brother was badly missed by the child. The child used to make themselves sick through crying for the father every night. In the end, it got sorted (can't remember how), and there is regular contact now.

    Don't give up, OP. You need to remain strong for your child.


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