Going on holidays alone-stigma?

Wanderer2010

Do you think there is still a stigma towards people who go on holidays alone as being sad or pathetic and that its not a real holiday? Its true that I wouldnt have a bucket of friends but even the ones I have gone on a few holidays with, its been hard what with their work commitments, agreeing on a place etc. I have gone to New Zealand and China alone and loved it, and this year Im forced to go alone to a few places in Europe but I still love seeing the sights, sampling the food etc.

I admit your nightlife can be a bit limited when alone but all my holidays alone have been great and very enjoyable, yet I still get a few raised eyebrows and mutters of "Id NEVER go on holiday alone" when I mention this, but I cant help it if my mates cant commit, does anyone else think there is a stigma to holidaying alone??

frozenfrozen

No it's fine just go have a good time and on the plus side you don't have to be with people you don't really like. If you have nobody you want to bring there's no point bringing a token friend

DoozerT6

I'm not sure about holidaying alone - I have however lived, studied and worked abroad alone. That's one thing, you kinda have to immerse yourself in the local culture etc. to make a few friends and make your way while you're there. But holidays? If I was just going to be ambling around for a week or two seeing the sights, personally I think I'd want someone with me. I spend enough time alone at home, it might be nice to share the experiences you'd have on holidays with someone else. JMO though. You may love holidaying alone if your normal life at home is frenetic, and full of other people and their demands. Mine is fairly quiet, so I think I'd need someone with me to offset feeling a bit lonely.

SouthTippBass

Nothing wrong with it. I would prefer to be with other people, its twice as enjoyable when its a shared experiance. But if you're going to be always waiting for other people to go somewhere, you would never go anywhere.

So, where you off to this time?

ElChe32

I've done a bit of adventuring by myself in Latin America and in Europe, also did a few friends holidays and tbh I found going by myself a much more relaxing and fun time. I guess I consider myself pretty outgoing so when I went solo I threw myself into the new culture and met some fantastic people. Friends holidays can get pretty hectic at times, not everyone on the same page...(don't get me started on going with my ex). I never thought there was much of a stigma attached unless you're a middle aged man off to notorious sex-touristy hotspots.

boomshakalaka

I have traveled alone and loved it every time. I have always found it easy to meet people and go out with them when traveling alone so I wouldn't be on my own all the time anyway. Usually staying in a hostel helps in that situation. I have been on holidays with friends that were just as much fun. I do think traveling on your own is also helps you getting to know the real you.

This is also how I ended up in Ireland for which I'm grateful every day ;-) you're such a fun people

SmilingLurker

No problem at all with it, travelled and worked and holidayed alone many times. Met great people who are friends more than 10 years later. Now I holiday with my wife and kids, different fun... I am glad I did both.

seven_eleven

No there is no stigma at all..


/thread

BillyMitchel

Nah going on your on is great craic, don't have to listen to anyone. Don't have to think of others when you're making plans and you can do what the fock you want without people knowing back home.

I'd give my right ball to go away on my own again for a couple of months.

dd972

Why is it when someone is dissed for this or for example being on their own in a pub that an assumption is made that the person in question is on their Bob Todd 24/7/365 and they don't have family,partners, friends, acquaintances or work colleagues like everyone else?

NothingMan

SouthTippBass wrote: »

I would prefer to be with other people, its twice as enjoyable when its a shared experiance.

I couldn't disagree more, but different strokes et al.

I interrailed alone when I was 20 and was one of the best experiences I've ever had. Met people I'd never have met otherwise and went places I wanted to without compromise. Since been to Oz and travelled a bit alone before the gf joined me and was unreal too.

Saying that, I wouldn't want to go on a sun holiday alone... or at all really. Always had more fun travelling cities and scapes than sitting by a pool for a week.

wp_rathead

boomshakalaka wrote: »

I have traveled alone and loved it every time. I have always found it easy to meet people and go out with them when traveling alone so I wouldn't be on my own all the time anyway. Usually staying in a hostel helps in that situation. I have been on holidays with friends that were just as much fun. I do think traveling on your own is also helps you getting to know the real you.

This is also how I ended up in Ireland for which I'm grateful every day ;-) you're such a fun people

I don't know why, but I'v always really hated that phrase of "finding yourself"
But yes op, I think you are right to say that there are some people can't get their heads around people travelling on their own, but wouldn't let it stop you- as the thread shows plenty people do it
I also wouldn't go as far as to say there is a "stigma" as such

boomshakalaka

wprathead wrote: »

I don't know why, but I'v always really hated that phrase of "finding yourself"
But yes op, I think you are right to say that there are some people can't get their heads around people travelling on their own, but wouldn't let it stop you- as the thread shows plenty people do it
I also wouldn't go as far as to say there is a "stigma" as such

I know it sounds terribly cliche, but it's true. Suppose that's because I started at pretty young age, I think it really shaped me.

shopaholic01

I like the idea of going on holiday alone. The days would be great, go do and see what you want.

I don't think I could handle the nights though. I can't see myself enjoying going to a pub or restaurant alone.

Spanish Harlem

I must admit that I think it's odd for people to go on holidays alone. Imagine seeing the beauty of Niagara Falls for the first time...and you've no one to share it with. Nobody to take a picture of you so you awkwardly intrude on other couples to ask for a photo. You have a stupid grin on your face but you're crying inside. You eat in Mcdonalds to spare yourself the embarrassment of asking for a "table for one." You rush back to the grubby hostel in shame and cry yourself to sleep as the other loved up couples are heading out for the night. They'll awaken you later when they scream in ecstasy from banging each others brains out. They'll whisper a muttered "sorry" the next day as you discover the hardened cum stains that accidentally got on your shirt from their antics last night.

checkyabadself

Are you Jack Reacher?

BillyMitchel

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I like the idea of going on holiday alone. The days would be great, go do and see what you want.

I don't think I could handle the nights though. I can't see myself enjoying going to a pub or restaurant alone.

I'd feel a bit out of place sitting at a table on my own but sitting at the bar is and can be great craic. Getting chatting to the workers and other randomers at the bar and go knows what could happen.

Done it for years traveling about and only have happy good stories of bars on my own.

God I hate being a grown up

Manc-Red

I worked with a bloke who went to Spain on his own, brought his work-jacket with him with company logo on it & got some random to take a photo of him on the beach with it on, a pair of Speedo swimming thingys on & wellington boots.....

He had it emailed back to the Boss the Sad Bast*rd too :rolleyes:

shopaholic01

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I'd feel a bit out of place sitting at a table on my own but sitting at the bar is and can be great craic. Getting chatting to the workers and other randomers at the bar and go knows what could happen.

Done it for years traveling about and only have happy good stories of bars on my own.

God I hate being a grown up

A woman on her own in the bar talking to strangers - I'd look like a hooker!

BillyMitchel

Spanish Harlem wrote: »

I must admit that I think it's odd for people to go on holidays alone. Imagine seeing the beauty of Niagara Falls for the first time...and you've no one to share it with. Nobody to take a picture of you so you awkwardly intrude on other couples to ask for a photo. You have a stupid grin on your face but you're crying inside. You eat in Mcdonalds to spare yourself the embarrassment of asking for a "table for one." You rush back to the grubby hostel in shame and cry yourself to sleep as the other loved up couples are heading out for the night. They'll awaken you later when they scream in ecstasy from banging each others brains out. They'll whisper a muttered "sorry" the next day as you discover the hardened cum stains that accidentally got on your shirt from their antics last night.

Why do you care so much about what other people may or maybe not be thinking?

Manc-Red

shopaholic01 wrote: »

A woman on her own in the bar talking to strangers - I'd look like a hooker!

Never quite understood why girls I know wouldn't go into a bar on their own for a quiet one??

Daveysil15

I've done it a few times. Like the OP, I don't always have someone to go with, but its still great to get away and see the world. I've met some great people in bars over the years in foreign cities. Walking tours are another great way to meet people.

I agree with NothingMan; I'd have fun travelling cities and scapes than sitting by a pool for a week. Plus when you travel alone you can go exactly where you want.

LadyMayBelle

There's quite a difference from going to China or New Zealand for a while on holidays and going to, say, Malaga for a week. I've travelled alone and wouldn't be bothered in countries where you've got to join groups or stay in hostels but honestly I'd feel a bit lonely going to a resort for ten days on my own when pretty much everyone else is in families/couples/friend groups. Going to a city would be a bit different again but it'd be nice to share the experience with someone.

BillyMitchel

shopaholic01 wrote: »

A woman on her own in the bar talking to strangers - I'd look like a hooker!

No you wouldn't! You might get lots of attention alright but doesn't necessarily mean its going to be bloke after bloke annoying you. I've met loads of friends from sitting on bar stools

Spanish Harlem

Nothing worse when the "hostel loner" tries to attach himself to your group and insists on tagging along to everything. I actually had to tell one awkward goofball to fúck off last time I was on holidays with my mates.

Daveysil15

Spanish Harlem wrote: »

I must admit that I think it's odd for people to go on holidays alone. Imagine seeing the beauty of Niagara Falls for the first time...and you've no one to share it with. Nobody to take a picture of you so you awkwardly intrude on other couples to ask for a photo. You have a stupid grin on your face but you're crying inside. You eat in Mcdonalds to spare yourself the embarrassment of asking for a "table for one." You rush back to the grubby hostel in shame and cry yourself to sleep as the other loved up couples are heading out for the night. They'll awaken you later when they scream in ecstasy from banging each others brains out. They'll whisper a muttered "sorry" the next day as you discover the hardened cum stains that accidentally got on your shirt from their antics last night.

WTF? How would that happen? I suppose you'd give them a round of applause only you can't clap with one hand. :pac:

The Backwards Man

I always go on holidays on my own. Why would you want to go holiday with someone you see all year, it's like taking a ham sandwich to McDonalds.

shopaholic01

Manc-Red wrote: »

Never quite understood why girls I know wouldn't go into a bar on their own for a quiet one??

I suppose because we're not used to it. I would feel very self-conscious. I don't know if I would feel safe if I didn't know anyone and had to back to the hotel alone.

BillyMitchel wrote: »

No you wouldn't! You might get lots of attention alright but doesn't necessarily mean its going to be bloke after bloke annoying you. I've met loads of friends from sitting on bar stools

Misspent youth.

shopaholic01

Spanish Harlem wrote: »

Nothing worse when the "hostel loner" tries to attach himself to your group and insists on tagging along to everything. I actually had to tell one awkward goofball to fúck off last time I was on holidays with my mates.

You sound delightful.

Daveysil15

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I suppose because we're not used to it. I would feel very self-conscious. I don't know if I would feel safe if I didn't know anyone and had to back to the hotel alone.

I suppose for a woman it wouldn't be as safe to travel alone in general. I don't know any women that have travelled alone. I think its something guys would be more inclined to do.

As for what people might think of you, I don't care as I'm in a foreign city where nobody knows me. Overall I would say the experiences of travelling alone have made me come out of my shell. I meet more people than what I would travelling with friends. It was daunting doing it the first time, but now I don't mind.

Miss Lockhart

There are definitely still people who think it's strange or wrong. If anything I find them weird. They're usually the clingy dependent type who need somebody else to make all their decisions - wouldn't even join a club or a class on their own.

Most people just wouldn't enjoy the experiences as much by themselves so it doesn't appeal to them. That's understandable and totally different from the needy types who can't do anything on their own. I think they stigmatise solo holidays to cover up their own insecurities.

shopaholic01

Has anyone ever gone on the group holidays? You meet up and can then decide whether to spend time on your own or with others.

It would be the best of both worlds.

Daveysil15

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Has anyone ever gone on the group holidays? You meet up and can then decide whether to spend time on your own or with others.

It would be the best of both worlds.

Not exactly, but I went to Poland alone for a week and I met up with a couple of guys that I used to work with. I spent a couple of days with them at a concert, and then spent the rest of the holiday on my own. I met some nice Polish birds in a bar, and an old man who told me about his war stories. Twas a great holiday.

Legs.Eleven

I'm on holidays alone right now!! Having a ball!!

bnt

I've been going on holidays by myself for years, and only realised how much I took it for granted when I went on holiday with friends a couple of years ago. I don't drive, so when I go somewhere, I use public transport and walk a lot, and that's what I like. My friends don't like that - they rent a car and drive everywhere. They're just not used to walking more than short distances, so I would head out by myself, just to see places at "pedestrian speed", rather than seeing them in the rear view mirror. :cool:

Tugboats

I'm a sex tourist and holiday alone 3 times per year. Love it

The Backwards Man

Tugboats wrote: »

I'm a sex tourist and holiday alone 3 times per year. Love it

I'm a normal tourist and have sex three times a year. Love it.:)

The Backwards Man

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I'm a normal tourist and have sex alone three times a year. Love it.:)

FYP

Darkwarriorcok

i have tot ravel quite a bit for work, sometimes spend weekends away, alone is grand, nighttime can be somewhat crap at times but then you can find a decent bar and settle in and chill out. Was easier in my younger days, didn't give a fcuk, i was single then too Late 30's now, attached, its alright, miss clubbing though ha

Just go and have a ball, he who worries is a fool, judge them and not let them judge you!

discus

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You sound delightful.

It's unfortunate, but having spent quite a bit of times travelling and staying in youth hostels, there's a large enough proportion of lone travellers who are just weird. Me and my mates have a policy of inviting nearly everyone out with us for drinks, trips, or even to the next country, but there are quite a few who impose themselves on you so much that it can be uncomfortable. One or two we had to lie to, and claim we were doing X and staying with mates, no space etc, just to shake them, if I recall. The weirdest ones are nearly always heavy pot smokers and tend to be shady about their past!

Tugboats

Tugboats wrote: »

I'm a sex tourist and holiday alone 3 times per year. Love it

Can't figure out if you're being refreshingly grown up and honest, or if you're taking the p*ss

Fr D Maugire

If I waited on other people to co-ordinate things so we could go travelling together, I would have been to very few places. As it is, I have traveled extensively on my own.

I have also traveled with other people and done the odd group tour and there are definite pros and cons to each one. It does get lonely sometimes on your own and shared experiences can be better but then I find people in other countries are more likely to talk to you if you are by yourself. Not having bust-up's/arguments is definitely the big plus to doing it by yourself and doing what you want of course.

Groups can be very good but depends on the make-up of the group. I hated the group I was with on the Inca trail as it consisted of sub-groups with yours truly the sole loner. I done another group tour later in the same adventure and they were a great bunch of people.

I don't think travelling alone is strange but do I get the "Are you crazy" or "I could never do that" from other people a lot.

languagenerd

Went to Paris on my own for nearly a month when I was 19, and it was one of the best trips I've ever gone on. I was doing a language degree for which we had to spend a certain amount of time in countries where the languages were spoken. The person I was supposed to go with had made too many other plans already and couldn't sort out a good time to go, so I said feck it and went anyway.

So glad I did it - really learned to stand on my own two feet and not to care what people thought of me. I signed up for French lessons four times a week and spent the rest of the time wandering around with my camera and map, drinking coffee in random cafes, reading in parks and joining walking tours. Even so, I met a few people in the classes, and a couple of friends who lived in other parts of France came to meet up for the day, so I wasn't on my own all the time.

I love travelling with friends too, but sometimes if you wait for other people to get their act together, you'll never end up going. And I'd rather go alone and have the experience than never do it at all!

sadie06

I would literally love to go on holiday alone! When you have a young family and a husband, that really would raise eyebrows!

In all seriousness, it wouldn't bother me what other people think. I went to gigs non-stop by myself in my early twenties and a lot of people thought I was crazy, but I would have missed out on some great nights if I hadn't.

I saw a poster in Gigs & Events lamenting having to get rid of his/her Alt-J tickets a few nights ago coz they had nobody to go with. I just could not get my head around why he/she didn't go alone.

Keep travelling and don't give a second thought to what other people think!

Lucena

sadie06 wrote: »

I would literally love to go on holiday alone! When you have a young family and a husband, that really would raise eyebrows!

In all seriousness, it wouldn't bother me what other people think. I went to gigs non-stop by myself in my early twenties and a lot of people thought I was crazy, but I would have missed out on some great nights if I hadn't.

I saw a poster in Gigs & Events lamenting having to get rid of his/her Alt-J tickets a few nights ago coz they had nobody to go with. I just could not get my head around why he/she didn't go alone.

Keep travelling and don't give a second thought to what other people think!

Yes, people will find it strange, and two minutes later they'll be talking about something else. I'm in a relationship, but sometimes go on holiday alone, and my OH goes on holiday without me, albeit with her friends.

She does have colleagues who find it strange, but these tend to be the boring "I do everything with my wife/husband" and when you scratch the surface you find out they actually do sod all.

It's actually surprising the amount of people who seem to think that being in a relationship means having to do everything together.

dd972

ElChe32 wrote: »

. I never thought there was much of a stigma attached unless you're a middle aged man off to notorious sex-touristy hotspots.

Oh, there's a stigma attached to that is there? I wondered why everyone keep's avoiding me in the pub

keith16

Sometimes the best company is your own.

I say this as a bindle-wielding hobo.

Quite a lot of positivity in this thread so far. Most ppl seem to agree that it's normal and cool to go alone.

Get the feeling like that reflects the fact that ppl like us are on Boards.ie on a Saturday night

The "mainstream" crowd are out gallivanting tonight, and I'm sure if this were on Monday evening there'd be a whole lot of negativity going on

Oh well, for once at least I feel vindicated in going interrailing on my own a few years ago, as well as a couple of chill out sun holidays.

At the time I felt like a freakshow "table for one" saddo, but now I think I was actually brave to get up and do it.

No regrets obviously I'm glad I did it, but at the time I found it tough

Son Of A Vidic

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I'd give my right ball to go away on my own again for a couple of months.

Out of interest, how did you lose the left ball?

JohnMearsheimer

I've gone on holidays with family, friends, my girlfriend and once by myself. I've enjoyed all of them but I especially enjoyed when I went on my own. I travelled in the US for 3 months on my own. I spent a lot of time on trains and buses going nowhere in particular with all the time in the world to do it. I quite enjoyed having all that time to myself to be honest. Travelling with others means you usually have to make compromises on what you want to see and do to please everyone. Going alone allowed me to do what I wanted when I wanted, it was nice for a change.

BillyMitchel

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Out of interest, how did you lose the left ball?

He's still hanging around but he's my fav because he's that little bit bigger.