Keeping strong during partners cancer treatment

Jackeenbeag

Has anybody any tips for keeping strong and remaining positive during a partners cancer battle?

Both early 30s, diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. Prognosis is good.

Have been doing great up until recently, but now I think she's going through the anger/resentment/bad form stage.

And seems anything I do I get sniped at, given out to etc even though I'm doing nothing at all.

Is this part of the process?

I've been taking everything so far, keeping quite, but am struggling now.

Anybody got any tips?

Thanks

CathyMoran

Am coming from the other side though mine had a very poor prognosis, I was also in my early 30's at the time.

I do not remember the chemo, my husband still gets upset about it as it was very tough.

I do remember being relieved when we had a row as I felt that we were both walking on egg shells - we did have a good laugh afterwards.

You are being goid supporting them but they will let you know how much they appreciate you, this bad time will pass - they probably just want to be normal or the new normal for a short while?

The Princess Bride

Hi JackeenBeag-

What your partner is going through is a perfectly normal reaction to her illness.This doesn't make it any easier for you,or her- but there is a huge amount of support for her/you.
Reading the following might help you realise what she is going through.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/278518-stages-of-cancer-grief/

And hopefully ,you might find support in your locality from the following.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=76512046

If not, www.cancer.ie

Best of luck and make some time to take care of yourself too.

Mutz

Hi JackeenBeag,

I'm in my very early thirties and in December I was diagnosed with metastatic (moved around body) cancer. In other words, its everywhere. The chemo is holding the cancer but I will never be free of it. I'm nearly finished my first round of chemo, and will need another round of chemo (and possibly more thereafter).

Since my diagnosis, I have gone through all sorts of emotions from anger, sadness, feelings of letting my loved ones who depend on me down etc. I also find it very hard to think about the future. After every consultation, I seem to receive mixed news. It really is an emotional roller coaster. It usually takes me a few days to get my head to come to terms with the new news.

I have a very supportive partner and communication is great between us. I do not know where I would be without my partner. You are very important to your partner JackeenBeag. You must remain strong for her and always be willing to listen.

Trust me, you have to carry on as normal as long as you keep the channels of communication OPEN FULLY. You both must tell each other how you are feeling. Even if you are píssed off with her, tell her - but make sure you resolve both of your hurt by the end of the conversation. It will make her feel normal again and it will probably be a relief for you both. This will help both of you to cope with her illness.

It is great that her prognosis is good. She is one of the lucky ones.

As for staying positive, its up to the individual. Try to lead as normal a life as the illness will allow, such as bringing her out for dinner, socialising, cinema, beach walking etc.

Try and set goals with exercise. If, say for example, you both enjoy walking. If she is weak at the moment but trying to regain her fitness, try to set a goal by distance on each walk.

I wish your partner the best of luck with her treatment and I hope you are managing ok yourself.

Best regards.

M.