fas course tutors making my mild depression worse

gerryd2

Thanks for the advice everyone.

Taltos

OP - for what it's worth I think you are doing brilliantly but your post is very heavy on what other people may/are thinking.

You know what.
Focus on attending the course and getting your payments.
As to what everyone else might be thinking you need to force yourself not to care one whit. I really do mean that. Put all thoughts of them out of your head.

Ignore the looks, or the stares. Ignore the whispers or anything else.
Just go in there - proud in your accomplishments. Hold your head high and paint a calm happy smile on your face. Let them see that irrespective of anything else you are there to learn and are happy to be there.

In terms of the woman you had the crush on, it might have threatened her job to start anything with you so really you cannot fault her for now just being professional. Either way - look at it as her loss...

Do try to get back to your GP though and see if anything can be done to hurry your medical card.

gerryd2

Thanks for the advice. I try ignoring the looks and all the whispers but subconsciously they creep in after awhile. As for the crush. She found out from someone in the class. I already new nothing would ever happen I just admire the person she is. I know shes being professional but I also don't want to affect the job she has to do.

Taltos

There you go again
You are not going to affect her job - unless you choose to.
What you can do is choose not to - so once more - when these thoughts creep in you need a trigger / tool to refocus your thinking.

Anything will do - focus on a memory, place, something you plan to do. You need to break this chain of circular thinking.
Picture it -
Now: doing ok - remember X - feel sad - start on route of thinking as you are - affecting her job - guilt - feel worse and it spirals.
Or
Later: doing ok - remember X - feel sad - recognise what is happening - force yourself to imagine sunny beach... - break cycle..

Look - this is not a quick fix - this is going to take time and commitment from you. You basically need to retrain how you tackle events, almost rewiring your though processes. Somedays you will slip, but the key thing is to stick with it. In my case I use a trigger word - something ridiculous - and I have to say it aloud or at least loud enough for me to hear it - but for me it works...

Last thing
You cannot control others
You can only control how you react...

gerryd2

Thanks a lot Taltos. That was great advice. I do over think things a lot. I'm going to focus on something that's happy to me whenever dumb thoughts pop up. I know it will take practice. Cheers mate.

Catphish

gerryd2 wrote: »

I do over think things a lot. I'm going to focus on something that's happy to me whenever dumb thoughts pop up. I know it will take practice. Cheers mate.

Even if you have moments of mild depression, this comes hand and hand with anxiety more often than not. I think this has a lot to do with your thinking everyone is looking at you.

Admittedly, if the news did get back to a lecturer that you'd feelings for her, I'd say all she could do is try to take the best possible approach and reel it in a bit in terms of how friendly she is with you, just to protect her career.


I think you are over thinking things, and I think it would be a good idea to mention your feelings above on the social side of things. I'm sure this will pass, but your course is important as it may open some avenues for you career wise. With that in mind, mention all you've said to the doctor and they'd be accurately able to advise you. Stick with the course, it would be a shame to see you drop out. You've come this far already