Does this mean he's not interested?

Timmythedonkey

Went on a date last Saturday night and met him on an online dating site. The night went really well and we hit it off! Lot's in common, open conversation and there was a spark! Before we parted company on Saturday night we arranged to meet this coming weekend but didn't write anything in stone as to when and where. We text on Sunday saying how much we enjoyed last night. It's now Wed and I haven't heard a word from him - I was tempted to text him tommorrow just saying hi how is your week going but my friend thinks I shouldn't! What do you think?

littleblackDRS

If I was you I'd text him. He's probably thinking the same thing as you! If you want to see him again, let him know!

judgefudge

Well it's only 2pm on Wednesday, so I'd give it more time. But if you feel like texting him for a chat do! Don't over think things.

ibarelycare

Why wouldn't you text him? He doesn't have to make the first move just because he's the man Go for it, beats waiting around!!

AnonoBoy

Of course it doesn't.

You went out and had fun. It's only a few days later.

He's probably afraid of coming on too strong and seeming too keen and scaring you off.

Drop him a text tomorrow and say hi.

sffc

I'm wondering how often you chatted on the site or texted before you actually met . With girls I've actually met off POF I've been chatting for a few days to a week or two beforehand . Almost everyday contact in most cases so a gap of three days would be weird . But that's just me !

In this case I think you have to say to yourself "what's the harm in texting tonight?" . I understand you don't want to appear too keen but hey you have a life ! You might have got an invite off a mate and not know the story - nudge nudge .

Strange idea in 2013 I know but you can actually talk to someone on the phone ! CALL him tonight, see how he's doing and throw in the subject of weekend plans . If you are good together it shouldn't be awkward . If he doesn't want to meet again let him be embarressed and tongue tied - he should have told you days ago . If he does he'll make sure to pin it all down . If he dodges the issue and won't commit by a weds night I'd be back online looking for a new date ;-)

Meauldsegosha

If you want to text him, text him. It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. And it shouldn't be up to him to text first just because he is a man.

Timmythedonkey

Thanks for the replies, Just to clarify I sent the initial text on Sunday and this is why my friend think's I should now let him text me. Personally I have no problem phoning or texting him but I suppose I don't wanna seem too keen! I think I'll hang on till tomorrow.

Merkin

So you sent the text on Sunday after being out to say you enjoyed yourself etc. Did he mention then about meeting up or was it only mentioned on the Saturday when you were out?

Dark Phoenix

Timmythedonkey wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, Just to clarify I sent the initial text on Sunday and this is why my friend think's I should now let him text me. Personally I have no problem phoning or texting him but I suppose I don't wanna seem too keen! I think I'll hang on till tomorrow.

See I have to be honest your friends kind of thinking melts my head. Relationships and friendships should not involve 'rules' about who texts first and who initiated the last text. if you want to text him, text him! If you don't then don't but bear in mind he could be there wondering if he will hear from you too.

That the problem with these 'rules' women dream up - if both sides followed them no one would ring / text anyone :rolleyes:

neveah

I agree with your friend, if you initiated texting on Sunday then it's his turn to come back to you.

In the very early stages don't initiate all the texts, let him come half way and make some effort too, it's only fair.

If a guy likes you he will text you, if he does want to meet up again he will contact you.

strobe

Jesus this kind of thing comes up so often...

... You know how many guys have gotten a message saying 'hi, how's your week going? ' from a girl they've an interest in and thought "wow, that was way too soon for her to text me, I'm not interested anymore"..?
Six.
Six guys.
And I don't mean six guys I know, or even six guys alive today... I mean six guys in the entire time since human beings have been walking the face of the planet. That's it. Just six. And 5 of them were paranoid schizophrenics.
Men really do not care, or most of the time even notice. Not a jot. It's a thing girls care about and think, for some weird ass reason, that men think about.
For the love of god just text him. If he's not interested he's not interested, but there is not a tiny little snowballs chance in the most white hot corner of the hottest Hell that if he is in anyway even slightly interested that texting him 'too early' to say hi will make him uninterested. Unless he's some lunatic anomaly.

sffc

I think OP your real fear is that you'll appear so keen by texting first that he'll go out with you at the weekend not because he really wants to but because he feels he feels guilted into it . Also you probably want him too chase you a little and even though I'm a guy I get that .
That's why I think a phonecall is better than texting . The tone of a person's voice , the hesitation or lack of it in their speech are things text doesn't give . You should quickly find out if that warmth and spark from the initial date is still there . If this is all too daunting just remember that guys have been making calls like this for years !
Your other option is to sit tight and wait for his text/call - the traditional female role . Realistically if he doesn't get in touch by Friday night he's not bothered and you need to say "back to the drawing board " . Sometimes one party on a date thinks it went fantastically while the other feels no spark - that's life .

***Please please do not turn down any invites or not make any plans for the weekend just in case he calls *****

Emme

sffc wrote: »

***Please please do not turn down any invites or not make any plans for the weekend just in case he calls *****

Excellent advice

Greenduck

I dunno. I agree that it shouldn't matter who does the texting first or when and most men probably wouldn't mind but if OP has initiated the last text, I would be inclined to let him text this time.

He knows you enjoyed yourself and had a good time so there's no reason why he wouldn't. He's probably having a similar convo with himself right now and trying to play it a bit cool.