Online dating etiquette

LegacyUser

Having met someone online we agreed together to delete our online profiles.

Now that things between us haven't worked out I want to start dating again & I know that I am the first to go back online. We are still friendly and do chat.

Should I tell my ex? Ultimately when they go back online they will see my profile is active so I don't know if forewarning is correct etiquette or rubbing their face in it.

Meauldsegosha

If you met a guy in a pub would you tell your ex? If yes, then tell him you're putting up a new profile.

That's how I would think about it. I don't think there is any OD etiquette.

The Big Red Button

Is there an option of blocking the person on the website you're using?

LegacyUser

No I can't block them because there profile is still deleted.
I'd kind of feel like I was making a huge issue of it if I went to that length to hide it from them too.

Maybe I'll just wait & see if I meet anyone I like & take it from there if I need to tell the ex

sffc

Are we talking POF?

StickyIcky

If this person is totally clear its over between you two then surely its understood your single and you can date who you want and flirt how you want and date where and how you want.

Or am I just being logical again?

*rollseyes*

Esoteric_

To add to what the others have said -

The only reason she'll find out you're back on an online dating site is if she herself logs into her account, in which case you'll have no need to tell her as she'll be back on the dating site herself so what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Merkin

You're overthinking this, you don't need to say anything.

sffc

It shouldn't bother you but it does - fair enough . Won't lecture . Easiest way is to create a totally new profile (I'm presuming POF here ) and tick the box which makes you invivsible in searches .

NB :If you simply reactivate an old profile and do this it's no good . Your ex can still click on your details if they still have messages from you in their inbox .

By being invisible in searches nobody will see you or come to you unless you go to them first . Not sure if that's a downside or not . Some prefer it that way all the time ! I'm willing to bet that within a few weeks you'll see your ex on the site too . Then you can simply block them and lift the invisibilty if that's what you want .

Totally unneccessary but said I wouldn't lecture !

tan11ie

Does it really matter, I'm sure you both broke up because you didn't want to be with one another? So what's the big deal if he sees your profile active? unless he still has feelings for you?

As others have said you maybe over thinking it.....happy dating

Stavro Mueller

Why would you say anything I mean, if you go onto an online dating site doesn't it generally mean you want to date someone? And if it doesn't work out between you and the person you met online, it puts you both back to square one again. Both single and both wanting to meet someone. I don't see what the big deal is here at all.

Lenmeister

StickyIcky wrote: »

Or am I just being logical again?

*rollseyes*

lol!

You're finished with him. It's none of his business what you do with your online profile. There's no such thing as etiquette towards someone you have no relation to.

You shouldn't tell him becuase he's no longer in the picture. You can't rub somebodys face in it if you have no relation to that person any longer. Do what you will, your single now.

mood

If things are really over and you are now only friends then you shouldn't feel obliged to tell her you are going back to internet dating. But if it comes up in conversation don't lie to her.

DoozerT6

OP, that's how online dating works. I'm sure your ex will not be in the least bit surprised to see your profile active again, after all you met online, it didn't work out, so why on earth shouldn't you go back online to try again? I'm sure they will!! There really is no need for etiquette here, that is simply how it works. And you don't have to 'tell' them you're back online or dating someone else - they're your ex!! There is no need for their approval/permission to move on with your life.