Is it possible?

Iano_128 · 08-04-2013 5:50pm #1

Hi guys,
I'll keep this short and sweet.. Do you think it's possible to be bisexual/curious, or believe that it's a phase on the way to realising what you are?

face1990 · 08-04-2013 6:33pm

I think sexuality is a spectrum, rather than a black & white 'gay or straight'. So in that respect I think most people are bisexual to some extent or another.
That said, a lot of people go through a bisexual 'phase' which helps them realise which gender their preference is for (and how strong their preference is).

Iano_128 · 08-04-2013 6:34pm

face1990 wrote: »

I sexuality is a spectrum, rather than a black & white 'gay or straight'. So in that respect I think most people are bisexual to some extent or another.
That said, a lot of people go through a bisexual 'phase' which helps them realise which gender their preference is for (and how strong their preference is).

Good answer :-) thanks v much!

Annasopra · 08-04-2013 10:12pm

Iano_128 wrote: »

Hi guys,
I'll keep this short and sweet.. Do you think it's possible to be bisexual/curious, or believe that it's a phase on the way to realising what you are?

Yes - human sexuality is a spectrum. Some people can have a fixed identity their whole life. some people can go through curious phases. some people can be straight for a long time and then suddenly realise they are gay. Some people might be bisexual but fall in love with a person regardless of gender

playedalive · 28-05-2013 9:33am

face1990 wrote: »

I think sexuality is a spectrum, rather than a black & white 'gay or straight'. So in that respect I think most people are bisexual to some extent or another.
That said, a lot of people go through a bisexual 'phase' which helps them realise which gender their preference is for (and how strong their preference is).

mango salsa wrote: »

Yes - human sexuality is a spectrum. Some people can have a fixed identity their whole life. some people can go through curious phases. some people can be straight for a long time and then suddenly realise they are gay. Some people might be bisexual but fall in love with a person regardless of gender

Thanks for your insights. As you might have noticed throughout the forum, I'm still coming to terms with sexuality. I always feel that I should have a certain name to it (gay or bisexual). But, I'm somewhere caught between the two. Seeing it as a spectrum is a better way of looking at it. Thanks again!

Iano_128 · 28-05-2013 9:38am

playedalive wrote: »

Thanks for your insights. As you might have noticed throughout the forum, I'm still coming to terms with sexuality. I always feel that I should have a certain name to it (gay or bisexual). But, I'm somewhere caught between the two. Seeing it as a spectrum is a better way of looking at it. Thanks again!

I don't think you should be looking for a name to it in fairness! What does it matter what label you put on things? Maybe sexuality is too complex to put a label on. Just be what you want and with who you want I say

If that's boys and girls then so what, if your happy then F*** what everyone else says thinks

playedalive · 28-05-2013 9:42am

Iano_128 wrote: »

I don't think you should be looking for a name to it in fairness! What does it matter what label you put on things? Maybe sexuality is too complex to put a label on. Just be what you want and with who you want I say If that's boys and girls then so what, if your happy then F*** what everyone else says thinks

Thanks. Unfortunately I have seen many horrible things said about bisexuals...they are greedy, they are tiptoeing in and out of the gay world...I should stop caring about comments like that.

Iano_128 · 28-05-2013 9:43am

Ah yeah well you're always gonna have people like that aren't ya! Sure I've seen some members of the gay community even talk bad about bisexuals that it's all for attention and yada yada yada but who cares what they think? Or anyone else for that matter. If you wanna be both then go ahead and be both

playedalive · 28-05-2013 9:48am

Iano_128 wrote: »

Ah yeah well you're always gonna have people like that aren't ya! Sure I've seen some members of the gay community even talk bad about bisexuals that it's all for attention and yada yada yada but who cares what they think? Or anyone else for that matter. If you wanna be both then go ahead and be both

That's what I find quite disconcerting. I've noticed a lot of this comes from within the LGBT community.

Iano_128 · 28-05-2013 9:51am

I could be totally wrong, and if I end up offending any of the LGBT community then I sincerely apologise!

I think that the LGBT community is a very proud one, very proud of who they are and what they believe in. I think they feel that when someone is saying they are bisexual, they are just getting the best of both worlds, not having to go through the struggles that a fully gay person would (bullying, random abuse etc) but are also getting to be apart of their community. Like I said I could be way off, and I don't know for sure what their reasons are for being anti-bi but thats my opinion on it anyway..

playedalive · 28-05-2013 9:57am

Iano_128 wrote: »

I think that the LGBT community is a very proud one, very proud of who they are and what they believe in. I think they feel that when someone is saying they are bisexual, they are just getting the best of both worlds, not having to go through the struggles that a fully gay person would (bullying, random abuse etc)

I think you've hit the nail on the head there dude. For that reason, I can understand why people question the viability of bisexuality. Also, I think a lot of people declare themselves bisexual and then proceed to calling themselves gay. I guess that's another reason why people call it into question, which is logical.

jaffacakesyum · 28-05-2013 3:15pm

Is it possible to be homosexual? Straight?

Iano_128 · 28-05-2013 3:19pm

Well I definitely think so.... You don't?

jaffacakesyum · 28-05-2013 8:05pm

Iano_128 wrote: »

Well I definitely think so.... You don't?

Oh I do. It's just that it's so easy for everyone to without hesitation say that it is possible to be straight (obviously) or homosexual. Why do people doubt bisexuality then? What makes heterosexuality and homosexuality so instantly acceptable yet it's "just a phase" when it's bisexuality?

Iano_128 · 28-05-2013 8:17pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Oh I do. It's just that it's so easy for everyone to without hesitation say that it is possible to be straight (obviously) or homosexual. Why do people doubt bisexuality then? What makes heterosexuality and homosexuality so instantly acceptable yet it's "just a phase" when it's bisexuality?

I totally agree with ya! I think its harder for someone to identify as bisexual for too long though because of people saying you have to be one or the other etc, also maybe spending time with both sexes makes it easier to choose which one is for you! But i agree bisexuality should be just as acceptable as being gay/straight

Annasopra · 28-05-2013 11:20pm

playedalive wrote: »

Thanks. Unfortunately I have seen many horrible things said about bisexuals...they are greedy, they are tiptoeing in and out of the gay world...I should stop caring about comments like that.

Yep unfortunately there is a lot of biphobia from gay men and lesbians

Annasopra · 28-05-2013 11:22pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Oh I do. It's just that it's so easy for everyone to without hesitation say that it is possible to be straight (obviously) or homosexual. Why do people doubt bisexuality then? What makes heterosexuality and homosexuality so instantly acceptable yet it's "just a phase" when it's bisexuality?

Because there are a lot of people who initially came out as bisexual and then a year or two later came out as gay ie lesbian.

jaffacakesyum · 29-05-2013 3:09pm

mango salsa wrote: »

Because there are a lot of people who initially came out as bisexual and then a year or two later came out as gay ie lesbian.

And there are also a lot of people who are straight for a period of time and then come out as homosexual, so why isn't homosexuality thought of as a phase before returning to "how they always were"?

Annasopra · 29-05-2013 3:19pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

And there are also a lot of people who are straight for a period of time and then come out as homosexual, so why isn't homosexuality thought of as a phase before returning to "how they always were"?

Most people don't come out as straight though.

The point is that there are quite a few people who come out as bi and then come out as gay. People don't come out as straight and then come out as gay

Iano_128 · 29-05-2013 3:22pm

mango salsa wrote: »

Most people don't come out as straight though.

The point is that there are quite a few people who come out as bi and then come out as gay. People don't come out as straight and then come out as gay

well my opinion is that most people don't come out as straight because we're all raised to believe that being straight is the norm and that's what we are and should be. Question for you mango, do you believe people can be bisexuals? Or do you think you're either one or the other?

Annasopra · 29-05-2013 3:45pm

Iano_128 wrote: »

well my opinion is that most people don't come out as straight because we're all raised to believe that being straight is the norm and that's what we are and should be.

The word for that is heteronormativity

Question for you mango, do you believe people can be bisexuals? Or do you think you're either one or the other?

Yes of course I believe in bisexuality but I also recognise for some people that a label of bisexual doesn't work

Iano_128 · 29-05-2013 3:46pm

Yeah nothing will ever work for everybody! As they say you can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time!

jaffacakesyum · 30-05-2013 7:40am

mango salsa wrote: »

Most people don't come out as straight though.

The point is that there are quite a few people who come out as bi and then come out as gay. People don't come out as straight and then come out as gay

Meh...someone could be "obviously straight" without the need for coming out. Someone could be straight for 40 years, married with children, and then one day come out as gay and nobody would say it's just a phase even though seeing as for 40 years he/she was presumably straight. It's not a 'phase' then.

I see what you mean and I know of course there are many that come out as bi first and then gay but it's just plain stupidity that people think bisexuality doesn't exist based on that. It's the whole "oh everyone I know who was bi ended up being gay" kind of thing. If I said "every black person I met ended up being a thief" does that mean there's no such thing as a black person who doesn't steal :rolleyes:

playedalive · 30-05-2013 10:18am

Iano_128 wrote: »

I think they feel that when someone is saying they are bisexual, they are just getting the best of both worlds, not having to go through the struggles that a fully gay person would (bullying, random abuse etc) but are also getting to be apart of their community. .

I was thinking about this. But, if you were to act on your same sex attraction, you would have to go through the same grief/abuse. Obviously, if you didn't want that, you could just date the opposite sex. But, that wouldn't be good for you mentally.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I see what you mean and I know of course there are many that come out as bi first and then gay but it's just plain stupidity that people think bisexuality doesn't exist based on that. It's the whole "oh everyone I know who was bi ended up being gay" kind of thing. If I said "every black person I met ended up being a thief" does that mean there's no such thing as a black person who doesn't steal :rolleyes:

The fact that it is so widespread that many bisexuals end up later defining themselves as gay, unfortunately, gives rise to that opinion. I guess not everybody is ever going to be happy with your life choices. But, I guess that's for everything in life (career, dress sense, etc). At the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself and be who you feel you really are!

btvs1995 · 30-05-2013 11:09pm

I think that maybe the bisexual bashing from within the LGBT community ( although not all of us are like that ) is probably to do with a bad experience with a bisexual person. (Although I'm not saying that's the actual reason, just speaking from a personal POV). I can remember a time when I disliked Bi's because of someone I was with. I eventually got over it and realised that my gf cheated on me because she was an utter whore, and a bitch, not because she was Bi. So yeah, I like Bisexuals.

Davyhal · 31-05-2013 2:57pm

I have often heard the phrase "Bi now, Gay later", from both gay and straight friends of mine. I would nearly say that more of my friends believe Bisexuality is a part denial, but personally I believe it is a legitimate sexuality. I know people that have had long term relationships with both guys and girls and I have no reason to believe that they doubt their commitment to either one

Is it possible?

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