Girlfriend's friend

LegacyUser

So I've been living with my girlfriend for a few months now, things are going great, everything really, she's clearly in love with me and I feel the same, and sex is great.
She lived in Australia for a couple of years until last year and was single the whole time. A friend of hers arrived back here recently and they are talking about meeting up to go drinking etc. At first she said they were just friends, then we were out one night and said they kissed a couple of times, now it turns out they used to have sex pretty often, but only "as friends". So an FB type situation.
Am I right in feeling a little uneasy about them meeting up now to go drinking? I mean I just don't think it's appropriate. I wont stand in her way but theres no way I'd meet up with a former FB when I'm living with and in love with my new girlfriend. But maybe that's just me. I don't want to come across as insecure etc so if she's going to do it she can go ahead, but I just think it's putting me in an uncomfortable situation. There are a couple of girls I'd like to see that I used to sleep with sometimes, but my girlfriend has heard me mention them and the history we have, I don't think I'll be meeting up with them anytime soon, I would feel like it's just out of order. Am I being unreasonable? We're both 34 with no kids. Thanks for your input should anyone advise.

Katgurl

You sound very reasonable and level headed.

This might not be relevant here but I have a friend over ten years and we have had a few flings along the way. He has always been a part of my life and we'd go out drinking while either of us in relationships and no flirting whatsoever would ever take place.

Having said that, if a boyfriend said to me he was uncomfortable with the situation I would pay attention. I'd find it hard to say goodbye to my friend but if; my boyfriend tried to accept the situation found it too hard, was all round reasonable an considerate person, was serious and not just a fling, then I would be prepared to cut it off.

I think you should talk to your girlfriend, find out how important the friendship is to her, see if you have anything to worry about. You aren't kids so you should be able to discuss it. You could also get to know the bloke yourself, it would probably put your mind at rest to see the dynamic between them is entirely platonic.

Brego888

This is a tricky one.
From personal experience I'm really good friends with an ex of mine who I went out with for 4 years and we still meet up regularly. Any partners we've had since have had to accept this because the pattern is established. We still have had to be very careful to reassure our respective partners over the years though and it has caused the odd difficulty

I'd be honest with your girlfriend that you're uncomfortable with this. But also clarify that even though you are uncomfortable you won't object to her meeting her friend. Would meeting the friend together be an option?
And another question to ask yourself is how much done you trust her?

littleblackDRS

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If it makes you uncomfortable, you should talk to her. How would she like it if it was the other way around? Especially since she lied to you about what had happened between them to begin with.
Whatever you do, don't start playing "tit for tat". You will destroy the relationship.
You're perfectly entitled to be feeling the way you do. Just sit her down and talk to her.

Neyite

Its the way she is drip feeding you the information that probably does not help either. First they are friends, then friends who kinda kissed, then hooked up from time to time. Why cant she just be upfront - that this is an ex, and that any intimacy that they had is firmly in the past?