Kids and a Phd/Masters - are the two compatible?

ash2008

Ive been working in a career I hate ever since I left college. I recently completed a part time degree in a subject I absolutely love. However, to really make a career out of it, I would need to continue on and do a Phd or at the very least a Masters.

The problem - I dont have kids yet, but at 32 I cant put if off much longer. I feel like i need to make a decision between the two. I guess I could do further study after the kids (Id like 2) were grown up, but that means years more in a career I desperately want to get out of.

So just wondering if there is any possibility of being a mother and doing a masters/phd? Has anyone here managed to combine both? Its not just time that would be the problem, but also finances.

Of course, if it really comes down to one of the other, I will choose having kids. But quite honestly, it is pretty painful to say goodbye to the chance of a new career. At least if I knew for sure that having the best of both worlds was an impossible dream, I could start to move on from that

Dinkie

Yes, it is possible. I've known quite a few who have managed it. However, the comprimise is difficult and some of them have had to accept that they may not have been able to allocate as much time to the masters as they would have liked - and therefore perhaps not done as good a job.

Funnily enough fathers seem to find it easier to complete masters / phD

Voltex

Since I had my kids i completed a diploma, a degree and in spetember I start a MSc and Im 35....but Im the father of 3 boys ( 18 months, 4 and 6). If it wasnt for the support of my wife it would have been very difficult. typically lectures two nights a week, weekend workshops, study, research, report writing, exams and your thesis all coming out of your free time!

But Iv always maintained that further/higher education is like looking at the same world but with a much broader, enlightened perspective...its so rewarding at both a personal level and a professional level.

Getting back to your question about kids and studies..just bare in mind that if your going to have 2 kids your talking about 4 years of your life having children (assuming 2 years between each) and then to have any real, quality free time your kids would have to be about 6-7 years old (dont forget that they will then be involved swimming, football, cubs, etc..etc..) then add in your Masters of 2 years or your Phd of 4 years and your talking about being in the same role for another 10 years at least.


It is very do-able to complete your masters and start your family at the same time with a supportive family behind you..and depending on your situation you could be off for the first 10/11months of your childs life...and to have a reason to be out of the house to interact with other adults could be good.

Anyway...hope all works out, and best of luck.

How Strange

Yes I think it is very possible. A friend of mine is doing her phd and she has an 18 month old. I suppose you have to look on it the same way as a job and take your maternity leave/break and then go back to it after a few months. My friend has her son in a crèche fulltime so it really is like working outside the home for her.

dori_dormer

A friend of mine has two children and is in the middle of her PhD at the moment - and has been for 6 years! To be honest, I dont know if shell ever finish it.
I definitely think it would be easier to finish a masters as they usually only take about a year, so if you were pregnant for the last 6 months or so you could still finish it easily enough.

A PhD i generally 4 years though. 3 years if you dedicate every waking moment. In the area me and my friend are in generally grants are for 3 years + one year extension if you are almost finished. No money after that and no maternity leave as it just a grant. Friend has to work a certain amount for the uni now lecturing etc, to be on payroll to get maternity leave from the uni - ie a small amount of pay when she cant lecture. Lecturing takes a lot of time out of actually doing the PhD, creating lessons and tests, labs, tutorials, corrections. She spends half her week on the lecturing side rather than PhD so its taking even longer!

On the up side, she did plan the 2nd to be born in January, and she doesnt have to be back in to work til mid sept. She didnt have all the credits built up for the first child so was back in working after 3 months because she couldnt afford the unpaid time off. Now every cent of her tiny salary go towards a child minder. She feels she has to finish the thing cos she has spent so long on it, but to be honest I think shed prefer more time with her kids and a regular full paying job.

Thats just her situation, your field/ situation could be completely different, but in general, even without the kid aspect, I would see how a masters went for you before starting a PhD, it will give you a feel for the time involved, money aspect and also if that type of study/research is compatible for you (a lot of people cant hack it and they can be single and no kids, have all the time in the world). PhD isnt for everyone no matter how much you love the subject.

sorry if that was a downer....

aniascor

I think that it can be done - but something will give. If you have children, it becomes more difficult to manage your time, and if you want to take on something like a PhD time management is pretty important if you intend to finish it. We have two small children (one just a week old!) and for the past few years, I have found it difficult to strike a balanace between working full time and finding sufficient time to spend with my family. Would you be able to do the PhD without working? Or would you also need to work to finance it? If you'd need to work, I'd say it would be too much for most people.

lonestargirl

How Strange wrote: »

Yes I think it is very possible. A friend of mine is doing her phd and she has an 18 month old. I suppose you have to look on it the same way as a job and take your maternity leave/break and then go back to it after a few months. My friend has her son in a crèche fulltime so it really is like working outside the home for her.

This. I'm doing a combined PhD / professional training program at the moment (based in a hospital). My son (27 months) is in full time creche so I turn up 8.30 - 5.30 every day and try and get as much done as possible in that timeframe.

In terms of the financial aspect I took a 50% paycut for this position but it's only a 25% net cut once you remove income tax, USC, pension levy etc. The downside as has already been pointed out is that you have no social welfare entitlements. I hope to plan a second child to coincide with the end of this program, at that point I'll be 33 and my son will be 6. I'll just have to suck up the fact that I won't get paid for it but I probably would have some months of unemployment after finishing anyway.

liliq

I got pregnant during my phd.
It's doable but to be honest it's not something id chose to do again.
I guess it depends what field you're in. If you're in a wet lab where experiments have to be completed there, it's hard. Days can be really long and run into nights and weekends. If you're organised that can be minimalised though.
If its more computer/ survey based kind of thing and you can do some more work at home, cutting out commuting etc, it might be less stressful.
I tend to think that if its something that you're passionate about and you're willing to make a 3/4 year time commitment, can afford the reduction in income (which can be supplemented doing demonstrations, invigilating exams, teaching...) then you'll figure out how to make it work

ash2008

Thanks for all the replies It sounds like a Masters might be more do-able, although the Masters im looking at requires full time attendance at classes as its not a research based one. Its also 2 year long

I did speak with my other half, and he says he would be supportive...but perhaps he will change his mind when we have kids and sees how much work it is.

I have a lot of thinking to do it looks like

banbhaaifric

I did a four year degree including a year abroad starting when my daughter was around 15 months. I was a single parent and so had to do all the parenting alone, but it did mean I got some financial assistance. I think having kids can make you more focused about getting the work done during the time you have so you can enjoy your free time with them. And tbh, studying is easier than work with small kids. There isn't that awful pressure if they are sick to still be in work and away from them. I've never regretted going back to college and now I have a job I really love. If you can figure out the money/logistics I reckon go for it!

dori_dormer

To be honest I think the masters you describe would be easiest to do. The classes would be time tabled and you would know exactly when you had to be where. Also assignments for those types of ones are set out from the very beginning for the entire semester, so you would be better able to plan your study and work requirements. Research ones tend to drag on and get delayed.

Only down side is that its two years- is it full time? because its very long if it is. Most 2 year ones Ive heard of only have morning lectures or that- essentially part time. Plus if its lecture based there will be absolutely no maternity leave possible. Is there a grant involved or are you paying the college to do it?

Maybe start it when the child is 6 months or something? I think it wouldnt be possible to have a baby in the middle of it all, as youd miss out on required lectures.