No Funeral Mass on Holy Saturday

Meg meg

First of all sorry mods if this is the wrong forum-feel free to move it.

This is currently annoying me and I wanted to get others opinions.

We had a close family member pass away this week. Not the best timing but he was old and it was following a very short illness. As a result we didn't get any notice and so the funeral had to be planned quite suddenly.
We contacted the parish priest who was very blunt with us(The grieving family)
We were informed they would not be able to hold a funeral mass in the church this week being Holy week and the church being fully booked-acceptable.Except . . . we were told we could have the use of the church on Saturday(Today)for 20 minutes to have our own reflection with our own music(Provided by family member) We were allowed three songs and then told we would have to leave. The priest refused to come to the funeral home before the mass for blessings and refused to bless the coffin in the church or say any prayers. We as the family were much put out-not one prayer was said over the coffin and there was no blessing. The priest was in no way helpful especially at such a difficult time.The evening before the service the priest gave us an envelope and said it was to place our donation in and inside he had given an estimate of what we should donate. We had every intention of leaving a donation but certainly not of his estimation considering how unhelpful he had been and how the whole situation was handled and considering we were not even able to have a funeral mass.

It was not the deceased fault that he passed during Holy week and we respect that they do not hold mass on good Saturday but surely there is no reason why a funeral mass can't be held?

What do others think of the situation and the churches response?? Considering the church aren't in everyone's good books they certainly aren't doing themselves any favours.

lazygal

My very devout Catholic grandfather died during holy week some years ago. There was no mass as per church rules and limited choices of music/readings. He was the most Catholic of us all so we figured he'd have complied with all the restrictions and rules. If you're having a Catholic service on Catholic territory conducted by a catholic priest for a deceased catholic what are you complaining about? Its their club so you follow their rules. Just because the 'timing' of the funeral was during holy week doesn't mean you get to demand a mass on a day one is never celebrated. If a mass was really required, perhaps the funeral should have been postponed.

neemish

There is no Mass held from Holy Thursday until the Vigil on Saturday evening... No exceptions.

BUT that does not mean that funerals should not be accommodated. If it was Good Friday, i would understand (I would have to check if funeral services are allowed that day) but there should be no problem with Saturday. Tbh i'd be annoyed too if a priest treated my family that way and I consider myself a practising Catholic.

He was telling you the truth about Mass- that could not have been done. Full stop. But he should have taken the time to explain why to you and to arrange a Service for your family member.

My sympathies to you on your loss

Kristopherus

Give him back the envelope with only a card in it explaining your disgust at his attitude.:(

im invisible

just because you cant 'consecrate the host' or whatever, dosn't mean a few prayers cant be said, the local priest had us in for over an hour and a half not saying mass this evening..

mathepac

Meg meg wrote: »

What do others think of the situation and the churches response?? Considering the church aren't in everyone's good books they certainly aren't doing themselves any favours.

First of all may I offer you my condolences on your loss.

It seems you encountered a non-empathetic member of the clergy, but I don't think you can move from the specifics of his attitude and behaviour to generalisations about the entire organisation.

Some years ago our beautiful little son died on Good Friday night and everyone we encountered, clergy, congregations in two parishes, funeral directors in two counties, friends, family, etc went out of their way to accommodate us and our son's arrangements. I / we encountered the polar opposite to you from all the clergy we had dealings with and I have to say it helped greatly.

I'm sorry you encountered less Christianity / manners then we might expect from the man you dealt with and for that my heart goes out to you and you family.

ballsymchugh

i've been at a funeral once before on holy saturday. it was a liturgical service, all what you would expect at a regular catholic funeral except no consecration or communion. the mass for the dead person was said on easter sunday.

to be told you have 20 minutes on the saturday is extremely crass. were you offered the chance of having the funeral mass on monday or tuesday?

the priest does not necessarily have to come to the funeral home to lead the prayers at the removal (they can be led by any family member), but they are usually there to receive the remains into the church, and i would have thought it would be appropriate for them to officiate in some way in the service.

it's poor form if that is what you went through, and i would consider complaining above him.

my sincere condolences on your loss, but as mathepac has said above, i think you just came across one bad apple.

martinedwards

Go protestant. never heard of a problem there.....

but as laztgal said.... Catholic church, go by their rules. end of.