Safe to Move Alone?

jessiblah

Hiya!

I'm looking to move to London for summer 2014 if I haven't got a job. I've wanted to move to London for three years now (I'm 18 and doing the Leaving Cert, so I couldn't really!), so I want to save up to make sure I can afford it.

Anyway, whenever my friends and I think about moving out, we always have these worries which kinda stop us wanting to move out. We worry that if we live in an apartment alone we'll be targeted and attacked/kidnapped one night on the way home or while we're at home alone. Then as we live alone, nobody will know that we're hurt/missing/dead. There's also the fear that the landlord/a past resident will do any of these things and after using the key, there will be no evidence of a break in!

But if we share an apartment with random people, we're afraid we'll be living with murderers, thieves or people who will attack us or something. As the people in the apartment will know each other, they could back each other up and say we're delusional about everything!

Also the whole gumtree/spareroom thing scares me as anyone could be putting up ads! It could be some scammer, who attacks me when I go to see the apartment or something.

Am I crazy to think these things? Like the Nicola Furlong (RIP) case freaked me out. A normal girl who went to Japan, with a friend and not alone like I would be, and it was so tragic what happened to her!

Thanks for reading..

5uspect

jessiblah wrote: »

Hiya!

I'm looking to move to London for summer 2014 if I haven't got a job. I've wanted to move to London for three years now (I'm 18 and doing the Leaving Cert, so I couldn't really!), so I want to save up to make sure I can afford it.

Anyway, whenever my friends and I think about moving out, we always have these worries which kinda stop us wanting to move out. We worry that if we live in an apartment alone we'll be targeted and attacked/kidnapped one night on the way home or while we're at home alone. Then as we live alone, nobody will know that we're hurt/missing/dead. There's also the fear that the landlord/a past resident will do any of these things and after using the key, there will be no evidence of a break in!

But if we share an apartment with random people, we're afraid we'll be living with murderers, thieves or people who will attack us or something. As the people in the apartment will know each other, they could back each other up and say we're delusional about everything!

Also the whole gumtree/spareroom thing scares me as anyone could be putting up ads! It could be some scammer, who attacks me when I go to see the apartment or something.

Am I crazy to think these things? Like the Nicola Furlong (RIP) case freaked me out. A normal girl who went to Japan, with a friend and not alone like I would be, and it was so tragic what happened to her!

Thanks for reading..

How do you expect to live anywhere?

jimmycrackcorm

You clearly are to young to consider moving if you are afraid of these things. Also what sort of job are you going to get without further education.

If you want a mental job then there are still opportunities in Ireland.

jessiblah

5uspect wrote: »

How do you expect to live anywhere?

My friends and I were going to move into apartment together, but one might be moving to Canada with her family, another wants to move out in three years instead and the others don't know. My friend was going to move to London in a few months after she was done in college, but these things freaked her out a bit too. Like we wouldn't mind in Ireland as much, but being abroad, knowing no-one and everything! It's scary...

And Jimmy I want to be a journalist/radio and tv presenter. I'm presenting on community radio and writing for a website. There's barely anywhere over here for tv presenting experience or internships towards London, so I want to head there to try get some more experience.

Catphish

jessiblah wrote: »

Hiya!

I'm looking to move to London for summer 2014 if I haven't got a job. I've wanted to move to London for three years now (I'm 18 and doing the Leaving Cert, so I couldn't really!), so I want to save up to make sure I can afford it.

Anyway, whenever my friends and I think about moving out, we always have these worries which kinda stop us wanting to move out. We worry that if we live in an apartment alone we'll be targeted and attacked/kidnapped one night on the way home or while we're at home alone. Then as we live alone, nobody will know that we're hurt/missing/dead. There's also the fear that the landlord/a past resident will do any of these things and after using the key, there will be no evidence of a break in!

But if we share an apartment with random people, we're afraid we'll be living with murderers, thieves or people who will attack us or something. As the people in the apartment will know each other, they could back each other up and say we're delusional about everything!

Also the whole gumtree/spareroom thing scares me as anyone could be putting up ads! It could be some scammer, who attacks me when I go to see the apartment or something.

Am I crazy to think these things? Like the Nicola Furlong (RIP) case freaked me out. A normal girl who went to Japan, with a friend and not alone like I would be, and it was so tragic what happened to her!

Thanks for reading..

You need to relax about living away, or you never will live anywhere other than your parents home. Sure, if you have all those fears about living alone, what makes you think they won't happen anywhere in Ireland, or even where you live now?

What I think would be a good idea before you consider making the big move is to book a week or two at least over there to get a feel for the place, then come home and have a think about it. If you were even moving towns over here in Ireland I would tell you to make sure you've done your research on it over a period of time before you do anything. You were saying that the reason for your want to move was career related, have you someone you can talk to that has more experience on this? You need to have some solid support, research areas where you might live etc., before you even think about leaving home.

jessiblah

Catphish wrote: »

You need to relax about living away, or you never will live anywhere other than your parents home. Sure, if you have all those fears about living alone, what makes you think they won't happen anywhere in Ireland, or even where you live now?

What I think would be a good idea before you consider making the big move is to book a week or two at least over there to get a feel for the place, then come home and have a think about it. If you were even moving towns over here in Ireland I would tell you to make sure you've done your research on it over a period of time before you do anything. You were saying that the reason for your want to move was career related, have you someone you can talk to that has more experience on this? You need to have some solid support, research areas where you might live etc., before you even think about leaving home.

I trust Ireland more than I trust London. As much as people tell me it's great, I've had far more say to me that when they or their friends were living there, it was dangerous or just dodgy to be in, which has by now freaked me out!

I think I'll do that though, and move over for two weeks. I'm so excited to go, but every time I mention it someone else tells me a horror story! I've someone I could probably ask next week about the career end, so I'll say it to them..

Thanks!

FTA69

In the immortal words of Chopper Read; "harden the f*ck up". You're moving into a flat in England, not running naked through Bogota.

Fysh

While it's important to have some awareness of your personal safety, it's possible to take that awareness to extremes and I think that's what's happening here. By the kind of thinking you suggest, going anywhere where you'll meet or interact with anyone you don't know would be a potentially life-threatening situation. One of the more eye-openingly depressing aspects of violent crime statistics is the tendency for the attacker to have a relationship of some sort with the victim. And this is true of Ireland as much as the UK.

In saying that, if you don't already know anyone here, there are worse ideas than planning to move over with a friend who can go with you to flat viewings, etc. Making a proper go of moving here for the medium or long term will be easier if you've done a fair amount of research and preparation, which might help you to feel a bit more comfortable with the areas you're considering. Certainly I'd say popping over for a few days to get a feel for the place and the areas you're considering moving to would be a good idea.

Lump

On a financial point, living on your own in London will cost you a small fortune. If you're worried about living with others, you should get a short term lease somewhere, then after being here for a while, you'll get a feel for where/who to live with, and probably meet people who you can move into a flat share with.

There might not be many opportunities in Ireland, but that's not to say there's plenty of work in London and it's a lot more expensive. You'll need to have at least £500 a month to live and commute. Probably more depending on where you want to live. I'm sure you've researched lots, but make sure you're happy before you bit the bullet. More desirable areas will be more expensive to live, but it might make you feel safer.

John

FTA69

Honestly like, kids these days. I was 17 when I moved out of home for the first time and barely 19 when I moved to London on my own. I was delighted to be out of the house and getting mouldy and generally having an absolute ball galavanting around London getting up to shenanigans. Rape/murder/pillage was the last thing on my mind!

jeziorski

Really? You have to be brave, it could be an instructive lesson for you. Moreover, you can regret later.

Jamey

It takes A LOT of planning. I had notions at 18,19,20,21 to move to London but so glad I didn't until now (I'm nearly 25). I wouldn't have survived if I moved over impulsively a few years ago and I've seen a few 19/20 year olds who have come over here in search of a bit of romance in their life only to go home two weeks later.

My advice would be go to college in Ireland first and then think about London. You're much more likely to get a good job and to be able to live here with a degree behind you.

All but one of my Irish friends over here went to college first in Ireland and then came over. The one who didn't wishes that he had.

djpbarry

Jamey wrote: »

You're much more likely to get a good job and to be able to live here with a degree behind you.

That really depends on what kind of job you're aiming for. A degree in psychology isn't going to be much good if you want to work as a plumber.

who the fug

djpbarry wrote: »

That really depends on what kind of job you're aiming for. A degree in psychology isn't going to be much good if you want to work as a plumb
er.

Would make for an new twist on the standard porn flick

OP get a degree first

Weathering

I went to Australia for a year straight after my lc. I had just turned 18 so roughly the same age as u now. After reading your post I wouldn't if I were you,you seem like you have lived in a bubble and aren't up with the ways of the world. in a big city like london they'd eat you alive.

old hippy

jessiblah wrote: »

I trust Ireland more than I trust London. As much as people tell me it's great, I've had far more say to me that when they or their friends were living there, it was dangerous or just dodgy to be in, which has by now freaked me out!

I think I'll do that though, and move over for two weeks. I'm so excited to go, but every time I mention it someone else tells me a horror story! I've someone I could probably ask next week about the career end, so I'll say it to them..

Thanks!

I've been attacked more times back in Ireland than over here. I first came over as a student when I was 18 to work in the summers. It's fine. Just use your common sense.

As for journalism, depends what avenue you wish to pursue. I wrote for the Irish Post at one stage but you have to be pushy, have plenty of ideas and sell yourself to editors. If you want radio, there's a lot of local stations you can send a demo to. But don't count on them calling you back - you have to ring them and tell them about yourself, again - it's all about hyping yourself up.

London isn't for all. But if you go around expecting fear and loathing, you'll be sending out the wrong vibes. Just enjoy it and don't be too trusting of people. Same as you would back home.

jessiblah

Thanks everyone!

old hippy wrote: »

As for journalism, depends what avenue you wish to pursue. I wrote for the Irish Post at one stage but you have to be pushy, have plenty of ideas and sell yourself to editors. If you want radio, there's a lot of local stations you can send a demo to. But don't count on them calling you back - you have to ring them and tell them about yourself, again - it's all about hyping yourself up.

London isn't for all. But if you go around expecting fear and loathing, you'll be sending out the wrong vibes. Just enjoy it and don't be too trusting of people. Same as you would back home.

I've been on a community station for a year now, and write the odd online article as well. My family still tell me how bad London is, but my friends who have friends there are saying that it's not that dangerous.

I'm contemplating a gap year now as I'm completely lost on what course I want to do, so I may move over to London for a while (or even just visit) during it!

Thank you everyone.

Lump

I think you're family are just trying to keep you home. London has problems, but so does Dublin and other cities in Ireland. If you walk through a rough area in London with a laptop hanging off your shoulder, bag hanging open, while chatting on your i-Phone oblivious to what's going on around you then the likely hood is you'll get mugged, that said the said would happen in and town.

On the flip side as long as you have a relative amount of common sense you'd be fine. The area you live in will have a huge affect on how comfortable you feel walking around. Ealing is going to be nicer than Hanwell (which is a couple of miles down the road) but Hanwell is gonna be nicer than other areas, it's all relative. I've lived in London 9 years now, (on a council estate for the last 2 years where I bought my flat) and *touch wood* I don't know anyone who's been mugged, and contrary to belief the estate I live on is fine.

I wouldn't be frightened about moving to London, it's not like it's Syria!

5uspect

jessiblah wrote: »

Thanks everyone!
My family still tell me how bad London is, but my friends who have friends there are saying that it's not that dangerous.

I think your parents have heavily exaggerated the case. They probably don't want you to move and want to keep you sheltered. Not a good environment for a budding journalist TBH.

FTA69

Your family are spoofing on. Estates in Cork, Limerick, Belfast and Dublin are far worse than the "rough" areas in London. In my opinion you're more likely to get a hiding in Dublin in broad daylight than you are at night in London. Obviously this is a matter of conjecture.

Look, London is a modern western city; not without its problems but it's a fantastic place to live.

old hippy

Lump wrote: »

I think you're family are just trying to keep you home. London has problems, but so does Dublin and other cities in Ireland. If you walk through a rough area in London with a laptop hanging off your shoulder, bag hanging open, while chatting on your i-Phone oblivious to what's going on around you then the likely hood is you'll get mugged, that said the said would happen in and town.

On the flip side as long as you have a relative amount of common sense you'd be fine. The area you live in will have a huge affect on how comfortable you feel walking around. Ealing is going to be nicer than Hanwell (which is a couple of miles down the road) but Hanwell is gonna be nicer than other areas, it's all relative. I've lived in London 9 years now, (on a council estate for the last 2 years where I bought my flat) and *touch wood* I don't know anyone who's been mugged, and contrary to belief the estate I live on is fine.

I wouldn't be frightened about moving to London, it's not like it's Syria!

Just avoid Roddy's Bar, that's all I'm saying

fluke

Hi jessiblah,

You do seem to have lived a sheltered life so far, that's not necessarily your fault though and at the end of the day your family are only vocalising concerns. Plus you're 18, and just because others here have done it differently it doesn't mean their way is the right way for you.

Judging from what you've said I would (as another poster mentioned) come here for a couple of weeks. Or better still come over here after the exams for a week check it out and see what ye think of it.

Then if possible go somewhere else in Europe during the summer, (another city or area) and see what you think of that place too.

Don't limit your options to London alone. Maybe London won't be for you, you won't know by a week or two but I would advise coming over and getting a sense of the place and see how you like it.

Above all, before you do decide to move here get a bit if travelling under your belt that gives you bit of world experience.

dd972

Lump wrote: »

I think you're family are just trying to keep you home. London has problems, but so does Dublin and other cities in Ireland. If you walk through a rough area in London with a laptop hanging off your shoulder, bag hanging open, while chatting on your i-Phone oblivious to what's going on around you then the likely hood is you'll get mugged, that said the said would happen in and town.

On the flip side as long as you have a relative amount of common sense you'd be fine. The area you live in will have a huge affect on how comfortable you feel walking around. Ealing is going to be nicer than Hanwell (which is a couple of miles down the road) but Hanwell is gonna be nicer than other areas, it's all relative. I've lived in London 9 years now, (on a council estate for the last 2 years where I bought my flat) and *touch wood* I don't know anyone who's been mugged, and contrary to belief the estate I live on is fine.

I wouldn't be frightened about moving to London, it's not like it's Syria!

Northolt's quite a nice place around that way or Hayes. ( Being sarky OP )

Brentford or Chiswick are OK areas, generally speaking if your budget can stretch to them.

dd972

FTA69 wrote: »

Your family are spoofing on. Estates in Cork, Limerick, Belfast and Dublin are far worse than the "rough" areas in London. .

Do you get school aged kids knifing and shooting each other because they're from a different post code ?, certain parts of Ireland might seem rougher because of the swaggering, showboating antics of the so called hard lads but I'd sooner walk around them late at night than Tottenham or Peckham.

BrokenArrows

old hippy wrote: »

Just avoid Roddy's Bar, that's all I'm saying

I was in there before and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

FTA69

dd972 wrote: »

Do you get school aged kids knifing and shooting each other because they're from a different post code ?, certain parts of Ireland might seem rougher because of the swaggering, showboating antics of the so called hard lads but I'd sooner walk around them late at night than Tottenham or Peckham.

Dublin at one stage had a higher gun murder rate than London in absolute terms, despite being a tenth of the size. Growing up in one fairly notorious estate in Cork I've known two young fellas who were stabbed to death, one blinded after getting hit over the head as well as a number of fatal drug overdoses. There are numerous random attacks and incidents of violence in Ireland, I'd argue Irish cities are worse for that sort of street violence. Not to say that places like Edmonton etc aren't saucy out either though.

Also the fact is that dodgy Irish estates are usually out of town, some tourist getting off the bus in Knocknaheeny or Fettercairn at 8pm on a Friday night will stick out a mile as they've no reason to be there so to speak. Irish sink estates tend to be out of town and just an endless lump of bad housing. Places like Tottenham etc have high streets full of shops where everyone and their mother is walking around at night.

Fysh

FTA69 wrote: »

Also the fact is that dodgy Irish estates are usually out of town, some tourist getting off the bus in Knocknaheeny or Fettercairn at 8pm on a Friday night will stick out a mile as they've no reason to be there so to speak. Irish sink estates tend to be out of town and just an endless lump of bad housing. Places like Tottenham etc have high streets full of shops where everyone and their mother is walking around at night.

+1 on that one; I've been told by some people I've met here that living in Kilburn was signing my own death warrant, and yet the fact is that Kilburn High Street is sufficiently busy that I've never felt unsafe coming home at any time of night because there are places open and people around.

When I lived in Cork there was no way in hell you'd catch me out alone at night in Togher, Knocka or Blackpool. I felt far less safe wandering around any of those areas than I have anywhere in London - which is not to say there aren't dangerous areas, but to pretend that Ireland is some sort of utopia with London as some sort of warzone is foolish.

djpbarry

dd972 wrote: »

certain parts of Ireland might seem rougher because of the swaggering, showboating antics of the so called hard lads...

It's the other lads who are prepared to stab you to death with a screwdriver I'd be concerned about.

old hippy

BrokenArrows wrote: »

I was in there before and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

For the most part, it's fine. The lad who runs it is decent and welcoming. But some of the clientele are an odd mix. Anyways, off topic, etc!

As for Dublin V London in terms of violence? Well, on a purely personal level, I've been mugged and beaten up in Dublin too many times. In London it's more encountering racist & homophobic views that's the norm. Maybe because I don't sit quietly and let such things go...

If the OPs still around, I hope they can see the balance on this whole topic. Every big city has its pitfalls.