How do you get to Hell ?

uch

I'm drinking Beer and eating a rasher sambo with my left hand, so as popular religions go (Christian, Muslim & Jewish) I'm goin to Hell

long range shooter

uch wrote: »

I'm drinking Beer and eating a rasher sambo with my left hand, so as popular religions go (Christian, Muslim & Jewish) I'm goin to Hell

Maybe You should stop drinking beer for starters;)

December2012

Practice!

Sarky

You buy a copy of the Irish Times and go straight to the John Waters column.

Madam_X

Maaaaan... I thought this year, in light of threads done and closed already, and warnings by mods, that there might be a bit of self awareness this year and NOT a plethora of "I'm such a rebel that I'm boozing and eating meat on Good Friday" threads... but there are... and the day won't even kick off for several hours...

blaze1

peado priest, lenient garda, corrupt judge, TD, manager in a call centre,

The possibilities are there you just have to grasp them. Mere bacon eating will no longer do it.

Ihatecuddles-old

Bum sex.

uch

Madam_X wrote: »

Maaaaan... I thought this year, in light of threads done and closed already, and warnings by mods, that there might be a bit of self awareness this year and NOT a plethora of "I'm such a rebel that I'm boozing and eating meat on Good Friday" threads... but there are... and the day won't even kick off for several hours...

Hold your Horses there, my wife and Kids are gone to bed, Leaving me in the kitchen with a fridge full of Beer and pork, what do you expect me to do ?

zenno

uch wrote: »

I'm drinking Beer and eating a rasher sambo with my left hand, so as popular religions go (Christian, Muslim & Jewish) I'm goin to Hell

Come through my magic door and I will show you hell.

Strangely enough i'm just after tucking into a christmas dinner there, ham, turkey, stuffing, the works with a helping of 24 cans of budweiser while wearing an atheist hat...fantastico.

ejmaztec

We're already in hell, and it's frozen over.

C.K Dexter Haven

Left turn at Albuquerque.
Bugs Bunny always avoided that route- now I know why.

Chucken

Madam_X wrote: »

Maaaaan... I thought this year, in light of threads done and closed already, and warnings by mods, that there might be a bit of self awareness this year and NOT a plethora of "I'm such a rebel that I'm boozing and eating meat on Good Friday" threads... but there are... and the day won't even kick off for several hours...

The amount of "guilt ridden Atheists"...every year..sad really.

C.K Dexter Haven

ejmaztec wrote: »

We're already in hell, and it's frozen over.

Ah FFS- it's only unseasonal weather :rolleyes:

uch

zenno wrote: »

Come through my magic door and I will show you hell.

Strangely enough i'm just after tucking into a christmas dinner there, ham, turkey, stuffing, the works with a helping of 24 cans of budweiser while wearing an atheist hat...fantastico.

So anyway what'll we do there ? in this Hell place

kowloon

Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

Kxiii

uch wrote: »

So anyway what'll we do there ? in this Hell place

Roast marshmallows?

C.K Dexter Haven

Sarky wrote: »

You buy a copy of the Irish Times and go straight to the John Waters column.

OK.


*steps away*

Madam_X

uch wrote: »

Leaving me in the kitchen with a fridge full of Beer and pork, what do you expect me to do ?

Enjoy the ****ing **** out of them!

ejmaztec

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Ah FFS- it's only unseasonal weather :rolleyes:

Yes, it's fuckin unseasonably freeeeeezin.

If I'd have known I wasn't going to get a good roasting, I wouldn't have been a bad bastard when I was alive.:(

Sarky

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

OK.


*steps away*

If you read it for free you're not suffering enough. Dur.

Mick ah

Work in Finance

C.K Dexter Haven

ejmaztec wrote: »

Yes, it's fuckin unseasonably freeeeeezin.

If I'd have known I wasn't going to get a good roasting, I wouldn't have been a bad bastard when I was alive.:(

Like an ice cube would we?:)

blaze1

I'm hammered and about to start mixing on some decks i got for xmas... care to listen

uch

Madam_X wrote: »

Enjoy the ****ing **** out of them!

Eeh What ?

uch

blaze1 wrote: »

I'm hammered and about to start mixing on some decks i got for xmas... care to listen

Absolutely, horse it up there

zenno

uch wrote: »

So anyway what'll we do there ? in this Hell place

We do exactly what we are doing now, gorging on ham,turkey,stuffing and the works while drowning ourselves in good quality beer.

We do live in hell already you know, so why not enjoy our time here on this prison hellish planet.

C.K Dexter Haven

Sarky wrote: »

If you read it for free you're not suffering enough. Dur.

I'm only a beginner- need to pace myself. Besides, every time I hear/read/see "John Waters" name, I think of Sinead O'Connor- then I need to pace myself some more.
Sooner or later, I'll need a pacemaker

blaze1

uch wrote: »

Absolutely, horse it up there

Just going to keep drinking wine till it sounds better...


wont be playing any gangsta hip hop after typing that:o

Madam_X

uch wrote: »

Eeh What ?

Enjoy them! (expletives removed)

uch

blaze1 wrote: »

Just going to keep drinking wine till it sounds better...


wont be playing any gangsta hip hop after typing that:o

Good that'd defo get you to Hell

zenno

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

I'm only a beginner- need to pace myself. Besides, every time I hear/read/see "John Waters" name, I think of Sinead O'Connor- then I need to pace myself some more.
Sooner or later, I'll need a pacemaker

'Nothing compares' to this Ham sandwich.

Sarky

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

I'm only a beginner- need to pace myself. Besides, every time I hear/read/see "John Waters" name, I think of Sinead O'Connor- then I need to pace myself some more.
Sooner or later, I'll need a pacemaker

Mixed up your priorities there. Remember, Waters lost a custody case against O'conner. The law considers her a more sane and capable human being than him. Let that sink in for a few minutes. And then gouge out your eyes and set yourself on fire, as is the only sensible reaction to a fact like that.

Ruu

I took the bus, driver was a bit of a bastid!

Smidge

Take the N4 from Dublin to Sligo, when you hit Leitrim........
Your questions has been answered OP:pac:

uch

Madam_X wrote: »

Enjoy them! (expletives removed)

Nah, don't know what you're talking about

Madam_X

Really? You don't know what I meant in the first post you queried, where I said "Enjoy the f'ucking sh1t out of them!" (meaning: enjoy them - sounds yum, no badness intended ).

heyjude

I think there's a Highway to take you there....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B0PJkS0iyk

uch

Madam_X wrote: »

Really? You don't know what I meant in the first post you queried, where I said "Enjoy the f'ucking sh1t out of them!" (meaning: enjoy them - sounds yum, no badness intended ).

too many expletives can't understand * stars, sorry

C.K Dexter Haven

Sarky wrote: »

Mixed up your priorities there. Remember, Waters lost a custody case against O'conner. The law considers her a more sane and capable human being than him. Let that sink in for a few minutes. And then gouge out your eyes and set yourself on fire, as is the only sensible reaction to a fact like that.

Yea, but, she did sing Mandinka. It was a perfect antidote to Enya's Orinoco Flow- if you weren't there you wouldn't understand

uch

Sorry Madam_x, see told you I was drunk and eating a rasher sambo

Ruudi_Mentari

ohh keep it up, sure you're on the right track. your ship has sailed... for the hell that is your guilty conscience.

I will say a prayer for your waistline.

uch

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

ohh keep it up, sure you're on the right track. your ship has sailed... for the hell that is your guilty conscience.

I will say a prayer for your waistline.

So that's two rashers and three Sausages on toast for you

Ruudi_Mentari

uch wrote: »

So that's two rashers and three Sausages on toast for you

..smoked? streaky.

Ruudi_Mentari

does what's in the belly carry over if not processed yet

OneArt

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Bum sex.

It's how some get to heaven.

uch

uch wrote: »

I'm drinking Beer and eating a rasher sambo with my left hand, so as popular religions go (Christian, Muslim & Jewish) I'm goin to Hell

Well according to some branches of Christianity the only one true - hell bound - unforgivable sin is denial or cursing of the holy spirit.

This is based I believe around some passage in "Matthew", 12 I think, and another one in mark.....3ish.... which says that all sins can be forgiven except blasphemy against the holy spirit.

"he who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness" "whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him"

So if you are looking for some sure fire way to get down to hell were all the horny sluts are well up for it.... while you look up at the pretty pink clouds at all the virgins singing "kum by yah my lord" and dreaming about getting laid..... then bad mouthing the silent partner in the oft spewed notion of the trinity seems to be the way to go.

Of course there is another large branch of Christianity that thinks all the people who subscribe to what I wrote above are totally deluded and are not "real Christians (tm)" and cant understand a) how they reached such a position and think their brand of Christianity is total nonsense and b) why they are saying the exact same thing as a) about them.

retalivity

OP, you said you were in ulaanbataar but didnt specify anywhere more local than that.
So, working from downtown you can get to Hell like this - http://goo.gl/maps/WRe3s

Be warned that it will take you almost 5 days, what with those pesky russian border crossings, so you will not be there in time for easter.
I think they already have their own sausages and beer in Hell, but as Norway is an expensive country you may want to bring some with you.

MadsL

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Left turn at Albuquerque.
Bugs Bunny always avoided that route- now I know why.

Oi!

Was gonna say take the N4, but then realised that's Leitrim.

zenno

zenno wrote: »

Come through my magic door and I will show you hell.

More detailed instructions on passing the gateway to Hell can be found here: Just be warned, it's a very complicated and intricate code only the top 1% of humanity will grasp.

Smidge

Smidge wrote: »

Take the N4 from Dublin to Sligo, when you hit Leitrim........
Your questions has been answered OP:pac:

MadsL wrote: »

Oi!

Was gonna say take the N4, but then realised that's Leitrim.

:pac:

zenno

Deleted User wrote: »

More detailed instructions on passing the gateway to Hell can be found here: Just be warned, it's a very complicated and intricate code only the top 1% of humanity will grasp.

I'm angered here after watching that bosco magic door sh1t. listening to that squeaky voice.

Right i'll need a few more full shell casings into me to rid that squeaky fecker from my mind.

That was not the magic door i was talking about... this is...