Frustrated - Need Advice

LegacyUser

Hi,

My friend is really down in himself. He told me a few weeks ago he has had suicidal thoughts and is depressed. He is very negative and cannot seem to see anything positive.

However, the past few weeks he has been in good form and seemed in good spirits.

But I met him last night and he was back to being depressed. It is very worrying. I have asked him to go and see a professional but he refuses to do so. He will not even call Aware or Samaritans. I feel so frustrated. What does he expect me to do? I want him to get help but he constantly refuses and says he'll be fine!

Any advice?
Thanks!

afterglow

Hi OP

This is a horrible situation for you to be in, and I am kind of going through something similar myself at the moment. I would advise you to try get him to his gp if he won't call samaritans or aware. I would kind of be a bit concerned as well that he was depressed a while ago, then upbeat and is now back to being depressed again. It is very hard to be in this position because you really do feel at a loss as to what to do. I would be kind of worried myself that the fluctuating moods could be a precurser to something, so i really would try to get him to help if you can. samaritans and pietta house have text numbers so maybe he might use them if he doesn't feel able to call yet.
Hope you get him to help and the very best of luck

Blowfish

If he isn't willing to seek help himself, the best thing you can do is to get him talking and listen in a completely non judgemental manner.

Also, Aware actually have a section on their website on how to support others with depression. You can also give them a call or email them yourself and they'll give advice.

frustrateduser12 wrote: »

However, the past few weeks he has been in good form and seemed in good spirits.

I'd be a bit careful with this as people with depression can often be experts at hiding what they are actually feeling and can come across as normal/happy, even when they actually aren't.

araic88

Even if he won't phone Aware etc. do you think he'd use their online support ? They have a kind of chatroom that's moderated by Aware faciliators and allows a certain maximum of people so it's a little like group therapy but much more 'anonymous' than an in person group and I'd imagine a lot easier than speaking to one person on the phone. It might be helpful to share experiences with others, realise how common they can be and maybe get some advice etc.

http://www.aware.ie/help/support/online-support-groups/

good luck!

Catphish

Blowfish wrote: »

I'd be a bit careful with this as people with depression can often be experts at hiding what they are actually feeling and can come across as normal/happy, even when they actually aren't.

This is very true.


op as said above, you should try get him to go to his gp. You could volunteer to come along with him for company. Its hard when someone presents you with a problem but wont go along with the help and advice you give, so I understand why you're feeling so frustrated.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I got him to go to pieta house. However, he went just the once and dismissed it saying they "went religious" on him, which I do not believe they do.
So now he is barely talking to anyone and not leaving the house. Sleeps all day and up at night.
He did go to doctor and got some medication but I have not seen any improvement.

I do not know where to go now.

CinammonGirl

Hi OP

Your friend is lucky to have a good friend like you.

If you think it might help, you could ring the Samaritans and ask them to call your friend directly. You would need to give them your name and number so they can be sure if it is a genuine request but it is an option if you would be comfortable with that.

Also it is good that he has at least approached his GP.