New (hidden) relationship

LegacyUser

As of one week ago, I asked a girl out and she said yes. Happy days. Unfortunately, it's a tad complicated as there's another lad who also likes her and we haven't publicised our relationship to anyone.

We're both friends with this other guy and we both ideally want to remain friends with this chap.

It's a delicate situation and I understand that but for some reason she wants to be the one to tell him and is "looking for the right time" to do so.

I'd understand if it was somebody that I don't know but we're both friends with this guy and I don't see why we can't do it together or why I can't do it.

I just don't want it to go on any longer than it needs to and I don't want this to be a secret relationship. I don't want to hide it and to be honest, I just want to show her off.

It's an unfortunate situation but it is what it is and she's very concerned about how he's going to react. I am too but dragging this out and not being able to tell anybody is really... Well, it's hard to be honest. I've liked her for ages and now that we're going out, I can't tell anybody.

I've told her this and I know she's taking into account, his feelings but I just want her to think of mine too.

I'm not really sure if I'm seeking advice or a vent. Bit of both I guess.

judgefudge

How much could he like her if she's that upset about hurting his feelings? No matter when it's done it's still the same outcome, so no I don't see why she's waiting.

Is there any chance she likes having the attention of two guys? Or likes having him as option 2? And is putting off telling him for that reason? Just asking.

hairyprincess

She's having you both on. I bet she has loads of other men on the go too :pac:

beks101

Hold your horses there for a second.

You asked her out last week and you're already obsessing over telling everyone about this new "relationship"? Have you had a conversation where you both have agreed that this is officially already a relationship, and not a series of dates to see where it goes?

I know you're crazy about her, but don't get ahead of yourself here - a week is hardly enough time to start announcing it to the world and her reluctance would confirm that she's not comfortable with that. A week is nothing.

And whatever you do, absolutely do not flaunt this new relationship in this guy's face, now or ever. Be civil, be adult and respect his feelings enough to not shove it in his face.

shamrock55

No dont tell him i will yea right shes riding him too mate guarenteed

Merkin

Whoooaaaa, cool the jets here. You have been going out with her a wet week (literally) and you want to make grand statements about your "relationship". Why don't you just concentrate on the two of you for now to see how it all pans out rather than running before you can even walk?

Brego888

Getting a way ahead of yourself here mate.
When I start going out with someone I generally won't announce it for a few months. If even at all!

Big Bag of Chips

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