Innocent things you do that look very bad to everyone else

1ZRed

Today I did my washing and I threw on a heap of ariel washing powder because I love the smell of it and I'd nearly snort lines of the stuff, but that all got done and it was pilled in a neat heap by the dryer in the utility room, which you pass by to get to one of the bathrooms.

During the day I'd be making trips to the jacks and I'd pass the basket of clothes, it just so happened that my jocks where right on top, so I thought nothing of picking them up to get the smell of the powder again -like I would with a tshirt or any other bit of clothing.

I innocently did this twice before realising how bad it must look to anybody looking in at the situation and seeing a lad sniffing men's underwear and proceeding to make his way to the jacks to carry out his business.

So I'm a durty jock sniffer if someone saw what I did and took it at face value

Ever found yourself in a similar situation of doing something innocent or oblivious to you but would look very bad out of context?

fasttalkerchat

Probably the time I was coming out of the shower and was caught in a compromising situation. It was all my fault for giving a neighbour a spare key. I got out of it by denying all knowledge and claiming mistaken identity.

Ihatecuddles-old

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Probably the time I was coming out of the shower and was caught in a compromising situation. It was all my fault for giving a neighbour a spare key. I got out of it by denying all knowledge and claiming mistaken identity.

http://www.polyvore.com/see_what_you_did_there/thing?id=36759825#

Should have told him to shag off...

padd b1975

When I eat an apple, more often than not I eat the core too.

kneemos

I used to stop and look down the aisle in the supermarket when thinking is there anything I want along there,I think it may have looked a bit weird.

The Big Red Button

padd b1975 wrote: »

When I eat an apple, more often than not I eat the core too.

My boyfriend does this. It's f*cked up.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Ok mines a bit weird.. I used morse code in work for years, and now if I look at a sign or any kind of writing for more than a second or two I tap out the words with the fingers on my right hand, but it looks like I'm rolling and flicking snots

kneemos

Nasir Sticky Comedian wrote: »

Ok mines a bit weird.. I used morse code in work for years, and now if I look at a sign or any kind of writing for more than a second or two I tap out the words with the fingers on my right hand, but it looks like I'm rolling and flicking snots

Your a spy from 1943 right?who the hell uses morse code?

Seachmall

kneemos wrote: »

Your a spy from 1943 right?who the hell uses morse code?

You really shouldn't be asking questions you aren't prepared to have answered.

starlings

Nasir Sticky Comedian wrote: »

Ok mines a bit weird.. I used morse code in work for years, and now if I look at a sign or any kind of writing for more than a second or two I tap out the words with the fingers on my right hand, but it looks like I'm rolling and flicking snots

I'm very impressed with the morse code.

TeddyTedson

kneemos wrote: »

I used to stop and look down the aisle in the supermarket when thinking is there anything I want along there,I think it may have looked a bit weird.

That's perfectly normal!
I always eat the lemon out of a drink... Skin and all.

humbert

Nasir Sticky Comedian wrote: »

Ok mines a bit weird.. I used morse code in work for years, and now if I look at a sign or any kind of writing for more than a second or two I tap out the words with the fingers on my right hand, but it looks like I'm rolling and flicking snots

I think you're looking for the "Feeble excuses you've given when caught in compromising situations" thread. :pac:

pablohoney87

The face I make when I clean my ear with a pen.
It creeps people out

Real Life

I was in an art shop a few days ago looking for a drawing pens/ markers. I was taking the lids off to look at the nib size and also having a sneaky sniff. The lad the owns the shop was looking at me when i looked up.

Plazaman

Nasir Sticky Comedian wrote: »

Ok mines a bit weird.. I used morse code in work for years, and now if I look at a sign or any kind of writing for more than a second or two I tap out the words with the fingers on my right hand, but it looks like I'm rolling and flicking snots

Morse code? ..-. ..- -.-. -.- that for a game of cowboys. (Hehe, up yours swear filter)

kiffer

Plazaman wrote: »

Morse code? ..-. ..- -.-. -.- that for a game of cowboys. (Hehe, up yours swear filter)

Tity tity tah tity tity tity tah tah tity tah tity tah tity tah?

Hande hoche!

Walking around with a blanket http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2013/03/kkk-robe-oberlin-was-probably-just-student-wearing-blanket/62764/

hoodwinked

once i had a pair of jeans where the zip kept falling down so every now and then id discreetly pull it back up.


one day in the middle of the city center i felt a breeze down there so i quickly tried pulling it up, only it got stuck like only zips do, with no bathrooms nearby i was forced to try and fix it, but someone messing around with their hand down there in a public street never looks good

arybvtcw0eolkf

kneemos wrote: »

Your a spy from 1943 right?who the hell uses morse code?

The military and HAM radio operators.

kneemos

Nasir Sticky Comedian wrote: »

The military and HAM radio operators.

Seriously,morse code?

Hande hoche!

kneemos wrote: »

Seriously,morse code?

As seen in that documentary, Transformers.

neil_hosey

shoot ice cubes back into a pint glass of bulmers from my mouth from a good distance.. apparrently its "disgusting"

arybvtcw0eolkf

kneemos wrote: »

Seriously,morse code?

lol, seriously yes.

miguelk

kneemos wrote: »

who the hell uses morse code?

I believe this situation calls for...

petethebrick

I sometimes pick my nose and if there's nothing to stick it on I put it in my mouth and spit it out. It's a dirty habit I know but thankfully haven't been seen doing it yet!

Oranage2

I leave the tea bag in the cup, done it in a previous job and a co worker looked at me in some serious shock.

holystungun9

kiffer wrote: »

Tity tity tah tity tity tity tah tah tity tah tity tah tity tah?

mmmmmmm, tityyyy

Chuck Stone

kneemos wrote: »

Seriously,morse code?

AFAIA it's still used by the navies (between ships etc) because it maintains radio silence.

miguelk

An in-law (who after becoming a grandfather) was waiting at the airport and noticed a similar aged infant to his grandchild being held by its mother in the seat across from him.

This triggerred thoughts of his own grandchild, he wondered if they were a similar age - were they both starting to crawl, whether his grandchild was a little bit bigger now etc etc and so this daydream was going on for a minute or so as he continued to look at the baby before him with an smile on his face.

Then he noticed that the mother was actually breast feeding.

He slowly moved his sights from the baby up to the mother who was glaring at (in her eye's) some pervert.

So totally innocent but looked bad - he said he was so embarassed he just had to get out of there.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Chuck Stone wrote: »

AFAIA it's still used by the navies (between ships etc) because it maintains radio silence.

Well yes and no. Its still used to pass visual signals between ships, or between ships and dock.

Most armies have made it obsolete now, but its still used in most navies & air forces.

Capt'n Midnight

Hande hoche! wrote: »

As seen in that documentary, Transformers.

And Independence Day

Chuck Stone wrote: »

AFAIA it's still used by the navies (between ships etc) because it maintains radio silence.

wait a minute they'd still use the radio ...

... ah you mean with those flappy lights


lasers would be better or use frequencies heavily attenuated by the atmosphere

all kinda moot since the only people with the capability of taking out a ship in the middle of the ocean already have satellites which can see the wake from the ship , once you get to the continental shelf you're probably on radar

Queen-Mise

I call my children: Child No. 1 and Child No. 2, or sometimes, Gruesome Onesome and Twosome.

kneemos

kneemos wrote: »

Your a spy from 1943 right?who the hell uses morse code?

People on the 3 network

Soups123

petethebrick wrote: »

I sometimes pick my nose and if there's nothing to stick it on I put it in my mouth and spit it out. It's a dirty habit I know but thankfully haven't been seen doing it yet!

That is fcukin mank.

gramar

A friend of mine prays. I've never really asked him about it but he does it at certain times and you can see him with his hands discreetly clasped together and his lips murmuring our fathers or something like that.
One day in the car i was driving and got the impression he wasn't paying me any attention when I was talking and then I knew why when I saw the hands together and the lips quivering out of the corner of my eye.

Rented Mule

Damn I wish the phrase 'yore ma' wouldn't get me banned !!

Mr Whirly

padd b1975 wrote: »

When I eat an apple, more often than not I eat the core too.

One day an apple tree will grow out of you.

1ZRed

hoodwinked wrote: »

once i had a pair of jeans where the zip kept falling down so every now and then id discreetly pull it back up.


one day in the middle of the city center i felt a breeze down there so i quickly tried pulling it up, only it got stuck like only zips do, with no bathrooms nearby i was forced to try and fix it, but someone messing around with their hand down there in a public street never looks good

Ah Jesus this happened to me but with my belt fecking up on me in a weird way, so I walked to a more quiet section of the shop to redo it cos they were sliding down my arse, but the quiet section I thought I was in wasn't so quiet.
I'd actually stumbled into the kids section of footlocker of all places.

The looks of pure and unfiltered 'wtf' I got from moms as I was sorting out my belt and jeans was soul crushing

Ihatecuddles-old

Mine would be praying too. I try to do it discreetly but I'm sure I look nuts.
Touching wood.
I have a tiny cut up my nose, sometimes I rub cream up there. Looks like I'm picking my nose.

1ZRed

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Mine would be praying too. I try to do it discreetly but I'm sure I look nuts.
Touching wood.
I have a tiny cut up my nose, sometimes I rub cream up there. Looks like I'm picking my nose.

Groping men after surely can't help clear things up!

the culture of deference

Mr Whirly wrote: »

One day an apple tree will grow out of you.

we were told this as kids in the 70's

Ush1

Oranage2 wrote: »

I leave the tea bag in the cup, done it in a previous job and a co worker looked at me in some serious shock.

A mate of mine drinks tea out of a pint glass with 2 bags left in with his fry up.

Frank Black

A guy we used to play golf with used to make this face whenever he hit the ball.
We used to call it his "cum face" as we assumed it was the same face he made when he...

Well you get the idea.

Pilotdude5

kneemos wrote: »

Seriously,morse code?

Its still used as an identifier for Aircraft Navigation beacons. Tune in the required frequency and you wait and listen for the dots and dashes.

Its not required to know Morse anymore but you read the Morse symbols on an Approach plate and match it to what your hearing.

Bipolar Joe

Man, so many things. The one that was most embarrassing at the time was when I was walking home from school as a teen. I have depersonalisation disorder, and at times I zone out really hard. It can look like I'm just standing asleep with my eyes open, or in some vegetative state. I was on my way home, and went into a store to get a drink or some chocolate or whatever. Next thing I remember I snap back to reality, and see two female English teachers staring at me as I just stand there unresponsive. Then I realised it looked like I was gawping over Sunday Sport.

the culture of deference

black francis wrote: »

A guy we used to play golf with used to make this face whenever he hit the ball.
We used to call it his "cum face" as we assumed it was the same face he made when he...

Well you get the idea.

like this

padraig harrington

http://www.irishgolfdesk.com/storage/post-images/Padraig_2622481.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1328602047168

http://nationalpostsports.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/082312-harrington.jpg?w=620


or this

http://www.citynews.ca/files/2011/06/d75fbd0f4770abaa50f8f5796f90-473x315.jpeg

ElvisChrist6

This was a once off, but still...
Just moved into these flats a few years ago, so one night I'm in my room changing and as I'm unbuttoning my shirt I go and look out the window, through which I see three young boys about 10 years old. One of them had his trousers by his ankles and they were all talking. In the 5 seconds it took me to go "The ****?", one of the kids looks up directly into my window and shouts "HE'S LOOKING OUT HIS WINDOW!!!"
Some luck. :rolleyes:

CrazyRabbit

kneemos wrote: »

Your a spy from 1943 right?who the hell uses morse code?

-- .- -.- .. -.- --- -- .. / -.. --- . ... .-.-.-

keithb93

I drink my own piss.

Dwork

keithb93 wrote: »

I drink my own piss.

From Cavan by any chance? Sounds moreish. guuhh.

Slunk

In work I have to load things for the girls who work on board and trying to make life easier for them I ask, where do you want it, front or back? Was getting strange looks for a while until one of the other lads start laughing when he overheard.Does sound a little rude I must admit