Trouble in bed, age?

John_1981

I have never once had problems with "excitement" in bed but over the past few months its been a real effort for me to make it to the finish line with my GF.

We have been going out for almost three years now and i have never run into this issue in my life before (but this is the longest relationship i have been in).

Everything else is going very well, i have even started thinking about tying the knot. She doesn't seem to skip a beat going a couple times at a minimum.

im only 30 so i HOPE its not an age thing. And outside the bedroom i have no problems on my own (when she is out of town or its that time).

Is this just a normal relationship thing? if i had been dating Cindy Crawford for the last three years would i be experiencing the same thing?

Thanks

** clearly the title should have said "Bed", not way to edit

Merkin

I think your first port of call should be your GP. You're only a young guy and at 30 any erectile dysfunction is not age-related. There are however any number of medical and environmental reasons why this could be an issue however so best to rule these out first by speaking to your local doctor about what's happening.

John_1981

but i dont seem to have a problem on my own... but then again on my own i have infinite verity (aka internet)

Ive been doing a little reading, it seems like stress may be my problem (work not the GF)

but thanks for the advice Markin, if it keeps up ill make an appointment.

Irish_Elect_Eng

Only in porn do people have infinite erections on demand every time.
(Not being a prude, but reducing or laying off the porn can be beneficial in this situation)

And yes, stress can be a huge factor, better sorted sooner rather than later.

Predictability can take some of the spice out of sex, putting some work in it can sort that out handily enough. There are many creative ways to do this, I find that the simplest way to spice things up is to forget about yourself and focus on your partner, you will discover new things constantly if paying 100% attention to their needs. And it has the side benefit of our partners returning the favor :-).

LegacyUser

It's most likely the porn..you probably won't want to give it up though. I think it's inevitable that erection problems occur after men have gotten into the habit of viewing it, and we all know it's very hard to break habits. But the situation wont get any better until you 'rewire' the brain's need for it, so to speak. And that only happens by giving it up. Even when its not that often.

Happened with my own boyfriend, he gave it up when we were having problems (ie him finishing, it was exhausting!) and now has no problem whatsoever, and sex is much more enjoyable all around.

blatantrereg

It's certainly not inevitable that erection problems will result from watching porn. Porn shouldn't be an issue unless masturbation is done in preference to sex. Even then, porn itself isn't the issue.

It would be easier to argue that porn avoids erection problems. To some extent your libido adjusts to match the amount of stimulation/sex/masturbation you experience.

That said, it sounds like it might be that you're emptying the tank while watching porn: Which is pretty much giving it preference over sex. Best to use self-relief as a backup, not as a first option really.

username123

John_1981 wrote: »

if i had been dating Cindy Crawford for the last three years would i be experiencing the same thing?

I dont understand this? Are you saying your GF is not good looking? Or that you dont fancy her?

Its normal for sex to become less exciting with the same person over time. Thats where you need to put in more of an effort to spice it up. Self relief can interfere also by "emptying the tank" (great expression blatantrereg).

But sometimes in life we have times where we are more or less horny. Its life. It happens. Lack of sleep, stress, illness etc... No one is permanently in top sexual condition 100% of the time. You dont mention how often you have sex but my advice to you would be to take a break, from sex with your girlfriend and from self relief also. If your norm is once a week, skip a week or two. You will be enjoy it more after you miss it a bit. Also it gives time for whatever is going on to change, such as stress etc...