A new direction in life so early on?

ImpossibleDuck

Okay so I'm 18 years old at present, and am currently sitting in one of our fine NUIs. I did quite well in my leaving cert and am now about to complete my second semester of college. I didn't do transition year, so I came to college as a 17 year old. I've always been relatively hard to faze and have taken everything in my stride so far. I'm in college now and feel like I'm not ready for college. I'm getting on fine academically, but I just don't feel like an 18 year old, who has never spent more than a week outside of Ireland, can have any idea what direction he's supposed to be headed in life.

My point here is that I feel like I have a lot of growing up to do, and (this might sound quite clichéd) but I feel like I need to find out who I am. I'm strongly considering dropping out of college and moving abroad and getting by on my own for a few years. When I came to college, I thought I would have this growing up experience, but due to financial implications I decided to share a room with my best friend. Because of this, it feels like I still haven't been left to fend for myself.

I've always got on pretty well in school despite lacking motivation and any sort of work ethic. I feel (and maybe I'm being naive here) like having to fend for myself, and tough it out for a while will allow me to finally put my laziness behind me.

Also, due to a bit of a lack of social skills I have made very few friends since coming to college, and again I think this is because I was too much in my comfort zone with sharing a room with my best friend. I'm not sure if it's fair to say college has been tough (because I'm lucky to be here coming from a severely lower class family) but two members of my family have specifically pulled me aside and felt the need to tell me that they think I have depression, which I've always been skeptical about (teenagers saying they're depressed, always seemed dodgy to me but I digress).

So my question is this: Does this whole idea sound feasible? An 18 year old dropping out of college (or, more likely, just taking a year or two out) and moving abroad in an attempt to mature enough to attend college?

Also, I should note that part of the inspiration for dropping out is that I feel I'm in the wrong course but don't know what the right course is.
And, I should also note that I have the full backing of my parents to drop out of college if I feel it is the right decision. The whole 'moving abroad' thing I'm sure they would be hesitant about, but I honestly don't think they'd hold me back.

So yeah, am I romanticising the idea of this, or could it really help me?
All feedback welcome, even if it's telling me I'm a dumb teenager who doesn't know how lucky they have it (maybe I need to be told that!)

Thanks sincerely

Merkin

I think that because you are so directionless at present and so lost as to what you want to do and why you want to do it, then the discipline of college is a good thing. Attending university is a right of passage and with that comes personal development, forging new relationships and of course expanding the mind.

You sound like you want to go abroad, half-cocked for no specific reason other than to "experience life" which in itself you've been given the very fortunate opportunity to do. Going away on a whim sounds like an idealistic means of escape but your intention to experience life to me lacks some foresight and direction.

If you're doing well academically and don't hate your course per se, then why don't you continue on with it and really throw yourself into college life and all it has to offer? Do you have a part-time job? If not, get one and use that extra money to supplement rent in shared accommodation where maybe you can meet new people in a house share. Are you a member of any sports teams or societies? Another great way of meeting people.

Life often gives you what you put in and if you want, you can enjoy college and make them some of the best years of your life. Rather than plotting a rather ill-informed escape to take up a menial job abroad why don't you finish your education and then use that as a springboard to open up a whole new world of opportunity for you?

You don't sound like you've really thought any of this through at all.

Roisy7

I was very naive and young going to college and I hadn't experienced much. However, the 4 years of college for me were a real growing experience. Even if you are sharing with a friend you are learning and growing all the time. Now that I'm all graduated, I really am amazed at how different I was when I was 18.

Economically, you'd be crazy to quit college. How are you gonna pay for a deferred year? How are you going to afford to go abroad? As the previous poster said it seems you haven't thought this through.

During my time in college I had the option of doing a semester abroad and it was a great experience for me. Can you do this at your college?

The first semester is always weird and strange. Stick with college I'd advise, and throw yourself into everything there. You don't have to go abroad for great experiences. Are you in any clubs or societies?

Aye Bosun

I've 2 mates that dropped out of college when we were your ages, everyone was very disappointed in them and gave them hard time about it. One went traveling for a year and one went abroad and volunteered. Cut to nearly 20 years later, one is a cardiac technician and the other a lawyer. Neither were studying their future careers first time around and both have said how that year out was best thing they ever did, as it gave them motivation and direction to pursue a career in the areas they wanted to work.

It's tough decision to make, but only you can make it. Just make sure you use the time out as productively at possible. Volunteering aboard is very rewarding and an educational, it could help you make the important decision as to what you want from the rest of your life.

Studying in college just for the sake of it, is IMHO, a complete waste of your time and money. The amount of friends I have that went to college and have never used there degree since is astounding and if you ask them, most will say they wish they had taken more time to find out what they really wanted to do first, I'm including myself in that!

18 is very young and you have your whole life ahead of you, there is no need to rush a decision that has the potential to effect the rest of your life, so think long and hard about it and speak to older friends and learn from their experiences.

That's my 2 cents anyway, best of luck whatever you decide.

afterglow

hi OP

To be honest, I think that sometimes, there is a lot of pressure put on young people particularly now, and when I say young, I mean people your age, and I don't mean that in a patronising way.
Go to school, do a junior cert, which probably, really, is of no importance, just so you can get prepared to do an even bigger exam a few years later. Then, a few years after that, do an exam in which you are expected to cram 2 years of learning in 6 or more subjects into your head, and you must do higher level in as many of these as possible, and strive for high marks in all of them!!!!
Not saying this is true for you, just saying in some instances this is what I felt in school and felt like a failure because I couldn't do what I've just writtten above.
now as to what you should actually do:
I think there are a few questions which it would do no harm to ask yourself:
did you want to go to university in the first place, or were you just expected to go and so this was what you did? if yes, then I think you are well justified in wanting to maybe see the world, and defer college for a while, but my second question to you in this instance would be why did you go in the first place if you didn't think it was for you?
If university isn't unbearable, which it doesn't seem from your post, could you stick it out and maybe go travelling after, or do you think this will just lead to you being unhappy? If it would, then again you are right to be thinking along the lines you are, but if you could stick it out this might not be such a bad thing either.
The last point I would just want to pick up on was where you said that you don't think your course is the right one for you, but you don't currently know what is. Unless you even have an idea, and maybe then, could focus your travels on what you think this idea might be, if that makes sense, I would be a bit weary of going traveling and just dropping out for the sake of it. I have been where you are a number of times with courses not being what I thought they would, and I myself have dropped out, but I had no backup plan, and I'm telling you, sitting around with nothing to do is no fun, so think long and hard about leaving uni and just going traveling with no plans. Not saying this is what you are doing, just a word of caution, that's all.
You are very lucky that you have the support of your parents in droppping out if this is what you decide to do, so give all the posts here so far a lot of thought and then ultimately, as someone else has said, you will make your own decision. Only you really know what you want to do and what you feel is best for you.
Best of luck with whatever you decide OP

daisybelle2008

ImpossibleDuck wrote: »

So yeah, am I romanticising the idea of this, or could it really help me?
All feedback welcome, even if it's telling me I'm a dumb teenager who doesn't know how lucky they have it (maybe I need to be told that!)

Thanks sincerely

OP, the amount of times you mention your age in your post is astonishing and it is all fairly negative. And then you encourage people to tell you you are a dumb teenager :eek:. Stop doing that. Really why talk yourself down so much. By all means go abroad, why not but make a decision and go with it. Don't keep asking other people's opinion. You will mire yourself down with contradiction and indecisiveness. Be brave, don't be afraid to make decisions and mistakes. In my experience it is a weak trait to keep (i mean continually btw) asking other people's opinion, it lacks confidence and trust in yourself. Seriously the best lesson in growing up is to stop giving a f*ck what other people think and do what makes you happy. Take a year or two out if that's what you feel like.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

I would advise you to stay in college. If you leave college to go traveling what will happen to you abroad with out skills/qualifications/a large amount of cash?
In a few months or a years time you will be back in Ireland with no job and if you want to go back to college it will cost you several thousand euro.
From what you have told us your family don't have this money to spare.
You could end up at 20/21 with no job or qualifications.
If you stay in college you are working towards qualifications, you can go on the J1 visa to the Us or Canada during the summers you are in college.
Ok at the moment you have not got a lot of money but a part time job could help you with this and most students are not cash rich.
I know a girl who is now in her early 30's. When she was in her first year of college she lived with a few friends but she got involved with college groups and made other friends.
She got a part time job to help her get through college. Today she has her degree, masters and has a good job. She went to the usa on a J1 visa and has traveled a lot since she started to work as she is earning a good wage and can do this in comfort.
With college you have to push yourself - get involved with new groups/organisation/interests and broaden your circle of friends. Also in college you can do extra activities at a cheap cost which can broaden you interests and help with your cv now and at a later date.
Also getting a part time job will give you some extra money and broaden you skills to put on a cv for when you leave college.

NakedNNettles

Jeez, a few of ye need to lighten up on a serious basis.

Yeah education is important but you don't need a flaming degree to travel, work on farms, cafes, takeaways, holiday resorts, hotels, any of the jobs young 18 year olds are willing to work at. What's wrong with some you? Did you forget you were young once?

OP, you're not in secondary school anymore, you're your own person. If you want to go travelling, then go for it. Travelling will make you grow up fast, become independent, help you work out where and what you want to do in life.

Education will help you open those doors once you come back to it, which I would advise you to do, but there's no point wasting money on that now if your not interested in it.

Check out this book if you get the chance, 'Finding the Open Road', it might inspire you.

http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Open-Road-Self-Construction-Production/dp/1580087213

castaway_lady

You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself here. You're not meant to have done it all at 18, but its good to be so aware, just don't get over frustrated. Dropping out of college to fit in your life experience in now is hasty- why don't you work on some summers abroad first, or international work experience if your course gives scope for it- it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

I work in education with people in their late teens, 20s mostly- it takes most people a fair bit of time out of school to figure out life and most of us keep figuring it out as we go along. Have a think about the "life is a journey not a destination" idea too.